


Helped Me Fly (You Give Me Life)

by WritewhatIwant



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha Louis, Alpha/Alpha Relationship, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Anal Fingering, Anal Fisting, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Arguing, Bearded Harry, Beta Niall, Bottom Louis, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gender Dysphoria, Humor, Jealous Harry, Karaoke, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Medical Inaccuracies, Minor Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Miscommunication, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Zayn, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recreational Drug Use, Rivalry, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Somewhat, Therapy, Top Harry, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, jealous josh, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis cries a lot, slight Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 48,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26293363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritewhatIwant/pseuds/WritewhatIwant
Summary: Two Alphas.Two College Roommates.One struggling with self-identity.One struggling with their self-conscious.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Original Male Character(s), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 186
Kudos: 420
Collections: larry





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> • Mentions/Talk of Anxiety  
> • Mentions/Talk of Panic Attacks
> 
> Title From ‘Cool People’ by Chloe x Halle

“ _What_?” Louis breathed shakily; hands gripped around the strap of his duffle so tight that there’d be welts lining his palms later. “I-I’m,” he gulped, sweaty fingers slipping down the black strap, “I’m supposed to have a single. I emailed housing two weeks in advance.”

The worn-down beta stared boringly up at a frazzled Louis, “Look, man, I’m not in that department. I just hand out the keys, and from this piece of paper, you are in Azalea with a…” he glanced down at the clipboard again, “Harry Styles.”

Louis felt woozy, vision slightly fuzzy around the edges as he heard the name of his roommate. The roommate that he wasn’t supposed to have because he’d made sure he was prompt about emailing the housing office and requesting a single.

“I can’t have a roommate. I…I—” His voice cracked, the resolve he’d built on the drive down on the brink of crumbling.

He wishes he’d begged his mom to stay. Except he couldn’t beg her to do anything, because she’d spent five years dealing with his _mess_. Five years of his body not aligning with his classification, and a constant struggle with his emotions. She needed this distance more than he did, even if it killed him.

“Look, get settled in, and if things with your roommate don’t work out, talk with your RA about a room replacement. Also, it’s hard for freshmen to get singles, even if you do ask ahead of the rush.”

Louis tensed, frowning deeply before taking the room key and moving out of the line. He couldn’t have a roommate. He _needed_ to be in a single, had his mother stayed, she would’ve ensured that’s what happened. She would’ve shouted and complained until Louis got what he wanted. Another reason it was good she’d left already.

Looking across the parking lot, he spotted the large rolling cart with all his belongings stacked upon it. For the sake of his sanity, he’d overpacked on purpose, reminders of his home back in Oregon that would help keep the panic-induced anxiety attacks at bay.

He swallowed, the fresh air helping his muddled thoughts settle as he pushed through the sea of college students. Bodies rushing to and from as they connected with friends and said their goodbyes to family.

“Howdy! Need any help getting set up in your room?”

Louis squinted, honing in on a blonde, smiling brightly at him wearing a black t-shirt, the words RA written in bold white letters. “Oh, uh,” Louis ducked his head, looking at his trembling hand wrapped loosely around a bar of the metal dolly, “Sure.”

His blue eyes were filled with mirth as he grabbed hold of the opposite pole, “M’Niall, sophomore, RA of A3.”

“A3?” Louis asked unsurely, pulling the cart along to get in the line leading inside.

“It means Azalea third floor.” He smiled big, “Let me see your confirmation sheet.”

Louis slid his duffle over his head, the strap pressing into his chest right over his rapidly beating heart. His hands were so sweaty. After pulling the thinly folded piece of paper from the front pocket of his jeans, he handed it over to the blonde. He noted the residue faintly leftover from his fingertips.

“Well, looky there, you’re in my neck of the woods fresh meat.” Niall looked unsure, eyes flitting across the paper a while longer. Then he frowned briefly before schooling his features back into his bright smile. “Oh, I thought—"

Louis’ insides churned. “What is it,” Louis asked slowly, eyes planted on the group laughing jovially in front of them.

“Nothing, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“Assumed what?” Louis pushed on with bated breath.

“I thought you were an omega, I…I just—”

“Well, I’m not,” Louis immediately corrected. “I’m an alpha.”

“My bad man, who cares about classifications anyways.” He said quickly, contrite laughter tampering off when he eyed Louis’ stoic face.

Louis wanted to tell him off so badly. Tell him that when you didn’t fit your classification, they meant _everything_ to everyone else. Louis didn’t have to look in the mirror to know that he didn’t align with what most people associated with being an alpha. He was small, soft, and _dainty_. Everything about him was tiny, from his body all the way down to his facial features, even his _thing_ was small.

Constant taunts in grade school about him not being a real alpha, and high school spent trying to adapt to what felt wrong and _still_ being turned down by male omegas because he wasn’t ‘alpha enough’. His mother would come to his rescue time and time again to consistently remind him that it was better to be a gentleman instead of a knothead.

“Yeah, who cares.” Was his stilted reply.

Reaching the third floor, they both breathed a sigh of relief. Louis managed to keep his gaze off the lingering bodies in the common space. He only watched Niall, who waved and shouted out to a few familiar faces before guiding the cart through another door.

“This is A3, Hall Shamrock. Shamrock, because I’m Irish.”

“Cool. I, uh, I requested a single, but the guy at the confirmation desk said they’re hard to come by for freshmen.”

“Yeah, they are, they’re usually the first to go. Seniors and athletes get first dibs, and after them it trickles down. I know admin usually keeps a few empty for ruts and heats or if there are any discrepancies between roommates, which is usually alphas.” He laughed at that last comment, looking back at an unamused Louis, “If you and your roomie go at it, you can get a single.”

“Are you suggesting something?” Louis asked carefully.

“No way.” Niall laughed loudly, cackles shooting down the hallway, “I was just letting you know. I wouldn’t suggest getting in a fist fight for a room. It’s not worth it.”

Louis’ smile didn’t stretch too far across his face, “I can’t make any promises.”

Niall came to a halt in front of a black door, the numbers 317 being stored in Louis’ memory bank. “Why do you say that?” Niall was frowning, the concern in his sky blue irises unsettling the calm Louis finally had firmly intact.

“Nothing really. It’s just, most alphas see me as a joke, I’m easy to pick on,” Louis revealed bluntly, eyes boring into the black numbers clashing with the yellow wall.

Niall cleared his throat, concerned gaze averting down to stare at the gray carpet. “Shit.”

“Sorry.” Louis rushed, eyes flitting over the awkward male. “I…”

“It’s fine man. Just, if you have any problems,” Niall looked him head-on, eyes firm as he stared at Louis, “Tell me and I’ll handle it. I may be just a beta, but I can handle my own.”

Louis relaxed only slightly, the heavy feeling in his chest subsiding as he handed over his room key. “Thanks.”

Niall pushed into the room, and the stress of meeting his alpha roommate diminished when they were met with two empty beds. “First pick, now aren’t you a lucky bastard.”

Louis laughed breathily, helping maneuver the cart into the middle of the bare room. Each side adorned with the same simple furniture. A twin XL bed and a matching desk aligned each wall; he peeked into the empty closet to find a small dresser shoved into one corner. The large vertical window against the back wall washed the room in Texas sunlight, making the bleak eggshell walls not seem so dreary.

With four hands working steadily, they cleared off the dolly in a timely fashion. Niall huffed, smiling hugely as he eyed the boxes laid around the bed on the left side of the room.

“You share a bathroom with your neighbors, so just beware. A little advice would be not to leave any of your personals in there, and also, shower shoes are a must. Four hormonal alphas sharing _one_ shower, you can piece together what I’m trying to say.”

“Yeah, I understand. I packed a pair, so I’m all good.” Louis told him with a thumbs up.

“Well, get settled and unpacked. Move-in usually takes all morning, but once every floor is settled, we’ll have everyone meet in the first floor commons for a dorm meeting. I’d say to get a seat and some of the refreshments to head down around 5-ish.”

“Okay.” Louis responded tiredly, removing his duffle and tossing it on what would be his bed for the next ten months or so, “Thanks for the help.”

“It’s my job,” He said before leaving Louis alone.

Being left alone with his rushing thoughts and fidgety feelings towards what was to come was never good. The single was ideal because it removed any altercations or fall outs he could encounter with an alpha roommate hellbent on following gender norms. He decided to call his mom to settle his nerves. Her voice always soothed his overwrought mind, and he was still unsure if he’d be able to manage without it.

“It’s fine mom, I just, I know for next year.” Louis breathed out slowly.

“It’s not fine, they should mention that sort of thing before people make trips around the world.”

Louis winced, twitching fingers wrapping around the frayed end of his threadbare blanket tossed at the edge of his mattress. “Mom.” He groaned, gaze flitting from his erratically tapping foot to the window.

“Sorry, sorry… How’s the room?”

“It’s alright, I share a bathroom with three other people.”

“You ready for Monday? I really think I should’ve stayed through the weekend.”

Louis shook his head, blinking back tears, “No. It’s better this way…we—I need to be on my own mom, it’s not healthy. The therap—.”

“Was an entitled asshole who I’d never give my money to ever again. You are different, and there is nothing wrong with that.”

_Different._

Louis clenched the phone, “There _is_ something wrong with that. I’m an alpha with a fucked-up knot and emotions running rampant.” Louis wiped at the lone tear traveling quickly down his rosy cheek. “I’m not supposed to be in this body, mom. This classification isn’t right, and I just—” He yelped, unoccupied hand pressed to his trembling lips. Eyes squeezed shut as he tried to calm the rising panic he felt biting at his nape, eager to wrap around his neck.

“I’m turning around.”

“No, mom, no.” He collected himself, sniffling twice before clearing his throat and wiping at his blotchy face harshly. “I’m fine. I…once I make some friends and get used to my classes, this problem won’t matter.”

“Stop thinking that you’re a burden to me, Lou. You’re my son, my only child, I’ll love you until the end of time no matter what.”

He smiled lightly, “I love you more than all the fishes in the sea—”

“And the stars in the sky.” She followed up, the oldies station she was playing flooding through the phone line as they sat in silence.

“Call me when you get to your first pit stop. My roommate hasn’t shown up yet, but hopefully, it goes smoothly.”

“Any problems and you tell someone, Louis. Do you hear me? Don’t let anybody walk over you.” Her tone strict.

Louis sighed deeply, “Yes, I hear you, this isn’t high school though, mom, bullies aren’t a thing.”

“Maybe not, but bullies turn into douchebags, sweetheart. College is littered with those.”

“Mhmm, bye.” Louis followed up, clicking off the call and staring blankly at the phone screen.

When three-thirty rolled around, Louis began to bounce between restrained happiness and unease of the inevitable. His roommate was still nowhere to be found, and he was hoping he’d get lucky and the guy would be a no show—the entire school year with a room for two all to himself.

He organized his dresser and the top of his desk. Labeling his binders and folders in a color-coded fashion for his classes. He stored his late-night snacks in a rectangular tote on top of the small dresser in his closet. His mini plush caricature of Mickey mouse he’d gotten from his Disney trip last summer sat atop his pillows.

It was nearing four when he heard the key in the door. He was lining up his shoes in the small corner beside his dresser when his body froze. Waiting stock-still for this _Styles_ character to amble inside and assert his dominance. The door opened, and Louis hunched down when boisterous laughter filled the space, three deep voices traveling inside and making him wish he was invisible.

“Dude, she was all over me. I just had to take her home and give her some of the little guy, if you know what I mean.”

Louis’ stomach twisted angrily, a _douchebag_ , great.

“Styles, your dick probably _is_ a little guy.” Friend number one said, his guffaw making Louis’ shoulders tense.

“You’d like to know.” His roommate responded heartily.

Louis didn’t know what to do or where to go. His body was bent over, so he was slightly covered by his desk chair and the left closet door; maybe they wouldn’t notice him hiding like the scaredy-cat he was. The silence that filled the room had his panic rising steadily.

“Uh, dude, are you hiding?” Roommate asked slowly, the snickers from his two other alpha pals making Louis’ blood run cold.

_Don’t let anybody walk over you._

Louis stood slowly, his legs, clad in black skinny jeans, slightly wobbly from being bent in an uncomfortable position. “I was organizing my belongings.” He smoothed down the front of his Stone Roses t-shirt before turning on the heels of his scuffed black vans.

They were all at least two feet taller than him, bulging broad bodies standing in a small huddle as they sized him up. He watched their eyes shift into ones of confusion as they scrutinized him.

“You’re…an alpha?”

Louis let his ocean eyes land on the large body the thick southern voice came from. He was the tallest of the three. Alluring green eyes filled with skepticism, a deviant smirk on puffy red lips that were framed by a full beard, dark tufts of hair surrounding a chiseled jaw. His arms flexed as he crossed them, the tattoos littering both his arms, shifting from the movement. He was dressed in a Texas Longhorns t-shirt, denim wrangler jeans wrapped around his lean legs, and steel-toed Ariat boots.

“Yes, I’m an alpha.” He walked closer to the three doubtful individuals and extended his hand slowly, “I’m Louis.”

Green eyes still seemed unconvinced as he slowly extended his own hand, the size difference contrasting hugely, “I’m Harry. This is Danny and Joey, they live across the hall.” He motioned to the two guys standing on his left. Danny, an African-American with a stoic smile, and Joey, a freckled redhead with stony greys, were slow to shake his hand. They both made Louis uneasy.

“Nice to meet you guys.”

“Same.” They spoke in unison.

When they said nothing more to him, Louis turned on his heels, busying himself with reorganizing his already organized desk. Harry and his buddies talked boisterously, loud laughter and raunchy jokes passed between them as Harry unpacked and made his side of the room his own.

“We’ve gotta change, just in case there are any babes at this gathering,” Joey said, him and Danny moving to the door.

“They won’t be looking at you two. Omegas don’t want alphas with golfballs for knots.” Harry shouted, his bravado tinged in his words as he laughed deeply.

The conversation had nothing to do with Louis, but thinking about his own _endowment_ made his entire body cringe in anticipation. It was easy to convince himself that they knew nothing about what lay between his legs, but he still bristled with unkempt fear.

The door clicked close, and Louis’ senses were on full alert. He was thumbing through a pad of pink sticky notes, unsure of what to do with himself. He didn’t have friends back home. A life spent mainly in isolation robbed him of that opportunity. So approaching a conversation with the man that’d be occupying the same space as him for the next couple of months didn’t come easy.

While he battled between conversation or no conversation, his roommate, Harry, had decided for both of them.“What year are you?”

Louis turned around in the swivel chair so quick that it toddled dangerously before he righted himself. “Oh!” He looked into Harry’s amused eyes, then averted to staring at his number 28 tattoo, “I’m a freshman.”

“Sophomore. You out-of-state?”

Louis nodded in quick successions, “Mhmm. I’m from Oregon—Ashland, Oregon.”

“Goodness, what in the hell brought you to Texas?”

“Nursing. I want to be a pediatric nurse.”

Louis could tell Harry wanted to nitpick his major. “Um, that’s…cool.”

“What about you?” Louis said quickly. He couldn’t hold Harry’s gaze for long, confidence not nearly where it needed to be.

“Mechanical Engineering.”

Louis smiled, “That’s cool. My uncle is an engineer. He worked for Disneyland in California, which meant a lot of free trips.”

“Awesome, my little sister _loves_ Disney,” Harry responded. Louis would’ve seen it just as a simple statement, but the restrained smile the other alpha was holding back made his stomach roll.

“It’s a great place,” Was all he added, before turning around in his chair, focusing all his attention on not crying.

“Dude,” Harry chuckled softly, “It was a joke, calm down. Disney is fucking awesome.”

The right side of Louis’ mouth quirked slightly. “Sorry.”

“It’s cool. Just relax, I understand college is scary, definitely for someone all the way from Oregon, but it’s a good time.”

Harry’s eyes were genuine as he watched Louis fidget, a smile growing across his face as he continued staring.

Louis could easily note Harry’s mischief, a sign that only made him nervous. “W-what?”

The smile was becoming a bit eerie at this point. “Oh, nothing, just… _you_.”

“Me?”

“Sorry if this is rude as hell, but I just can not wrap my head around you being an alpha.” Harry chuckled shortly, “I mean, you’re all...clean-shaven and—“ he snapped his finger, “Pretty, that’s the word,” he stated, firmly nodding twice, more so to himself than to Louis.

Louis stared down at the plush gray flooring, a frown across his lips, but a blush rising anyways at being called pretty. “Extremely rude.” Was his first quieted response as he landed a fleeting gaze on Harry before stationing them on the room window. “If I wasn’t an alpha, I would be on a different hall.”

“I meant no disrespect,” Harry added sincerely, rising from his lounged position on the extra-long twin and heading for the door. “Just… _different_. I’ll be next door, see ya downstairs.”

Louis was still staring out the window when Harry exited, that word he heard consistently throughout his life stabbing into his body and twisting left and right.

_Different._

Harry was everything he wasn’t—Harry wasn’t different. He was the guy that bragged about how big his cock and knot were. The guy who had a multitude of friends and a lively social life with a charming aura about him that could make anyone envious. Harry was the guy that got to call outcasts like Louis different because they’d grown up being taught they were the norm.

His fingers itched to retrieve his cellphone and call his mother. There was this incessant dread building beneath his bones at being stuck in this dorm with Harry making him feel slightly unstable. It was still too early for him to make a final decision on what type of relationship he would have with his new roommate. Seeing how first introductions went, he wasn’t too confident in their future.

  
“Your RA is in place to help you, so please, if you encounter a problem, whether it be about your room or your roommate, let them know.”

Louis couldn’t stop staring at Harry, who wasn’t listening to the older woman at the center of the room talk but was instead whispering into a giggling omega’s ear. Louis’ anger flared, the envy he felt for his roommate growing as he watched the two men invade each other’s personal space. When a body disrupted his line of vision, Louis blushed in embarrassment at allowing his emotions to get the best of him.

“How did it go?”

Louis stared up at a cheerful Niall, he had a plate of sweets in one hand, and a can of coke in the other. “Uh, good, I guess. He’s _bearable_.”

Niall nodded slowly then looked around the crowded sitting area, “Where is he?”

Louis sat up taller, eyes looking everywhere but at where he knew Harry was sitting. When Niall’s wandering eyes never faltered, he caved, “Across the way, short brown hair—scruffy beard, with the, uh, omega.”

Niall looked back, and Louis didn’t think the beta could smile any larger, but when he did, it made Louis’ stomach flip. “Oh, you’re with Styles, great guy.”

Louis’ frown was subtle, “Yeah, _great_.”

“Styles!” Niall yelled, a few heads turning towards them, including his roommates. The sudden attention made Louis look down at his shaking thighs, his nerves were fried, and he really just wanted to get back to his room and call his mom again.

“Nialler! How’s it going man?” Harry boasted, his boy musk and cologne enveloping Louis, making him slightly nauseous.

“Pretty good, I’ve got a single, and I’m rooming with a floor full of knotheads, can’t complain.” He said giddily, sitting his plate and drink on the small table on Louis’ left. “I thought you, Li, and Z were gonna rent a place off-campus?”

“We realized that it wasn’t too smart for me to room with them since, you know, they mated this summer.”

“Oh shit. They actually did it?”

“Yep, they’re staying at Wesley over on Adams,” Harry added. Louis watched him look back at the omega, who was still sitting there, waiting for the alpha patiently. “I think it’s high time I settle down too.”

“Oh you’re full of shit Styles,” Niall said in disbelief, laughing at a smirking Harry.

Louis felt sick to his stomach, the little part of him that wanted to stay and socialize stripped away as he sat in the presence of Harry. His hands slipped on the arms of the chair as he rose, the surplus of people making him queasy, his calculated steps toward the elevator faltering.

“Where ya goin Lou?” Niall spoke up.

Louis stopped mid-step, turning halfway around and letting his eyes fall over Niall and Harry. He focused in on Niall to avoid having to see Harry’s smug face. “Uh, I told my mom I’d call her when I got settled in.”

“Okay, well, if you need anything, I’m the first door on the left.”

“Thanks.” Louis forced the right side of his lip to quirk before making a hasty exit.

The minute the elevator doors closed, Louis dropped to the floor and buried his head between his knees. The tears flowed steadily down his cheeks as he held back the urge to whine.

He wasn’t an omega, but more days than not, he felt like one. He thought college would be that push to break him out of this glasshouse he felt entrapped in, but instead, it was more like he’d just moved him and his glasshouse to a different state.

When the lift dinged and stopped at his floor, he stood quickly. He wiped his eyes before stepping out, rushed feet leading him back to his room. In the safety of his dorm, with his back pressed against the freezing wood, Louis let the pent-up cries fall from his lips. He wanted to go home.

* * *

Things for Louis didn’t get better, but they also didn’t get worse. His classes were relatively easy, and that came from him just being a diligent student who had more than enough time to do his coursework. Niall was probably the best RA Louis could ask for. He’d helped him break out of his shell and attend some of the events hosted around campus for the first week. He didn’t consider them friends, just acquaintances whose paths crossed consistently.

His mother texted him every day and called on the weekends. It was only a month into the semester, and he already felt smothered. She was constantly asking if he wanted to come home, using the fact that Cecelia, their Persian, missed him just as much as she did.

Harry was in the list of things that were getting worse for Louis. He was messy and loud, and he never consulted Louis when it came to inviting people over. Numerous times Louis was woken up to Harry stumbling in with an omega, or he was forced to endure late nights of him and his friends sharing a snuck in case of Miller Lite.

Like right now, as Louis did the assigned reading for his American Literature seminar Harry was stumbling in drunk, another night of him taking advantage of thirsty Thursday.

“Oh shit,” Harry whispered, a giggle and burp following simultaneously, “Fuck, I’m hammered.”

“You’re loud too,” Louis interjected, frowning back at the bleary-eyed sophomore.

“Shhh,” Harry pulled off his boots, “You’ll wake my roommate, he’s real uptight.” He giggled once again, crawling his way into bed.

_He wasn’t uptight._

He shouldn’t care what the overgrown toddler thinks, but as he stared at his flashcard, the words blurring as his tears clumped against his eyelashes, he realized that he did. He cared because he wanted that freedom, the late nights out with friends being euphoric and careless. Louis wanted more than anything to go out for drinks with people who didn’t ask a billion questions on why he didn’t fit his classification.

It didn’t matter what friend group he pushed himself to mesh with; they all asked the same questions. They gave him the same iffy look, one that said he didn’t belong, and from years and years of trying to fit his oddly shaped puzzle piece into other people’s picture, he just couldn’t get it _right_.

He wiped his eyes, the habit of crying at every turn, making him shove his flashcards angrily back into the desk drawer. Harry was lying face first in his pillow, and Louis hated his guts right about now, but he had not one malicious bone in his body. With what little strength he could manage, he pushed the brute on his side and placed a glass of water along with two aspirin on his desk.

Harry didn’t have to like him, it was no secret he didn’t care for the other alpha either, but his mother had raised him better.

Friday found Louis rushing to get ready for the school day. He’d been so bothered by Harry’s words that he’d forgotten to set his alarm. The tears were already bubbling as he frantically packed his backpack. Harry was snoring away, not a care in the world; Louis had overheard him bragging about not having any classes on Friday. The lucky bastard.

When he glanced down at his Apple watch, 7:30 flashed up at him, and his steps faltered. A whine so thick and needy fell from his lips, and he couldn’t reign in his upset even though another alpha laid only a few feet away.

Harry’s body jolted forward, his curls askew as his jaded eyes studied the room. He frowned at Louis, hunched over his black Jansport, packing it sporadically. “You okay?” His roughened voice asked.

Louis stilled, hands squeezing at his backpack before he regained his composure and continued his flustered movements. “I’m fine,” He whispered.

“You sure? Because from how badly you’re shaking, you don’t look fine.” Harry said, sleep-addled tone accusatory as he watched Louis tremble, “Ain’t no way you’re an Alpha shaking like that.”

Louis stood to his feet, turned to Harry, and growled, “How about you fuck off.”

Harry frowned, “Why in the fuck are your eyes so damn red? You been crying too, O?”

Louis lunged forward, knocking a surprised Harry on his back and beating at his chest. “I’m Not. A Fucking. OMEGA!” Each word punctuated by a hit to the other male’s chest.

The facade of clouded sleep was gone, now instead replaced with darkened eyes that didn’t seem at all phased by the tiny fist repeatedly knocking into his chest. He let Louis hit him twice more before he easily gathered both of his wrists. Louis’s cries were thick, sobs that wracked his body and made Harry’s own form jostle from their intensity.

Harry could only lay and watch the alpha fall apart on his lap. He’d planned on getting in his own jabs, say a few fucked up comments that would really rile Louis up. Except, all he could do was stare in confusion as Louis whined and whimpered loudly, like a broken… _omega_.

He didn’t understand it. He knew Louis was an alpha; the nursing major had stressed it over and over whenever Harry made stupid little jokes about his classification. He knew with every fiber in his being that this was an alpha in his lap. However, that didn’t stop him from placing Louis’ hands at his side and wrapping the boy in a firm hug.

He held Louis close and let the man cry. Harry kept his nose pressed to Louis mating gland, surprise overtaking him briefly when the soft scent of lemon filled his nose.

_Only omegas have scents in their mating gland._

He couldn’t dwell on that right now, though, “It’s okay, Jellybean, it’s okay.” He whispered softly, the words pressed into Louis’ loose band t-shirt.

It was close to an hour later when Louis truly calmed down. Harry hadn’t released his hold on the man at all, briefly loosening it to inch them further up his mattress and rest his back against the headboard. Louis had pressed his own nose to Harry’s gland, and it surprised the alpha how that act alone had also quieted the man’s cries.

“How many classes did you have today?”

“Three, back to back, I’m going to fail,” Louis whispered, warm breath making Harry shiver slightly.

“It’s not like high school Lou, you can fuck up as many times as you want and just retake the class.”

“That’s not true.”

“It kind of is.”

It was silent after that, mutual breathing the only sounds filling the space, with the occasional sound of footsteps passing by. It came as no surprise that they both ended up dozing off, the comfort of shared body heat making the pull towards sleep that much easier

* * *

Louis startled awake, his bewildered thoughts chaotic as he pushed away from Harry’s body. Assessing their dilemma, he immediately removed himself from the alpha’s lap, the nausea of what had occurred between them, making him trip over his own legs. When Harry sat up with half-lidded eyes, he reached out for his body, and Louis immediately moved away.

“Jellybean, what’s wrong?”

_Jellybean?_

“I-I’m sorry, Harry, I…I—” Louis whimpered, eyes squeezed shut, hands rubbing frantically together. “It was an accident, this is…this is why I needed… _needed_ a single.”

“Hey, hey,” Harry stood and pulled Louis into his personal space, arms engulfing the shaking body. “I don’t know what happened earlier, but please, please calm down so it won’t happen again.”

Louis let Harry hold him. As much as he wanted to pull away and prove that he was tough, that he wasn’t fragile, being held by the other alpha was calming. It settled his raging waters of anxiety that were rising to new heights. “Please, I’m sorry, I just…”

Harry placed his right hand on Louis’ neck and squeezed gently. It was a mechanism alphas used on distressed omegas who were overwhelmed or going into a drop. Louis was not an omega, but his body immediately went limp. Lax bones resting fully on the taller male, his lilted whines like music to Harry’s ears.

“Good jellybean, much better.” Harry’s words were tumbling from his mouth before he could honestly grasp what he was saying, “Let your alpha take care of you, sweetheart.”

Louis’ whimpers were keen and high as he licked softly against the crevice of Harry’s neck and shoulder. His tears were hot, tampering off into warm puddles that seeped into Harry’s skin and made him feel _something_.

His head ached horribly, and he could really go for a cold shower to unwind his alcohol-induced bones. Except, Louis needed him. Louis, an alpha who he should not feel obligated to care for, needed him, and that fact alone was enough for him to push his own needs aside.

“I-I’m sorry…I—”

“Shhh Jellybean, rest.” When Louis became pliant, soft limbs squeezing around his torso before relaxing, Harry smiled into the freshman’s wispy almond tinted hair. “Sleep, and we’ll talk when you wake up.”

“Okay.”

On the second wave of Louis waking up, Harry was prepared. He’d laid Louis in his own bed and cleaned up the freshman’s books and papers scattered on the floor. He’d taken the aspirin that he assumes Louis left out for him along with a cold shower that helped wash away the groggy feeling in his bones.

Whatever had sent Louis over the edge, he was ready to unpack.

Startled blue eyes flew open. Harry braced himself for the fallout, for the tears and the screaming. He expected accusations and for Louis to rear his face in a scowl and act as if nothing happened.

“Why aren’t you holding me?” A deep frown upsetting the balmy undertones of Louis’ face. “D-Did I…”

Harry instantly rushed to Louis’ side, pulling the boy into his lap and rubbing softly at Louis’ back. “Fuck, jellybean, goodness no, I didn’t—I didn’t want to send you spiraling into another _episode_.”

The last word had the timid body going rigid in his loose hold. “I’m sorry.”

Harry pushed Louis away, large palms bracketing the male’s soft cheeks, “Stop apologizing. Just, if you’re comfortable and want to talk about it, then let's talk about it. But, please, stop saying sorry.”

Louis let his eyes wander, a pretty little pout that Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from. “It’s a long story.”

“I have all the time in th—”

Three powerful knocks settled against the aging oak of their dorm door, and Harry, on instinct, pushed Louis back, making the man fly backward onto the mattress. Frightened blues stared up into contrite green.

“Styles! Get your knotless ass out here, we’re hittin’ up the dining hall with Jeanie and Sarah!” It was Joey.

Harry hadn’t taken his eyes off the freshman huddle in on himself. “Give me a sec!”

“Meet us in the lobby.”

Harry eyed Louis sadly, “I’m sorry…I…”

“Go.” Icy words stabbing into the tense-filled atmosphere, “I’m fine.”

“Louis, you aren’t fi—”

Louis growled, canines glistening in the rays of sun, reddened eyes glaring up at a spooked Harry. “Get out of here.” the undertone of his alpha voice, making a shudder role through Harry’s body.

His face hardened, lips downturned as he stared down at Louis with heated eyes once filled with concern now void of emotion. “Well, if you weren’t actin’ like a touch-starved omega, we wouldn’t be in this shit, now would we.”

Louis’ body didn’t budge, so Harry stepped back from the bed and made a swift exit. Louis was left to turn on his stomach, knock his fist into the bedding, and scream uncontrollably into the gray comforter.

It was only day thirty, and Louis’s skin was already ripping at the seams. The pent-up frustration of not fitting in and being misunderstood by everyone slicing at the facade he built over the summer. Why in the hell did he think moving two-thousand miles away from home would suddenly _fix_ his looming problems.

Texas had seemed so promising as he looked through the pamphlets and brochures mailed to him, but now, as he lay huddled under his comforter, eyes itchy and tear streaks forming against his cheeks, Texas was the last place he wanted to be.

* * *

“I’ll come get you this weekend, and you can take a few courses at the community college here.”

Harry had been gone all evening, and Louis couldn’t find a medium between caring and not caring about the alpha’s lingering absence. “I don’t want to just _give up,_ mom, I—I…”

“You don’t have to be a big man Lou. I keep telling you that.”

His agitation swelled. “Yeah, mom, I know.” Blue eyes dancing over Harry’s unmade bed, the ache for the male’s presence making Louis’ throat constrict and dry up. “I gotta go—homework.”

“I wish you would tell me what’s really wrong…I don’t have to be directly in front of my son to know he’s not himself.”

The tears filled across his waterline, “I’m fine.”

Harry rolled in extremely late into the night. Lethargic stumbling and muffled sounds roused Louis from the fitful slumber he’d manage to fall into. The urge to turn over and apologize nipping at his cold neck, until he _heard_ it.

Lilted, airy giggles that had a sort of melodic tone to them passed over his body and wrapped firm around his consciousness. The strangulation of disbelief that would successfully kill him.

 _An omega_.

It was as if Louis was taking the hot branding of obligation and forcing himself to deal with the pain. Inflicting the hot-searing truth unfolding behind him into every fiber of his being. He had to listen. It was only right that he demand his body and feelings to realize that the hole of _potential_ attempting to wallow and form inside of him needed to be filled quickly.

He wasn’t mad at the couple fooling around hastily; he was angry at himself for ever thinking—

“Shhh. My roommate.”

“Hey, he might wanna join.” The omega joked, those same giggles making Louis’ stomach knot and roll like a tidal wave.

“That’s fucking gross.” Harry quipped, the upset in his voice tapering off into a poorly placed chuckle, “Alphas with alphas is just…”

“Peculiar?” The omega finished off, quiet giggles following, “Yeah, I get it, you big manly man, only wanna put that knot in an omega, huh?”

Kissing filled the silence after that, and Louis held his breath so long that his eyesight fuzzed around the edges. He would rather blackout than listen to them have sex.

“I can suck you off?”

“N-No, it’s fine…just whiskey dick,” Harry whispered, “Maybe you should go.”

The omega whined, pitchy and ear-splitting, “Whyy? I really wanna get fucked, H.”

“I’m not in the mood okay,” He hissed, jostling and fumbling causing Louis to fidget discreetly. “I’ll text you.”

When the door clicked shut, Louis exhaled. Harry padded around the room before entering the bathroom. Louis lifted up and stared at Harry’s bed, and his anger bubbled slightly at the mere fact he’d just been in that same bed only hours earlier. He felt so foolish, so _used_.

Things between him and Harry before today had already been stilted and peculiar, but now it felt far more removed. Almost like they were tethered together by this thin line of awkwardness. If snipped, they would both be falling into some anomalous situation Louis wouldn’t be able to handle.

He stared at the bathroom door up until he heard the water shut off. When the doorknob began to turn, he faced back towards the eggshell wall, ears on high alert.

“I know you’re awake.” Harry said coldly, “Really fucking weird, _dupe_.”

In 1994 a young couple conceived an alpha. Their son was a pretty normal child up until the projected time of his first rut. It was more than a surprise when their alpha son went into heat instead. Doctors and other medical professionals labeled him a _dupe_. Medical terminology for a male or female whose classification does not align with there bodies genetic and hormonal make-up. He was the first of 5,000 cases in the United States that would become public knowledge.

Dupes were harassed and shunned. They were seen as biology’s mistake when it came to a person’s second gender. Your biology says you’re one thing, but you experience the throes of another. Ignorant individuals threw it around in petty arguments to hit below the belt. It was considered an insult.

When Louis didn’t experience a rut or heat at the ripe age of sixteen, his mother drove him to doctor after doctor for answers they didn’t want but needed. She shielded him from the stares and whispers of hospital staff after being poked and prodded for hours on end just to be given the same letdown. Louis wasn’t a dupe because he hadn’t been an alpha who’d had a heat, but then again, he hadn’t had his rut either.

Nevertheless, Harry’s words still cut through his back and made him feel like an open wound left exposed and untreated.

He was on the alpha before the heated haze cleared, and the bitter rage he felt over the last four years exploded in the quiet of their room. “You’re a fucking jerk!” Louis growled, shoulders squared as he bared his canines, jaw clenching as he grabbed at different parts of Harry’s body.

“Get the hell off of me.” Harry roared, his anger just as permeating as he fought the shorter male for dominance, “I don’t want whatever the fuck it is you’ve got! I’m a _real_ alpha.”

Louis’ hot angry tears spurred his jabs on, that feeling he’d been letting cultivate deep inside his body finally making an appearance. The building hatred he held towards all these unanswered questions sitting inside of his mind let loose onto the unsuspecting sophomore. “I’m a fucking alpha!” He cried angrily, “More of an alpha then you’ll ever be.”

“Ha! You’re crying right now. Your,” Harry chuckled, one solid push making Louis stumble backward easily, “punches, if I can even _call_ them that, are pitiful and sad.”

Louis hugged his torso, shaking not from the chill hanging in the air, but from rage.

“You are _not_ an alpha. I don’t know what you are.” Harry finished off.

“I fucking _hate_ people like you,” Louis’ eyes were bloodshot as he stared up at Harry, fingers trembling as he gripped into his sweatshirt. “People like you are the reason a lot of people like me find it hard to Just. Fucking. Be.” He sniffled, glare steady and concentrated, “Alphas like you are what’s wrong with this world, you’ll realize that one day.

Harry’s face was unreadable, a stony facade that hid the man’s real emotions.

“I’m requesting a roommate change, I can not _stand_ to be in the same vicinity as you, spineless prick.” Louis made for the door, Harry’s hand wrapping loosely around his wrist.

“I—I…I don’t want another roommate.” Harry whispered. Louis turned around, the dim moonlight cast Harry’s side profile in a soft undertone of blue. The tears glittering brightly.

Louis yanked out of the hold, “Fuck you.” He snarled.

* * *

“I’m sorry Lou, but, a disagreement isn’t a firm reason for removal.”

“He called me a _slur_ ,” Louis stressed, pulling on the short piece of thread sticking out from his kneecap, left leg bouncing rapidly, “How is that not enough!”

“He will be reprimanded for that. I’ve already sent an email to the housing department.” Niall reassured, his smile artificial as he watched Louis squirm anxiously, “You can stay in here for the night just so things can cool down between you two.”

Cool down. Louis wanted to laugh, a maniacal chuckle that would probably have the RA staring at him with frightened skepticism. “That’s not possible, Niall.” Louis eased, tiredly shaking his head.

Niall frowned, his eyes holding a worry that Louis was sort of surprised to see. He and Niall weren’t close, so it was a bit touching that the man seemed to genuinely care.

“I know Harry, Louis, and I honestly don’t think he meant you any harm. Now, I’m not excusing his actions, because, _fuck_ , that was shitty of him, but it has to be deeper.”

“Niall, people can be shitty, whether you know them or not. Harry may be the poster child for all things good to everyone else, but he’s far from that for me.” Louis rose off the futon, knees shaky, “I’m gonna go grab a change of clothes out of my car.”

Louis laid utterly still on the backseat of his 99’ Honda. Legs bent, sweaty hands pressed together under his ear, and eyes boring into the black leather. The flickering of an overhead street light lulling him back into another fitful slumber.

* * *

Louis spent two days sleeping in his car. Two days of showering at the rec center and switching between his school sweatshirt and his extra-large white t-shirt that was starting to look dingy in certain spots. His black skinny jeans and vans were holding up for the most part.

On the third day, a Tuesday, he realized that he didn’t have his vocab cards for his A&P class. He spent the entirety of his Chemistry seminar plotting a way to make sure he wouldn’t run into Harry. The plan made sense all the way up until he would walk through their room door. It was a gamble because if Harry was there, Louis was almost positive he would kill him.

“Lab on Thursday, please dress appropriately!”

Louis’ unfocused gaze locked onto Professor Green, whose bushy gray brow was arched downward. When the elderly man’s cloudy blues rested on him, he made quick work of packing up his belongings. Following the flow of rushing students, he headed towards the shuttle stop. His mind was so busy analyzing the outcomes of Harry being at their dorm room he didn’t notice Niall waving at him sporadically.

“Earth to Louis!”

He startled, “Oh, Niall.”

“Hey man, where you coming from?”

Louis used his head to motion toward the building behind him, “Chemistry.”

“Yuck, science is gross, that’s why I’m in culinary.”

Louis smiled, “To each their own.”

Niall’s head bobbed, “Definitely.” He adjusted his backpack, “Where you headed now?”

“Dorm.”

“I’m glad you and Harry worked things out.”

Louis caught himself from revealing that he’d lied and hadn’t patched up his situation with Harry. “Mhmm, yep, all good.”

Niall grinned, turning around to follow the line of people getting on the short blue and white bus. “Harry’s a good guy, he was still pretty torn up about what he did when I saw him a few minutes ago.”

Louis stilled, sitting down slowly as he watched Niall fiddle with his iPhone. “You saw Harry just now?”

“Yeah, we’re in the same psychology class.” The blonde pulled out a bag of lays, three thin chips pushed passed his lips.

Louis watched him chew with an open mouth for far too long before he turned to look down at his shoes, “That’s cool. I’m planning to take psychology next Spring.”

Niall belched, the girl on Louis’ left side nose scrunching in disgust, “Cool, take it with Thompson, he’s so laid back, and very unconventional.”

“Unconventional in what way?”

“Makes you think about the shit we don’t want to think about, especially when it comes to classifications and hierarchy within them.” Niall offered up some of his chips; when Louis declined, he ate four himself and continued talking. “Like today, He made us think about people who date within their second gender, so like, alphas with alphas and omegas with omegas.”

“How we as a society have decided that those relationships are deemed ‘going against biology’ when honestly, it’s just psychological. We want to _think_ there’s something wrong because we don’t understand it.”

Louis looked at Niall through his peripheral, “What do you think.”

“Oh fuck, what was it that you said just a minute ago?” Niall snapped his fingers twice, grunting in frustration, “Shit, uh, yeah…to each their own.”

“Same here,” Louis said, smiling at Niall, who was too busy tipping back the empty bag of potato chips to return the gesture. “Love is Love.”

Louis was so wrapped in thought about his conversation with Niall that after he unlocked his dorm room door, he thought nothing about pushing inside. Louis had been holding his chemistry book and notepad, but they dropped from his grip instantaneously at what he turned and saw.

Harry was stroking his cock, his knot glistening in the dim sunlight as it throbbed. He had a pair of Louis’ briefs, which he assumed were dirty, pressed to his bearded face. The alpha was so lost in pleasure that Louis’ entrance into the room went unnoticed.

Louis should’ve left, made a quiet exit, and took what he witnessed to his grave, but he just _couldn’t_. He was transfixed on Harry’s steady stroke up and down his thick shaft, his boxers pulled down just below his drawn-up balls. The shake in his chest as he yanked on his member made Louis’ mouth water.

Louis had never had sex, hadn’t even had the opportunity to fool around aimlessly with a love-drunk teenager in his hometown because of his _problems_. But right now, standing here watching Harry tug slowly at his leaking prick, he wanted nothing more than to wrap his mouth around the nine-inches of thick length.

He whimpered.

Harry’s eyes flew open. Dark, lustful, orbs tinged in black stared back at him, a deep growl making Louis’ knees tremble, “You should go.”

Louis watched as Harry’s ministrations upon his dick didn’t ease up, and the heady gaze from glazed green eyes making his insides flutter. “I can’t.”

“Come here, jellybean,” Harry ordered, voice thick and guttural as he pleasured himself.

He preened under the attention, backpack sliding off his shoulders slowly on his ascend to the twin XL that held the naked Adonis. He sat on the end of Harry’s mattress, hanging halfway off the edge. His hand, pressed into the downy comforter, could easily feel the heat radiating from Harry’s right leg.

Up close, Louis could make out every vein and prickle of brown hair traveling all over Harry’s cock and balls. It had a purple tint to the bulging head, and Louis wanted to suck on it like it was his favorite flavored lollipop. “I still don’t like you,” he whispered softly.

“Okay,” Harry grunted, pink tongue licking over his lips before retreating back into his agape mouth, which was letting loose breathy pants. “I want to fuck you,” he bit into his bottom lip, “I think I’ve wanted to fuck you from the moment I saw you.”

“Are you going into rut?” Louis questioned; eyes still preoccupied with watching Harry jack-off.

“Yes.”

When he finally let his clammy hand press into Harry’s bushy calf, the alpha’s movements stuttered, and he growled again. “Let’s be clear, I am alpha.”

Louis’ bodily instincts wanted him to fight Harry on the title, whether if he felt like one or not, he was still an alpha. Having his dominance tested still made his hairs bristle in disagreement.

“Look at me,” Harry instructed, his alpha voice, having an effect on Louis to the point his head rose on its own accord. He was somewhat unwillingly giving Harry his undivided attention. “I. Am. Alpha—Do you understand?”

He thought ignoring the voice within him would be hard, “Yes alpha,” He mewled tenderly. Not so hard after all.

Harry’s knot grew, and Louis’ mouth felt like sandpaper. They were both staring at different things—Louis at Harry’s dick and Harry at Louis.

“You should undress,” Harry suggested, his fist squeezing the tip of his cock.

Louis withdrew his hand from Harry’s body, the cold filling in where the warmth had once been. “I-I…I’m scared, I’ve never—”

“Neither have I, it’ll be a first for both of us,” Harry reassured, unoccupied hand reaching out to rest against Louis’ jittery thigh.

Louis let what he was about to commit to doing settle in his bones, and he stood up abruptly. This wasn’t anything _new_ to Harry, and that really rubbed Louis the wrong way. He didn’t care that it would be their first time as two alphas. He cared that this was just a quickie fuck for Harry. Louis was finally reeling with the fact that he wanted Harry a lot more than Harry wanted him. This wasn’t just a scratch he wanted to itch.

“I-I’m gonna go tell Niall you need a rut room; I don’t want to do this anymore.” His departure frantic, eyesight so fuzzy as he moved down the hallway that he kept a damp hand against the wall.

When he approached the door adorned in an Ireland flag, he knocked quickly, “Niall!”

Disheveled blonde hair and drowsy blue eyes were what Louis noticed first. “Lou? Everything okay?”

“Harry’s going into rut.”

The disoriented expression immediately vanished, and he hurried back into his dorm room, “Thanks, did he seem very far gone when you found him?” He spoke over his shoulder.

Louis blushed, eyes averting to the popcorn ceiling, “Uh, no, he was just…antsy.”

“Stay in here, the last thing I want is for you two to have another square off. This kind of explains your last fallout.”

Louis was past the point of trying to explain to Niall that what he thought he knew about him and Harry was far from that. Considering that he just walked out on the guy when he was holding his leaking cock in his hand, it was _definitely_ far from that.

“Yeah, maybe.”

* * *

He spent the entirety of Harry’s rut and then three days after sleeping in his car. Even though he knew Harry wouldn’t be in the dorm room, he still couldn’t work up the courage to be in there with the knowledge of what transpired between them hanging over his head. A few times during Harry’s _absence_ , he’d go in for a change of clothes or school books. Without fail, he would blush profusely, intent on keeping his eyes off Harry’s side of the room.

On the third night, Niall had caught him in the café getting a to-go plate, and taken it upon himself to walk back with the freshman, all the way to their hall. That’s why Louis was currently hiding out in one of the two study rooms placed on their floor.

“Uh, dude, are you going to be in here long?” A lanky beta asked, a group of four other people behind him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Louis spoke hastily, gathering his trash and scurrying out, head low to avoid the gazes.

“Are you stalking me Tommo?”

Niall.

Louis laughed despite not being too happy with seeing the Irishman. “Maybe.”

“I was actually headed to your dorm anyways,” Louis eyed the thin stack of papers in Niall’s hand.

“Psych notes for Harry,” Louis mumbled, stomach knotting up. It was inevitable.

“I’m the best RA.”

Louis chuckled, pressing his room key in the keyhole, mind flashing back to the last time he was here. “The absolute best, Nialler.”

Harry was in the shower when they entered, and Louis didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. When Niall sat the papers on Harry’s cluttered desk and left, Louis counted it as a curse. He had nowhere to go, so he slid under his covers in his clothes he’d been wearing since eight this morning and tried to fall asleep, or at least fake it good enough for Harry not to confront him.

Harry was quiet when he stepped back into their room. The air took on the faint smell of Axe body wash, and the steam wafting in snuck under Louis’ comforter and settled on his ankles.

“Are you awake?”

“…”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped or violated you in any way that made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.” Louis found himself saying, even though he would have rather just kept fake sleeping.

Harry shuffled around, and then Louis felt his bed dip behind his back. A large, thick hand pressed into his shoulder, and he shivered. “It’s not okay, I crossed a line, and I knew my rut was coming and should’ve planned for it better.”

“I understand.”

“Also, I want to stress that I do _not_ like alphas or want to be with an alpha. So, if you were worried I’d constantly hit on you or something, I can lay those worries to rest. I just thought you wanted to have a quick fuck, and again, I’m so fucking sorry, god, just thinking about what all I said is making me fucking cringe.”

“Harry, it’s fine,” Louis rolled his shoulder, pushing the warm hand off his body, “It’s in the past, so let’s leave it there—okay.”

“Yeah okay, cool.” Harry rose, moving back to his side of the room, “Oh, and I got you these.”

Louis flinched at the share size bag of starburst jellybeans dropped down in front of his face. “Thanks.”

“Of course, jellybean.”

* * *

It was pretty normal after the jellybean exchange. Louis was so busy getting into a good school schedule, and Harry was busy doing whatever, that they rarely spent any time in the same vicinity. Midterms were a week away, so most nights, Louis was holed up in a study room at the library. Since it was open 24-hours, he’d bring a small blanket and pillow that fit in his duffle bag and sleep there instead of driving back to the dorms.

“Yes, may I please get a venti hot chocolate with whip cream.”

“Sure, that’ll be 3.75.” The barista said, large brown eyes watching Louis before averting to something behind him. “Wow, if it isn’t Harry Styles, you never come to the library.”

Louis handed over the money and forced himself not to turn around. Things were fine between them, but since realizing his feelings for the other alpha, and also how against A/A couples Harry was, he would rather keep his distance.

“Let’s just say a certain omega friend of yours convinced me to study here for a change,” Harry replied, his strong voice washing over Louis.

“Brandon’s got you wrapped around his finger, you two are disgusting.”

Louis moved over; eyes downcast as he fiddled with the bottom of his black beanie covering the top-half of his ears. Harry couldn’t be dating someone, he would’ve seen them by now, or maybe it was new. Either way, Harry was talking to an omega, something Louis was not.

“You’re disgusting.” He quipped, “I’m gonna get the usual, and he wants a chocolate cake pop, I think.”

“No H, I said I wanted a chocolate chip cake pop, and a small chai tea latte, you never listen.”

“I saw you walk in, just wanted to fuck with you.”

“Asshole.”

Louis plunged his fists into the front pocket of his sweatshirt, thumbs rolling around each other as he waited. He hoped that Harry wouldn’t realize his presence, a small shudder at the idea of being put through unwanted semantics of meeting the omega Harry was currently courting.

“Louis! Venti hot chocolate with whip cream?” A petite boy yelled, smiling at a wide-eyed Louis who was focused more on the person behind him hearing than on the boy telling him to ‘enjoy’.

He grabbed his beverage and turned to leave when Harry stepped in front of him with a broad smile, his five o’clock shadow seemingly thicker. His arm was hung over a short, smiling man who was absolutely gorgeous. His sandy-brown skin was dotted in freckles, glimmering gray eyes, and thick russet curls that brushed the top of his shoulders. His hair molded perfectly around his face. Louis’ left eye twitched.

“Hey man, what’s up!” Harry said giddily, “I swear I hardly ever see you now.”

“Midterms, just getting prepared,” Louis spoke, eyes pinned on the shelves crowded in Starbucks mugs and tumblers.

“Yeah, Harry,” The omega eased, pushing his hip into Harry’s, “Not everyone can just study the night before and wing it.”

“Hush you,” He muttered, pulling on a tightly wound coil of hair, “That’s cool man, just glad to know you’re alive.”

When the omega giggled, Louis’ brain short-circuited back to the night of their first fight, this was _that_ omega, and he didn’t know how to feel about that information. His body, overcome with dread, was a clear indication he didn’t feel right.

“I’ve gotta go, see you around,” Louis stated quickly, walking around the couple. He almost tripped over his footing when he caught what the omega had to say about him.

“You were right, he’s defin—.”

“Shh, BB.” Harry scolded quietly.

Louis swallowed the lump growing in his throat, focusing his energy on the warmth radiating from the white paper cup in his hand. Ignoring the panic accumulating in the darkest folds of his mind and the jealousy forming in his churning gut.

He spent thirty minutes not even working, mind fixated on trying to understand how he could’ve handled the situation better. Wondered why he was more bothered by Harry’s arm slung over the other boy instead of the fact they had spoken about him in private.

“Hey, would it be cool if we shared this study room? It’s packed literally everywhere, and I just need some peace and quiet.”

Louis stared up at the boy standing in the doorway. He was olive-toned and pretty, a face that reminded him of a Greek god, hazel eyes that gleamed and slicked jet-black hair, a few strands that hadn’t stayed, hung partially in his right eye.

“Of course.” Louis said, smiling at the boy as he entered, “M’Louis.”

“Zayn, omega.”Times were different and a lot more liberated, but it was society norm for omegas specifically to voice their classification to limit discrepancies. 

Louis wanted to avoid revealing himself. Having to deal with them going through the cycles of disbelief and feigned disgust wasn’t something he looked forward to. Except, it was the moral thing to do. “Uh, alpha.”

He was braced for the usual rejection. “Cool. I’m a freshman, I did a gap year, so I’m technically a year behind, but hey, it’s college.”

He deflated, wall falling slowly, “That’s cool, I’m a freshman too, originally from Oregon.”

“What made you come to Texas?” He was pulling out his laptop and books when he asked.

“I don’t know. Change of scenery and weather, I guess.”

“I want to move to Canada, but my alpha wants us to move to Hawaii.” Zayn booted up his laptop, a small frown crossing his face, “I’m tired of the heat.”

Louis chuckled, opening his textbook and binder, “I feel there’s no true medium. No one can ever truly decide.”

“That is so true. What’s your major?”

“Nursing.” He held his breath once again, awaiting the disproval.

“Awesome, I’m a Secondary Education English major with a minor in digital arts. I’m hoping I’ll be able to start an art club wherever I end up teaching. What kind of nursing?”

“Pediatrics, how long have you been doing Art?”

“Since I was seven, I wanted to be an artist up until the fifth grade. We were assigned buddies in lower grades and were in charge of helping them around the school, and with their homework, that influenced me.”

“That’s great. I was in a program in high school that was for students who wanted to go in the medical field, and I enjoyed the two days we went to the Pediatrics ward the most.”

Zayn smiled, “Glad I met you.”

“Same here.” Louis’ blush made Zayn’s smile grow in size.

They worked in silence for the most part, every now and then starting up another conversation or helping each other throughout there work. Louis didn’t want to jinx this, but he was pretty confident in a blooming friendship.

Around one in the morning, a broad-shoulder male with a buzzcut and full beard stepped into their study room. He smiled hugely at Louis, placing the drink and bag from Dunkin’ down on the tabletop and extending his hand.

“Hey man, I’m Liam.”

He smiled, “Louis.” Shaking twice before releasing.

“You two shouldn’t be here all alone, not safe.” Liam was still smiling, the obvious tone of his comment meant to be funny.

“Liam, you shouldn’t prejudge someone’s classification,” Zayn scolded, slapping at the male’s stomach, “Louis’ an alpha.”

His eyes widened not in disbelief but in clear regret, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry!”

Louis chuckled, “It’s fine, you aren’t the first, the first to look apologetic, but not the first to make the mistake.”

Liam tried to smile, but it wasn’t at all convincing, “Still dude, my bad.”. He opened the white bag covered in pink and orange D’s and placed an egg and cheese croissant, along with a baggie of glazed munchkins in front of Zayn. “Brain food for my studious mate.”

“Thanks alpha,” Zayn muttered, his blush either from embarrassment or adoration.

“If I’d known he’d made a friend, I would’ve brought more.”

Louis laughed lightly, lifting his lunchbox filled with snacks, “I’m all good to go.”

“Awesome, well, I just came to drop this off. I’m gonna stop by Azalea to see the guys, and then I’ll be back to pick you up.”

When they kissed, Louis stared only at his laptop screen, “Thanks babe, love you.” Zayn said, smiling until he couldn’t see Liam’s body anymore.

“How long have you two been together?” Louis pondered.

“We met our last year of high school, he’d just moved to our town, and he was the biggest dork ever.” Zayn laughed, “He walked into biology with the biggest smile on his face and said, ‘Hi everybody I’m from Idaho, yes, I-da-ho’ and the entire class laughed. It was no surprise he became popular after that.”

Louis laughed heartily, wiping under his watery eyes, “That’s hilarious.”

“Yeah, and I think I knew right then, but we didn’t start dating until after I got back from Paris, that’s where I went for my gap year, we actually just courted and mated this past summer.”

“That’s nice, I’m happy for you two.”

“Thanks, what about you?”

“Oh, I don’t…I’m not.”

Zayn giggled softly, “Hey man, it’s cool, no worries.”

“I just, I’m a bit _abnormal_ as you can tell, so relationships are slightly more difficult to come by.”

Zayn’s face was blank as he looked over at Louis, “No you’re not.”

“Thanks but—”

“No buts dude, I’m not gonna let you put yourself down, everyone has a mate, it’s what the alpha gods and omega goddesses intended.”

“Yeah, I get all that, I took A/B/O dynamics in high school.” Louis laughed in a self-deprecating manner, “But it doesn’t negate the fact that I’m not your _average_ alpha, so dating is just a tad bit harder.”

“You shouldn’t be with an omega who doesn’t appreciate your differences anyways, so fuck anybody who points it out to you.”

Louis wanted to cry, but that wouldn’t be very alpha-like of him, so he smiled from ear-to-ear instead, “Thanks, it means more than you know.”

“Of course, and for the record, you’re by far the coolest alpha I’ve ever met.”

* * *

“How about once midterms are over we get together and have a night out?” Zayn asked, pushing his belongings back into his crossbody.

Louis perked up at the idea. They’d been studying together in the same study room for the last three days since their first meeting. Liam joined them once, but after that, it was just the two of them, and honestly, Louis preferred it that way.

“That sounds great, Z. Maybe we could go to the Tavern? I haven’t been out much since I moved here. If I’m completely honest, you’re my first friend.” Louis wanted to say in his entire lifetime, but that might scare the omega off, and he’d be back to square one.

“You’re not my first, but you are the first that I actually like being around.” Zayn chuckled softly, “That makes me sound horrible, but it’s the truth.”

“I’m just happy to have met you, that’s all.”

“Same. The Tavern sounds great. Liam might join us; he loves their karaoke machine.”

“You mean to tell me there is a possibility of me getting to see a drunk Liam singing horribly in a semi-crowded bar?”

“Not a possibility,” Zayn laughed, “A for sure thing. I would show you one of the countless videos on my phone, but it’s something you have to witness in person first.”

“I’m excited,” Louis said in amusement.

“He’ll probably invite a friend along too, it’ll be great.”

Louis clammed up at that simple remark, playing it off didn’t work out when Zayn stared at him knowingly. “It’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.” Louis expressed tiredly.

Louis hadn’t told Zayn much about his situation. What he had revealed had been clipped little footnotes that were sporadically placed amongst the many conversations they’d had since meeting one another. Zayn knew about his surplus of doctor visits; he knew that Louis struggled with anxiety, and if pushed to certain limits, could suffer dangerous panic attacks.

Zayn hadn’t forced it out of him or probed for answers; it was just obvious. Louis didn’t realize how much of an open book he was until Zayn would comment on something he did or said, leading him to confess some truths he’d only shared with his mother.

“You worry too much.”

“I think I don’t worry enough,” Louis muttered.

“I don’t get it, you’re fine around omegas and betas, who can be just as judgmental as alphas, so why do you get all anxious around them only?”

Louis thought of Harry. “I—I…”

“Just tell me, I know we’ve only been friends a short while, but I won’t ever put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable.”

Louis stared out the window. The sun was beginning to set, and amongst the tangerine orange and strawberry red hues, he almost thought he saw little speckles of forest green. “I like alphas.”

In the entirety of their brief friendship, Louis never saw Zayn look anything but nonchalant. When he confessed his dirtiest secret, the omega for once looked taken back. “Oh shit.”

Louis facepalmed, groaning in agony, “Please. I already feel awful, don’t make it weird.”

“No, no. Lou, it’s fine,” Zayn reassured, placing his hand on Louis’ shoulder. “I’m just surprised, but who you like is all your own…regardless of classification.”

“Zayn, what A/A couple do you know? Hmm.” Louis moved away from the light hold, “It also doesn’t help that it’s still very unclear on _what_ I am.”

“So the reason you’re so iffy around other alphas is not only because of your classification trouble but because you like alphas as well?”

Hearing it laid out plain as day made Louis’ eyes cloud with tears, “Mhmm.”

Zayn rose out of his chair and wrapped his arms around Louis’ shaking shoulders, “Please don’t cry, Lou, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, it’s not that Z, it’s the fact that I’m a useless alpha who can’t even like the right classification.”

Zayn squeezed him close, “Hey, stop that, you don’t ever talk bad about yourself. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be, and the gods make no mistakes.”

Louis pulled away, wiping at his eyes, “Dupes, according to scientific study, _are_ mistakes Zayn. It’s even in the biology books, in the awkward health classes that you’re forced to take senior year. I am not supposed to _exist_.”

“But you aren’t a dupe,” Zayn stressed, sitting back down in his chair, frowning at a distraught Louis.

“Oh yeah, you’re right, I’m worse.” Louis griped, hands shaky as he flipped through his chemistry book.

“I know you want to sit here and self-loath, but I like you all the same, it wasn’t your classification I clicked with, and it won’t be the defining factor of our friendship either.”

Louis’ red-rimmed eyes stared at Zayn, the hopefulness breaking through making Zayn smile, “Thank you Z.”

“Besides, you think you like alphas now, once you get to know the knotheads, you’ll change your mind.”

Louis actually laughed. Loud, short giggles falling past his lip in bundles, “Maybe so.”

Louis let their mutual silence be the aid in calming his wandering thoughts. He looked to the changing horizon and again noted the sprinkle of green. He should’ve mentioned it was a particular alpha that plagued his mind. 

* * *

Louis had just wrapped up day four of midterms when he ran into Harry and Brandon in the student center food court. They were huddled close together in the Chik-Fil-A line, and Louis wanted the floor to swallow him whole. He was hungry, and he felt confident in his chemistry exam that he was awarding himself with something other than café food.

“Lou!”

Louis relaxed at the sound of that voice, turning on his heels to find Zayn and Liam wrapped together, and walking his way made him smile. “Hey.”

“One more day of hell, and then we’re home free until December.” Zayn cheered, moving out of Liam’s hold, the alpha walking off to Chik-Fil-A, and sidling up next to Louis, “What are you doing?”

“Grabbing a bite to eat before my last class. You two?”

“Same, Liam’s done for today, I’ve got my digital arts midterm this afternoon, and then I’ll be done.”

They headed towards the Pizza Hut line, “We’re still on for Saturday, right?” Louis asked unsurely, looking at the hanging menu board to avoid Zayn’s gaze.

“Of course, I’ve already convinced Liam so it’s a done deal.”

“Awesome.”

After they grabbed their slices and drinks, they walked towards the many booths. Zayn looked around the crowded food court before sitting down. “He’s talking to Harry.”

Louis choked on the swallow of sweet tea he’d been intaking.

Zayn smiled despite looking concerned. “You okay?”

Louis looked around the room, letting his eyes rest on Liam talking animatedly with Harry and Brandon. “Not really.”

“Okayy,” Zayn said slowly, watching Louis with skepticism, “Explain it to me in condensed bullet points.” 

Louis looked down at the black laminate. “Alright, Harry is my roommate. Two big fallouts. He called me a dupe. We almost had sex. Pretty sure he despises A/A relationships. He’s dating Brandon, I think, and I have a huge crush on him.”

“Yikes.”

“You’re telling me,” Louis followed up. “Oh, and I’m pretty sure he told Brandon about how weird I am because I saw them together in Starbucks and overhead him about to say something about me.”

“Double yikes.” Zayn was already looking at the group that had moved to a table on the opposite end. “Harry and Liam have been friends since freshman year, they were roommates, and they had two classes together. He’s always been nice to me, never really had a problem. I don’t really know Brandon, but Harry doesn’t stay with one person for long, that’s coming from my year of knowing him.” 

“I watched him masturbate Zayn, I almost helped him through his rut.”

“Why does this storyline keep getting crazier and crazier.”

“I’ve been sleeping at the library to avoid any interaction with him.”

“Louis, I’m almost positive Liam’s going to invite him Saturday, so if you want me to make up an excuse to cancel—“

“No, it’s fine, I mean we’ve _technically_ patched things up, it’s just, I know that they’re a packaged deal. I can’t see myself sitting through the kissing, cuddling, and overall affection.” He shuddered at the images filling his mind.

“I’ll just tell Liam that I don’t like Brandon, and he’ll convince Harry not to bring him.”

“I don’t know Z, I hate to drag you in my mess.”

“We’re friends. Besides, I want you there, and I only want you to be there if you’re comfortable.”

Louis looked over at the doting couple once more, and watching Brandon stick a waffle fry past Harry’s lips made his stomach drop, “Thanks Z, I hope this doesn’t make me a bad person.”

“It doesn’t.” Zayn took a bite out of his cheese slice, chewing slowly before swallowing, “Besides, I guarantee they don’t last.”

“You guarantee.” Louis parroted, munching on his own slice of pepperoni.

“Harry hasn’t found what he’s looking for, and he’s ‘dated’ a good amount of omegas. So _maybe_ it isn’t an omega that he needs to help settle him down.”

“Quit bullshitting,” Louis grumbled, corners of his downturned mouth glistening with grease.

“I’m not. I’m just making an observation, that’s it.” Zayn handed Louis a napkin, pointed at his own mouth, before eating another bite, “Just…don’t lose hope.”

As Louis wiped at his mouth, he cast a quick glance in Harry’s direction. From his torso up, he was wearing a Nike crewneck, a white t-shirt slightly visible underneath. The tie-dye headband wrapped around his head was holding his short, chocolate curls back from his face. He was mid-laugh, which made Louis flush and drop his eyes to the pizza crust on his plate. “I’ll try.”

* * *

Friday night Louis ended up crashing at Zayn and Liam’s apartment off-campus. He thought back to the meet and greet with Niall and Harry in Azalea, and ‘Z’ and ‘Li’ made sense to him now.

“Do you know a Niall?” Louis asked Zayn, who was working on a clay sculpture on the narrow balcony.

“Mhmm. We aren’t necessarily friends, but the occasional run-in at parties made him a familiar face.” Zayn looked up at him for a brief moment, then his eyes were back on the pottery wheel. “Why?”

“We had this meet and greet at the dorm the first week, and he and Harry were talking about Harry moving in with a ‘Z and Li character’. Putting two and two together, I’m assuming those people are you guys.”

“Oh yeah, that was the plan before spring break, then we ended up deciding to mate early, and it would’ve just been weird and awkward with Harry living here.” Zayn made a dip in the center of the mound, “We felt bad because we hadn’t planned to mate until after college, but things happened, and it was a ‘now or never’ type deal for us.”

“I didn’t think about it until just now, I kind of have a tendency to tune out conversations that don’t include me. Since that’s happened all my life, it’s pretty much second nature at this point.” Louis rolled his own eyes, “God, I sound pathetic, sorry.”

Zayn chuckled, “It’s cool Lou, you just need to relax. Have you ever considered smoking?”

“Cigarettes?” Louis shook his head twice, “No, my aunt has lung cancer from smoking, so she kind of ruined it for me.”

Zayn cackled, bright eyes falling on a serious Louis, “No, not cigarettes, weed.”

“Zayn, you are my first friend. Before you, it was my ‘never wears white after Labor Day’ mother. So yeah, no, I have never smoked.”

Zayn actually pulled his hands away from the clump of clay to laugh this time. “Oh shit, you’re hilarious, Lou.” He took his foot off the pedal, dunked his hands twice in the bowl of murky water, and stood up. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Here.” Zayn pressed a white piece of rolled-up paper in Louis’ hand along with a rainbow lighter and sat back down on his stool. “Light it up.”

It was slightly damp, and Louis noticed a dark green substance sticking out from one end. “How do I…”

“Just light the end, and you want to suck the smoke in, hold it until it burns a little, and exhale through your mouth. You’ll cough, but that’s normal for a newbie.”

Louis did as Zayn instructed, and the burn was a lot more intense than he expected, but the spontaneity of what he was doing made it worthwhile. He probably wouldn’t smoke often, but the adrenaline of the experience right now on Zayn’s dimly lit balcony made him feel on top of the world.

“Smoke it halfway, that’s the only way you’ll truly feel something.”

Louis coughed harshly into his fist, eyes watering as he peered over at Zayn, still molding the mud-brown clay, “Feel what?”

“Good.”

“Okay.” Louis smoked the joint to the halfway point, and with Zayn’s guidance, stubbed out the burning end and placed it in the ashtray sat on the balcony railing. “Do you throw the rest away?” Louis looked into the ashtray; a handful of little white ends filled it.

“No, I get up enough roaches and burn a bowl. Maybe we can do one together Sunday night.”

“Why not tomorrow?”

“We’re drinking tomorrow, and you’re new to all this, so I don’t want to have you fucked up beyond repair on your first night out.”

“I should call my mom,” Louis stated, pulling his iPhone from his side pocket, the brightly lit screen making it hard to concentrate. “I called her on Tuesday, but that was so long ago.”

Zayn laughed, which made Louis laugh, and then they were both just laughing loudly. “You should not call your mother right now; wait until you’ve slept off the Mary Jane.”

“Slept off the Marry Jane? Who’s Mary Jane?” Louis asked, blues so doused in red that Zayn was somewhat mesmerized.

“She’s someone your mom needs to know nothing about,” Zayn replied, wiping his hands on the dirty towel underneath his chair and ushering Louis back inside. “Go take a shower, it’ll help you relax even more. Liam’s bringing tacos.”

Louis let Zayn push him into the bathroom, his overnight bag and towel pushed into his arms. “I love tacos.”

Zayn was still laughing at him, but not in a way that was meant to be mean. “Goodness, you’re going to be fun to observe tonight.”

The shower had definitely been refreshing, but it also made him think about Harry. Thinking of the alpha lead to his cock standing to attention and his blush filled face staring down at his _little soldier_. He was small all over his body, but mostly in his penis size. It reminded him of an undergrown zucchini, many days of his adolescence spent in anger at his shortcomings. It was why he never delved into masturbating, and with no rut or heat happening every six months, he rarely paid the member any attention.

Except now, as he let nimble fingers push at the soft, hairless flesh just above his cock, he blamed the weed for all the attention he was giving it. Harry’s cock from days back at the forefront of his mind, mouth-watering as he thought about his thick knot. He wrapped his cockhead in a loose fist, breath hitching at the initial pressure. He focused on the pulsing of his cock running through his palm, up his arm, and seeming to fall in line with his heartbeat. This feeling was so new to him that he couldn’t help but yank at his dick in a rapid motion, hot water easing his glide.

“Oh Harry,” He mumbled breathily, “Oh, Plea— _Harry_.”

He whimpered pitifully, his backside clenching for something not there. He wanted to put his finger over his pucker like he’d done one summer at his grandparent’s beach house. He’d been seventeen then and scared about what feeling good back there meant as an alpha.

But he _needed_ it, and with relief hanging in the distance, he allowed his unoccupied left hand to slither down his ass. Fingers diving between his cheeks and tentatively rubbing his middle finger quickly over the wet rosebud.

He came.

With spotty vision, he grabbed hold of the thin shower curtain to steady his wavering body. White oozed from his cock and down the shower drain, right hand still squeezing out what it could. He knew right now he wouldn’t overthink what he’d just done because he was way too high, but tomorrow would come, and it would eat at him until he dealt with it.

“How was your shower?” Zayn asked as the three of them sat cross-legged around the coffee table eating the tacos Liam had brought back.

Louis moved what he’d been chewing to his left cheek, covering his mouth as he spoke up. “It was great, water pressure is so much better than at the dorm.”

“One day I’ll give you a whole one to smoke by yourself,” Zayn added, smiling at Louis as he took a bite out of a hard taco.

Louis laughed genuinely, “Okay.”

Liam was occupied with watching Breaking Bad, but still managed to say, “I see Zayn has already started your corruption.”

“Seems like it.” Louis replies, smiling at Zayn who’s face was in feigned shock. “But it’s good for me.”

Zayn winked, “Damn straight.”

Liam finally looked back at them, smiling slightly, “So you ready for your first night on the town Louis?”

Louis watched Zayn roll his eyes before he giggled and turned his head Liam’s way, “Super excited to see you do karaoke.”

“You sound just like Harry. He’s always excited for me to embarrass myself.”

Louis managed not to freeze at hearing that name, instead, letting his eyes focus on his half-eaten soft taco.

“He’s not bringing Brandon, right?”

Liam frowned, “We already had this discussion, and I told you no. Did Brandon do something to you, and you’re just not telling me?”

“Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t.” Zayn sang. “All that matters is that you listen to your omega, so you’re not sleeping out here on the couch.” Zayn patted the loveseat behind him.

Liam blushed, “Yes omega.”

Louis watched them, and he felt almost like he was intruding, but he just couldn’t pull away from what was unfolding because he wanted that. He wanted it all, the apartment and silly arguments that weren’t really arguments at all. He wanted to sit around their coffee table, eating tacos, and watching Breaking Bad. He wanted Harry.

“He told you not to invite him, because I have a crush on Harry, and he’s just a good first best friend,” Louis revealed.

“Louis, no!” Zayn chided with surprise, “He’s kidding alpha.”

“No he isn’t.” Liam was staring between the two men, “Someone care to elaborate or explain?”

Zayn was still looking very against telling the truth, so Louis took over. “I like alphas, Liam. There is more pertaining to this, I think, but I’m not too comfortable sharing that with you just yet. But, yes, I like Harry, and I asked Zayn to do me a favor, and he’s innocent in all of this.”

Liam nodded slowly, thinking over what Louis had just said. “Understandable.” He glared playfully at Zayn, who had a blush blooming on the tops of his cheek, “My little mastermind.”

“Alpha,” Zayn whined, hiding behind his hands. “It was supposed to stay between Louis and me.”

“Sorry, Z,” Louis whispered with a light giggle.

“Between us three, Harry hasn’t done anything with him; if he had, we would all know by now. He’s a _bragger_ to put it lightly.”

Louis frowned, “Is that suppose to make me feel better?”

Zayn slapped Liam across the arm, “Happy thoughts, jackass.”

“Sorry Lou, I can also add that he only does that to omegas he’s not serious about.”

Louis was stumped. The dumbfounded gaze they placed on Liam had the alpha turning crimson. “So couldn’t we also say he’s getting pretty serious with Brandon,” Louis suggested.

“He’s not, because if he were, Brandon would be going tonight. When I told him not to bring him, he wasn’t even phased.” Liam finished with a satisfied smile.

“Thank you Liam,” Louis said, smile a bit distant.

“Something’s wrong, what is it?” Zayn said.

Louis shrugged nonchalantly, picking at the leftover lettuce and cheese on the crinkled cellophane. “None of this matters in the end. Harry is an alpha, and so am I. He’s not…”

“What did I say about losing hope.” Zayn scolded, pinching his cheek.

“It has nothing to do with losing hope Z, it’s about him not wanting to date an alpha.” Louis reiterated.

Liam was also frowning, and Louis didn’t need him to say anything to know he understood what he meant. “Just think about it, babe.” He added on to Louis’ last comment.

Watching Zayn’s face morph into a frown made Louis’ stomach dip in remorse even more. The omega finally understood why it wouldn’t work. It wasn’t because Louis wouldn’t try his hardest and keep his head held high, it was because Harry just _wouldn’t_.

* * *

Louis enjoyed the Tavern more than he thought he would. The people were friendly, and everyone was loudly singing along with the brave person standing on the makeshift stage, belting their own rendition of a featured karaoke song. Liam had already gone up three times, two of those instances, he was buzzed and slurring his words, but the crowd cheered him on.

Harry hadn’t shown up yet. Anytime Louis did think about the man appearing, his cheeks would flare a deep crimson, and images from his shower filled his mind. To keep himself from freaking out, he busied himself with trying different drinks at the bar with Zayn.

He’d had two screwdrivers, four shots of vodka that tasted like whipped cream, and he’d let Zayn convince him into trying a ‘Black Russian’ which was vodka and coffee liqueur. Not his favorite. The buzz he felt in his body made him giggle. His fingertips tingled, the entirety of his body was cold, but his face felt warm.

“I like the- _hic_ -screwdriver the best,” Louis smiled at the bartender, “May I please have- _hic_ -another.”

Gray eyes scrutinized him before turning to make his drink. He watched with rapt attention, so invested in the task at hand that he didn’t notice Harry walking up to Liam and pulling him into a hug.

“Hey,” Zayn bumped Louis’ shoulder, “You wanna sing ‘Girls Just Want to Have Fun’ with me?”

Louis looked down at his replenished glass, “But- _hic_ -my drink.”

Zayn laughed, pulling on Louis’ arm, “Come on, I’ll buy you another after.”

He and Zayn were three songs in, they’d been brought Jell-O shots from Liam, and before handing the vodka-infused gelatin over, he begged Zayn to sing one more song. They were now belting ‘Barbie Girl’ at almost two in the morning.

They were reaching the chorus when Louis turned to the opposite side of the room and finally noticed Harry standing at a high-rise table with Liam. “Harry’s- _hic_ -here.” He said into the microphone instead of the next batch of lyrics.

As the two alpha’s, and everyone else in the bar for that matter laughed, Louis ducked his head in drunken embarrassment. Zayn nudged him under his chin and encouraged him to keep singing, which he did but only because of his liquid courage.

The bartender chuckled at Louis as he placed another screwdriver in front of him, “This one’s on the house.”

Louis’ face probably resembled a ripe tomato as he sipped on the alcoholic beverage, “Thanks.”

“I never knew I needed to hear ‘Barbie Girl’ with hiccups involved.” Harry sat down on the barstool next to a flustered Louis, “But you did an awesome job, jellybean.”

He turned around on the barstool, “I made a fool out of myself.” turning back briefly to take another gulp of the cold drink, swishing it around before swallowing, “I’m pretty was- _hic_ -ted.”

“That you are,” Harry chuckled, pushing Louis’ bang off his right eyelid, “But can I just say you are by far the cutest drunk I’ve ever seen.”

Louis’ eyes were big and glassy, an iridescent blue as he looked up at Harry, “Liar.”

The beer that’d been sweating in Harry’s hand was chugged down. “Nah,” He said, leaning forward to place the empty glass on the bar top.

Louis closed his eyes on instinct before snapping them back open and staring at the neon Budlight sign instead. “Sorry, feeling a bit… _off_.”

“How about we get you back to the dorm, so you know, you can prepare yourself for the massive headache that will be awaiting you in the morning.”

Harry’s smile was big and genuine as he held his hand out for Louis’. In this short moment, with his mind unsettled and body sluggish, he imagined they were just one of the millions of couples going home after a fun night out.

They waved at Liam and Zayn getting into an uber right in front of theirs, and he rested his head on Harry’s lap on the ride back to campus. He even let Harry run his fingers through his chestnut strands, drawing him into a peaceful doze.

“Jellybean, let’s go.” Harry lifted Louis out of his lap. The smaller male whined pitifully but managed to pull himself out the Camry and towards the entrance of Azalea. “Want me to carry you?”

Louis was lifting his arms before the words could form in his mouth, “Yes, please.”

It took nothing for Harry to lift Louis into his arms, “So light.”

“Mmm, hu- _hic_ -sh.” Louis mumbled, forehead pressed into the left side of Harry’s flushed neck, “M’big and strong.”

Harry’s laughter was more to himself than anything, “Of course, Lou."

When they shuffled into their shared living space, Louis nuzzled closer to Harry’s neck. “Cold.”

“That’s how we like it.”

“I know- _hic_ -still cold.”

“How about a shower.”

Louis was way too far gone, and the alcohol soaking into his body made him feel a lot more careless. “Toge- _hic_ -ther?”

Harry was silent, and Louis knew he was probably overstepping, but he couldn’t make his drunken mind analyze that fact. “I’m not as drunk as you, so I should say no, but I’m just tipsy enough to say yes.”

Louis smiled in his hiding nook, “Woohoo!” was the soft reply he gave.

The water wasn’t nearly as hot as Zayn’s, but Harry was wrapped behind him super close, a burning furnace against his back. He’d hooked his chin on Harry’s forearm, the spray of watering splashing up into his eyes due to his lack of height.

“Can we switch? I keep getting water in my eyes.”

Harry laughed, “You do realize if we switch, you won’t get any water at all?”

“I’ll drown alpha,” Louis told Harry with so much sincerity.

Harry gripped into Louis, bringing the male closer, so close Louis’ ass was pressed ever so lightly to Harry’s groin. “Better?”

Louis was hyper-focused on the cock nudging at his ass crack. “Much better.”

They stood under the water in silence, the sound of the jet spray hitting the tile and their bodies echoing slightly. “Let me wash you up, okay.”

“Okay alpha.”

Louis felt Harry’s cock jerk against his right ass cheek. “You have to stop saying that.”

“Oh,” Louis frowned, “I apologize.”

Harry groaned again, removing his arms from around Louis and instead slathering a copious amount of his Axe body wash on his hands. “Never mind.”

“Okay alp—Okay.”

Harry massaged the soap into his shoulders first, ministrations that had him moaning quietly as large fingers kneaded and prodded his wet skin. When Harry’s hands covered his belly, his eyes popped open. It was almost like time was frozen as he concentrated on the fingertips pushing against his small pooch.

“Don’t play with my fat.” Louis chided.

Harry’s chin hooked over his right shoulder, fingers pushing at the stomach once more, “This is not fat.”

Louis kept quiet after that; he was even quieter when Harry’s fingers pressed into the flesh he’d only just touched yesterday in Zayn’s shower. He preferred Harry’s hands over his own.

“Touch me lower, please alp—Harry.” Louis pleaded in a whisper.

“Say it.”

“But you ju—”

“Say. It.” Harry stressed.

“Touch me, please, alpha.” Harry’s hand was significantly larger than Louis’ as he engulfed his cock. He couldn’t even see his bulging head in Harry’s grip, and that fact alone made him moan deeply. “Oh.”

“Fuck. You’re so _tiny_ jellybean.” Louis shied away from Harry’s grip, but Harry squeeze, and his entire body stilled, “My little alpha.”

Louis turned his head sideways, nose brushing Harry’s fuzzy cheek. “Yours?”

“Mhmm.” Harry spoke quietly, hand traveling up and down slowly, and occasionally rubbing over his nectarine-shaped knot, “Pretty little alpha, aren’t you.”

“Yes, alpha.” Louis breathed.

The billows of steam made watching Harry jerk him off a bit harder. He ended up resting his head back against the slippery shoulder and sighed in relief as the alpha pleasured him.

Harry’s eyes were lidded as he examined Louis’ mating mark that was a mirror resemblance of his. The ‘Α’ symbol for alpha singed into his honeyed skin and enclosed in a circle. He swiped his tongue across it, the taste of lemon, tart and sweet, covered his tingling taste buds. Harry sucked on the mark hard after that initial taste, and Louis’ body shuddered before he came.

“ _Oh_ ,” He breathed, miniscule fingers hovering over Harry’s hand that was still moving languidly across his sensitive penis, squeezing at his pulsing knot just beneath.

Still grappling over his orgasm, Louis allowed Harry to turn him around, the water hitting his cool back and making him shiver minutely. Then he was focusing on Harry’s lips pressed to his, the faint taste of Yuengling meshing with the leftover residue of his screwdriver.

“Can I touch you, alpha?” Louis asked quietly, hand already reaching for the thick cock poking into his groin.

The water temperature was steadily dropping from how long they’d been in. That didn’t stop Louis from falling to his knees, muddled mind not realizing he was touching the shower floor, and licking tentatively at Harry’s cockhead.

He leaned back to peer up at a clearly aroused Harry, the lukewarm water matting his hair to the back of his head, “I’ve never….”

Harry’s hand on the top of his skull was comforting, “Take your time, no rush.”

The first thing Louis noted about sucking dick, Harry’s in particular, is that he couldn’t take all of it. He would swallow down what he could in small increments before he was gagging. Tongue pressed flat to the underside, the throbbing vein like a beating drum in his mouth.

“Fucking _hell_ , you’re doing amazing, sweetheart, just…amazing.” Harry strained, bent fingers resting against Louis’ bobbing head, “M’close.”

The water had run cold, but Louis’ body still radiated a pleasant heat. His cheeks were flushed, glazed eyes somewhat incoherent as he sucked greedily at Harry’s member. Tiny hands, along with thin fingers prodding at the growing knot, the knot he wanted lodged inside of his pulsing hole.

He’d been so caught up in imagining being fucked on Harry’s knot that the sudden shot of cum to the back of his throat had him pulling back slightly, a startled choke bubbling up. It subsided as he swallowed Harry’s seed, sucking at the head lightly.

Harry pulled him back, a hiss falling from his bitten lips, “Shit jellybean, it's sensitive.” He helped Louis stand, swooping down for a kiss, his tongue dipping into the shorter man’s warm mouth. Spit, cum residue, and shower water mixing between their lips.

Harry pulled away and shut off the faucet, “Fuck, that water’s cold. Come on.”

Louis let himself be ushered into the room, the chill from their shower, and the one hanging in the air had him shivering uncontrollably. “Alpha,” he whined, “M’cold.”

“Hold on, Lou,” Harry muttered, draping a towel over Louis’ shoulders and tying one around his waist, “Let me just…”

Louis held the towel close, his shaking never ceasing as the incessant cold air encircled him. He watched Harry with intensity, droopy eyes lagging as they tried to keep up with the frantically moving man.

“Alpha,” Louis whispered once again, shifting from foot to foot as he waited, his patience for standing cold and naked in the middle of their dorm room thinning.

Harry was now moving the furniture about. “Patience.”

“Mmmm.” Louis hummed, drowsy eyes watching Harry position their dorm beds under the window, pushing them close together. He smiled.

Louis shuffled to the ends of the beds, leaning forward on the two posts now pressed together. Harry pulled on a t-shirt and briefs, searching around in his dresser again before pulling out a red crewneck and tossing it to Louis.

When it fell in his hands, Louis instinctively pulled it to his nose and inhaled the smell of teakwood and jasmine. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Harry stated, sliding under his comforter and then patting the spot next to him. “Now come.”

Louis, after pulling on the crewneck, dove under the crisp covers, snuggling under Harry’s arm and his head falling against the man’s bicep. “Please don’t hate me tomorrow.” He whispered, eyes already falling close.

Harry yawned, nose nuzzling at the wet strands atop Louis’ head, “Same goes for you.”

* * *

It was clear that instead of hating each other for what they’d done, they would mutually decide, without actually talking to one another, not to talk about it. Louis wanted to say something, but Harry’s face was filled with indifference. This contrite expression that made his own stomach coil.

He kept quiet instead, low eyes watching discreetly as Harry rushed around their room, getting dressed before leaving out the door in a flurry of constrained panic.

He sat around for ten minutes, and when he couldn’t sit around any longer, he got up to take some Tylenol to settle the headache thrumming in his temples. He forced himself to change out of Harry’s sweatshirt, tossing it reluctantly in the male’s hamper, throwing on a pair of his own clothes instead.

He texted Zayn to see about coming over, body so pent-up with nerves he was out the door before he read the message.

“So you two had _fun_ , and the morning after didn’t say anything to each other, even though you two woke up cuddling?” Zayn repeated slowly, amber eyes watching Louis munch on a ham and cheese hot pocket.

“Mhmm.” He swallowed his bite.

Zayn was eyeing him hard, “Be honest.”

“I’m falling in love with him, I mean, I have for some time now, but I think now that we did what we did, it’s a lot more… _intense_.”

“Do you regret anything?”

“No. I enjoyed everything. I was scared that he’d laugh at me since I’m a virgin, but he didn’t. I thought he would be weirded out by my penis, and he wasn’t.” Louis’ smile was delicate against his lips, “It was perfect.”

“Am I allowed to inquire about the penis comment?”

“No. Someday, but not today.”

“Okay.”

They didn’t say anything for a while. Louis ate the remainder of his hot pocket, and Zayn sketched doodles in his drawing pad while 3rd Rock from the Sun played in the background.

“What do I do now, Z?” Louis balled up his trash, smushing it between his hands, “I don’t want to go back to before.”

“Then don’t.”

* * *

Harry stayed gone for two days, and Louis didn’t have much time to think about his absence with classes and assignments due. It would only dwell on his mind when he was laid in their smushed together beds. The thought of putting them back how they were before didn’t seem right. He slept on Harry’s side, the alpha’s body scent what Louis drifted off smelling.

Despite the fact Harry was clearly avoiding him and the unavoidable, Louis was _happier_. He didn’t feel this inescapable dread hanging above him all hours of the day, and he found little reasons to smile.

When they finally collided, he’d just got back from his intro to theatre seminar. The alpha was slipping into a t-shirt, Louis catching a quick glimpse of his toned abs before they were covered by red fabric.

“You’re here.” Was all he managed to say at first, moving to his side of the room.

Harry’s jade eyes widened, the light trickling into the room shining over them; when they settled Louis looked away. “Uh, yeah, my night class got canceled.”

“Oh, lucky you.”

“Yeah.”

The silence was so cumbersome that Louis was fidgeting at his desk, he couldn’t see Harry from where he sat, and that bothered him in the worse kind of way. His laptop screen repeatedly blurred as he tried focusing on the image, a picture of him with his mom and Cecelia.

“Why are you movin’ around so much? Do you have to pee?”

He exhaled, turning his body catercorner, eyes meeting Harry’s back, “Where were you the last two days? I was worried.”

“Next door.”

“You said you wouldn’t hate me in the morning…you lied.”

Those were the words that had Harry turning to stare Louis’ way, “I don’t hate you.”

“Then why were you gone for two days?”

Harry stood, his narrowed eyes making Louis squirm and face his laptop. “Look at me.”

Louis’ turned immediately, chin pressed to his chest. He doesn’t understand how Harry’s alpha voice affects him, but he trumps it up to his body being on the fritz. “Sorry.”

Harry sighed, lifting Louis face then his body after, “Don’t apologize, I’m a dick, and I shouldn’t be using my AV on you. We aren’t mates, and even if we were, I still wouldn’t do that, because it’s so disrespectful and gross, I should be the one apolo—”

“Harry!” Louis interrupted with a short giggle, pushing the taller male back, his body falling down on the mattress behind him. “You’re rambling.”

Harry pulled the alpha in between his parted legs, “I left because I was scared. I’m still scared, but I was so miserable and guilty. I had to come back.”

“That’s weird because I’m the happiest I’ve ever been since moving down here.” Louis was pouting, and Harry just couldn’t take his eyes off the rosy lips.

Harry beckoned Louis even closer, pulling the alpha down to straddle his legs. He let his hands rest against thick thighs clothed in gray joggers. “I’ve lived here for twenty years, and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“Liar,” Louis uttered, hands bracketing Harry’s cheeks, fingertips running over his soft beard.

“I don’t think so.”

This kiss was different from the first. The most crucial difference was that they were both undeniably sober. Louis preferred kissing Harry sober over anything else because he could truly appreciate the alpha’s hands all over his body. This was a different type of intoxication.

“Please don’t leave again.” He whispered softly, blue eyes downcast as he stared hard at Harry’s mouth, “I was happy, but I wasn’t nearly as happy as I am now.”

“I promise jellybean.”

“Also, I would prefer we talk before we carry on with anything else.” Louis moved onto the mattress, sitting beside Harry, who was already staring at him with concern.

“Of course. Is it about last night?”

“Uh, sort of. I mean…I just.”

“I’m not weirded out by your penis and knot. I feel like that’s what you want to address.”

Louis shied away from Harry’s hand that went to lay on his knee, “I haven’t had a rut or heat either, and I…I suffer from anxiety attacks. I know you don’t like dupes, and I’m not sure if that’s what I am or not, but…”

“I said that shit to get under your skin, Lou. I was scared and in denial of how things went after I left out, and I’m so fucking sorry.” Louis finally let Harry pull him close.

“Dupes are people, and we shouldn’t even be using that word, they are what they want to be classified as. Regardless of what others say about your body, myself included, you need to remember that it is _your_ body.”

Louis’ cries were silent. Snot dribbling down the dip below his nose and into his mouth. “I’ve been to over thirteen doctors and seven different specialists. I saw a therapist for a week before my mom found out he wanted to prescribe me OI.”

“OI?” Harry asked, holding Louis close, rocking slightly.

“A hormone to jumpstart an omegas heat.” He sniffled.

“That’s fucked up.” Harry muffled into Louis shoulder, “How do you feel in the inside?”

“I dunno. I feel discombobulated most days, and other days I feel like I’m detached from myself altogether. It’s weird—indescribable.”

“Well,” Harry started, nuzzling softly into the supple skin, “How do you feel right now.”

“In control.”

“Good,” Harry whispered, kissing up Louis’ neck and over his wet lips.

* * *

“Pretty little alpha,” Harry soothed, hand thumbing into Louis’ slit, taking the bubbling pre-cum and running it down the shaft and over the small knot.

“Alpha, please,” Louis whined pitifully, his hands hovering over Harry’s shoulders.

“What is it, jellybean? What do you need?” Harry was still rubbing the pad of his thumb up and down Louis’ leaking cock.

“More. T-touch me more.”

Harry squeezed at the base of Louis’ shaft, “Here?”

“Mhmm.” Louis pushed his legs apart, “Somewhere else too…”

Harry’s eyes rolled around in their sockets, “Want me to fuck that pretty hole? Get you all loose and sloppy.”

Louis whimpered, high and needy, “Mhmm, want your knot alpha.”

“Fuck, jellybean, I’m gonna give it to you, but I want it to be special. Okay?”

“Soon?”

“Yes, soon.” Harry replied, bending over to suck at Louis cock shortly before pulling back again, “Shit, you smell so fucking good, like lemons.”

“I need something,” Louis cried out, his legs beginning to tremble as they spread further, “ _Please_.”

Harry heard Louis, and he was an avid lover who always wanted to deliver the best for his partner, but he just couldn’t _focus_. Lodged between Louis’ quaking thighs, his mind was so wrapped in the surrounding summery citrus. Completing the task of pleasuring Louis was far more complicated than he expected.

“I don’t…I can’t,” He started shortly, nose pushing into the plump flesh of Louis’ right thigh, “You smell.”

“Alpha!” Louis belted again.

Harry dipped lower, the intoxicating smell almost too much as he gazed at Louis’ glistening pucker.

He nudged at the hole, “What the—” his pointer finger retracted, the tip covered in a wet sticky dribble, the consistency familiar to the alpha but puzzling coming from Louis.

With a hesitant suck, he moaned in ecstasy, taste buds ignited in a subtle flavor of sweet lemon, “It’s _slick_.”

Louis’ shuddered, and like a broken floodgate, the substance began to ooze from him in rivulets. “Do something.”

Harry felt deranged as he sucked and licked at the rosebud in a starved manner. He pushed into the crevice, two fingers going smoothly without a hitch. “Shit, I wanted it to be special, but I’m going to have to put my knot in you.”

“Still special, just make it good alpha.” Louis whimpered, hands rubbing over Harry’s shoulders, then up into the short tufts of brown hair. “F-fuck me in a special way, alpha.”

“It’s gonna be so special,” Harry muttered, eyes fixated on his wet fingers plunging in and out of Louis cavity. “Knot you up real good alpha, that’s what you want, right?”

“Yes, _goodness_ , yes, I need it.”

Harry added a third, so entranced with how Louis’ hole was pulsing and fluttering open when he would pull out to watch it quiver. It was when he got up to his fist that he rolled his wrist around, the squelching like music to his ears. Never did he expect to see the day he was envious of his own fist; he found himself growling in frustration at it not being his knot.

“Lou, jellybean, do you want this?” Harry was looking up at a sex-dazed Louis, fist still lodged inside of the warm body. “You need to make sure you want this because I know you’re a virgin. I also just want you to know, it won’t be vanilla.”

Louis’ half-lidded eyes peered down, “What’s vanilla?”

“I’ll show you on the second round, but right now, I’m going to fuck the shit out of you.” Harry finally pulled his fist out of Louis, everything from his wrist down, gleaming, “Please tell me I can fuck you without a condom. I’m clean.”

Louis nodded frantically, his hands wrapping around his tiny cock and yanking twice. When he came, the white splashed up, and over his tummy, the surprise on their respective faces made them laugh.

“My horny little alpha, huh.”

“Mhmm.” Louis ran his fingers through his cooling cum, and placed it over Harry’s angry red dick.

Harry hissed, hand covering Louis’, “Fuck.”

“Please, alpha.”

Harry pushed down on his cock with his pointer finger, the heat from his dick meshing with the warmth of Louis slick made him groan. Louis was panting heavily, hair askew, and mouth ajar with a thin line of drool traveling down the left side of his mouth.

“You look stunning, jellybean.” Harry watched Louis’ mouth poise to say something, but with a mischievous smirk, he rammed his dick up to the point of his growing knot and covered Louis’ scream with his hand. “Shh.”

“I’m-I’m.” Louis rambled, hands shaking as he wrapped them around Harry’s neck.

Harry’s movements started off slow, little jabs up into the slippery entrance that had him wrapped into a vice-like hold.

“Why are you leaking slick? I don’t understand why you feel so fucking good for an alpha.” Harry heaved, the beads of sweat trickling down his back a brief focusing point for his jumbled thoughts.

“Dunno,” Louis breathed, unsteady eyes watching Harry who’d pushed his legs back, holding under the base of his knees. Harry was watching his cock travel in and out of Louis’ wrecked hole. “Want you to knot me though, give me pups.”

Harry’s hips stuttered, a quiet whimper tumbling out of his salivating mouth, “We’re too young, still in college.”

Louis whined, “Alpha.”

“Shhh,” Harry soothed, eyes still focused on his cock. The slick was in such great quantities that it was splattering onto the mattress, all over Louis’ ass cheeks, and Harry’s groin. “You’ll get them jellybean, my pups are all yours, okay?”

“Promise me,” Louis cried, “Promise that there mine, and only mine.”

Harry’s knot was catching, and he wanted to plunge his knot deep inside Louis’ battered hole. Wanted to mix his cum with Louis slick, but he also wanted to fuck Louis for eternity, never ceasing. “I promise alpha.”

Louis came on Harry’s promise. As the brunette watched the male beneath him convulse gently in orgasm, he finally pushed past the loosened ring and locked their bodies together. Load after load dumping into the sloppy mess that was Louis’ rosebud.

“Shit.” Harry huffed, breathing erratic as he stared down at Louis, still amid his own orgasm that was slowly tapering off. “You might just get those pups after all.”

Louis wore a giddy smile, a blissed-out face making Harry’s inner alpha preen. “Thank you, alpha.

* * *

When Harry’s knot deflated, he took special care of cleaning Louis up, and then the alpha fucked Louis again. Except this wouldn’t qualify as fucking, because Harry was going way to slow and kissing Louis way too often.

Through his quiet moans, Louis began to cry in bliss. As his tears ran down the sides of his face and onto the soiled sheets, he felt more comfortable in this body then he’d ever felt since he was sixteen.

“You’re beautiful,” Harry whispered a feather-light kiss to the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Absolutely stunning.”

“I-I’m so…so—” Louis couldn’t explain the exhilaration thrumming through him. As Harry rocked into his lithe body, he cried harder.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked attentively, “Are you sore? Sensitive?”

“Just…happy.” He lamented, tone wanton as he tossed his head back and forth softly, “Happiest I’ve ever…” delicate cries interrupting his flow of words.

“My sweet alpha,” Harry crooned, smiling big. His hands spread across Louis’ flushed chest, palms rising and lowering on each shallow breath.

Louis couldn’t decide which way he liked better. The first time was erotic and fast-paced, but now, with each slow thrust, he was forced to acknowledge how much he was beginning to love Harry.

“Yours.”

“All mine, all mine.”

Louis came, thick globs of ivory a stark contrast to his sun-kissed skin. Slick dribbling out around Harry’s knot. “Give it to me, please.”

Harry smirked, bending low and rubbing his scruff across Louis’ smooth cheek, pulling back to examine the reddish tint. “Give you what?”

Louis scowled before moaning at Harry pressing into his throbbing prostate. “Alpha.”

“Oh, right,” Harry said, and with one final push forward, lodged his knot into Louis for the second time. His cum drained from his body instantly.

He scooped Louis close, the gentle kiss to the man’s mating mark catching them both by surprise until Louis returned the gesture.

Harry buried his nose into the lemony smell of the mark that shouldn’t smell like anything at all. “Let’s not complicate this, please.”

“Okay.” Louis replied, even though ‘I Love You’ was sitting at the tip of his tongue.

* * *

They didn’t complicate things. They just had sex every night for the next month, and when Thanksgiving Break came, and Louis revealed he’d be going home for the holidays, they had sex four times the night before.

If scents were a thing between alphas, he would smell heavily of Harry, but they weren’t, so all he had to show for was the subtle limp in his walk.

“So things are good now, better?”

They were eating his favorite for dinner, lasagna. His mother had been peering at him skeptically ever since she picked him up from the airport.

“Yep. I’ve made friends and my roommate,” he blushed against his will, “uh, my roommate is great too.”

Her gaze was unsettling, the slow movement of her fork to her mouth, making him shift. “Louis William Tomlinson, I didn’t raise you to keep secrets.”

“I’m allowed to have secrets, mom, I’m an adult now,”

“You’re still nineteen, let's not push it.” She corrected. “You’re not telling me something.”

Louis thought about how much sex he’d had, and the warmth permeating from his neck made him feel slightly remorseful. “I’m not.”

“Louis.”

“Mom! I’m not. I told you that I’m doing fine, and things are great in Texas. Why are you being such a helicopter?”

“Because, my son, who a few weeks ago would call me crying most days, is smiling and looks the happiest I’ve ever seen him since he was in high school.”

She was frowning, but not in anger or upset, but puzzlement. It made Louis giggle softly, which turned into full out laughter. “Sorry. I’m just…”

“Happy.” She finished, a smile finally pulling at her red painted lips.

“More than happy.” He corrected, his face mirroring hers, “That’s all you need to know.”

* * *

Ambling into the dorm on Sunday, Louis wasn’t surprised to be met with nothing and no one. Their beds were still how they’d left them, and Louis whined happily. He’d loved being home with his mom, but he’d missed Harry terribly.

He sat around for a half-hour when the doorknob jiggled. He couldn’t decide on sitting or standing, so when the door pushed opened, he just leaned casually against the edge of his desk.

Brandon walked in first, that same agonizing giggle Louis was growing to despise the first thing he heard. Harry was smiling too, and he was clean-shaven, no beard for Louis to nestle against late at night.

“Oh, hi…Louis, right?”

Louis was still staring at Harry, and Harry was staring at Louis with a smile so big that he almost forgot about the omega watching them.

“Yea, Louis.” He mumbled, pushing past the both of them and out of the room.

_All good things must come to an end._

When Harry gripped into his waist and hugged him, the tears were already free-flowing. “Get off me.”

“We live in the same city, his car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back to campus.”

“You owe me no explanation. Uncomplicated, remember.” Louis’ monotone voice was bothersome to his own ears.

“That may be true, but I know you, and you overthink everything.”

Louis wiped his eyes and turned to peer up at a still smiling Harry, “Do not.”

“He’s leaving, I just wanted to give him back his notes.”

“Does he…”

“No, I haven’t told anyone about what we do in the comfort of our room.”

“He saw the bed.”

“Maintenance did it.” Harry supplied quickly, pulling the unconvinced alpha back towards their door.

When Brandon left, Louis made Harry fuck him raw on their beds. They still didn’t understand his slick, but Harry babbled on about how much he missed it and wanted to suck Louis dry of it.

“You don’t bring another omega in this room,” Louis ordered, sliding up and down Harry’s cock painstakingly slow. “Got it?”

“Yes, I got it. Now baby, _please_ go faster.”

Louis growled, fingernails digging into Harry’s tanned pecs and clawing down to his abs. “Hush, I’m angry with you,” He lifted once again, legs shaky and slick dripping down Harry’s cock, over his growing knot, and to his bushy balls.

The sound Harry released fell between a hiss and growl. Fingers pressed into Louis’ waist, darkened eyes making the man shutter, “Do not disobey me alpha.”

Louis whined, spasmodic cock oozing droplets of precum, “Do not disobey _me.”_ He gasped.

When Louis was gathered in Harry’s arms and placed on his back, he moaned deeply, spreading his legs as far as he could.

Harry pulled out and leaned on his heels. With four fingers pressed tight together, he placed them in a cup-like position. He embedded them in the stretched hole, crooking them up and forward.

The squelches and sopping noises as he finger-fucked the spent alpha egging him on.

“Shit, you sound fucking amazing,” He removed his hand, the lingering substance making his fingers stick together. He sucked all four into his mouth, a guttural moan drawing Louis’ attention. “And you taste even _better_.”

“Give me my knot alpha.”

Harry chuckled, lining his dick up to the wet entrance, “You mean my knot.”

Ominous eyes, almost consumed in black, observed Harry. He gripped the thick cock, pulling it to his entrance. “Mine.”

When Harry settled inside of Louis’ ass, he bit into his bottom lip, suppressing the whimpers. “Yours.”

* * *

“So, you didn’t tell your mom about me?”

Louis snuggled further under Harry’s arm, the laptop positioned between both their laps shifting. They’d argued on a show before settling on We Bare Bears.

“Nope. Did you tell your parents about me?”

“Kind of,” Harry replied, Louis looking up in surprise. “I told them about you, like, as my roommate.”

“Oh. Then yeah, I told her I got on good with my roommate now.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now,” Louis said, the implication to leave his comment at that evident.

“Uncomplicated.”

“Uncomplicated.”

* * *

Louis was over at Zayn’s, they were eating pizza rolls, and watching F is for Family.

“So you two have been fucking like wild animals?” Zayn inquired, face nonchalant as he dipped a pizza roll in his ranch.

“Mhmm.”

“He hasn’t been knotting you, has he?”

Louis blushed, “I…I don’t…”

Zayn sat up, licking his greasy fingers, “It’s a simple question. Has he?”

“He has…”

“Every time?”

“Every time.”

Zayn was deep in thought before he ate another pizza roll and stared hard at a squirmy Louis. “We should have ‘the talk’ since you know, you’re leaking out your ass now.”

“Zayn, please.” Louis groaned, “This is still all new, and I’m not really trying to examine what this all means for me just yet.”

Zayn had two fingers pinched together, “Just a little talk.”

They stared at each other for a second too long before Louis deflated, “Fine.” He groaned.

“Okay, so as of right now, we’re just going to _assume_ you have all omega qualities. With that being said, you shouldn’t be letting him knot you all the time.”

“Why not?”

“Because as omegas, we tend to correlate knotting to mating. It’s more prominent during heats and ruts. If he’s knotting you as much as you say he is, you’re going to become extremely jealous, it’ll be worse since you’re an alpha too.

“Brandon came in our dorm room when we got back from break, I wanted to rip his throat out.”

“Who did Harry tend to?”

Louis shivered, “Me.”

“Interesting. It’s usually said in A/B/O biology, an alpha will automatically tend to an omega.

Louis thought about Harry staying back with Brandon and growled. Zayn immediately tensed because Louis, regardless of other aspects, was still an alpha.

“I _am_ his omega.”

“Alright, calm down alpha.” Zayn eased.

Louis frowned, “I’m so sorry, Z.”

“It’s cool Lou-Lou. But to keep this,” Zayn’s hand motioned at the front of Louis’ body, “under wraps, stop letting him knot you.”

“It feels go—“ Louis cut himself off, eyes widening at what he almost revealed.

“Oh, trust me, I know.” Zayn added, smirking at a red-faced Louis, “But it’s in your best interest.”

“Fine.”

* * *

Harry had Louis pressed up against their dorm door, fucking his cock up into the leaking hole, slick dripping onto his straining thighs. 

They’d gone over to Zayn and Liam’s for dinner. After they’d eaten all of the pot roast Liam cooked, and drank two bottles of cheap wine, their wandering hands had them eager to take an Uber back to the dorm.

Harry could barely contain his need for Louis’ body. The minute the door had clicked shut, he’d dropped his jeans and pulled Louis’ down to his knees.

“Shit. Fuck Lou, m’close.” Harry huffed into Louis’ ear, the stubble of his new baby beard scratching the whining alpha’s earlobe.

Harry’s hand slithered around Louis’ hip to his groin, the little knot fitting perfectly in his fist as he squeezed lightly. “Come on jellybean, give it to me.”

Louis grunted, cum painting the door, “Oh gods.”

Harry was so focused on lodging his knot into Louis’ spent hole. He hated reaching orgasm. Even though his favorite moment was dumping his load into Louis’ belly.

He was just about to lock them together when Louis pushed him back, dropped to his knees, and wrapped his lips around his pulsing dick.

“Oh, fuck!” Harry groaned, fingers dipping into Louis’ hair, entangled in the silky strands. Louis locked both hands around Harry’s knot, a firm hold that had Harry cumming down Louis’ throat.

When he’d sucked all that Harry was going to give, mindful of the sensitivity, he pulled away, smiling up at a blissed-out Harry. “Good?”

“Fucking delightful.” Harry breathed heavily, helping Louis to his knees. “Would’ve been a little better pumping it in your ass.”

“Well, we don’t know if I can get pregnant or not, and plus, it’s just safer if you don’t knot me every time.”

Harry’s face morphed into confusion before the subtle hint of anger showed through, “Why does me knotting you matter? I can knot you as many times as I want.”

Louis frowned, stepping back to scrutinize a clearly bothered Harry, “No you can’t.”

“Yes. I. Can.” Harry gritted stubbornly, hands reaching out for Louis’ hips.

“Harry, we aren’t together. It’s not safe.”

“Why are you so intent on this? Are you trying to get fucked by someone else? Is that it?”

“What!” Louis shouted, pushing Harry’s hands off his body and moving towards his desk. “Why would you say that!”

“Answer me.” Harry hissed, crowding into Louis’ space again. “Am I not a good enough alpha for you?”

Louis focused on Harry’s warm breath fanning across his prickling neck. “You aren’t my alpha to begin with.”

When Harry growled deep, and feral Louis turned towards him and pushed the brooding man back. “Stop pushing me away, you aren’t explaining why in the fuck I can’t knot you. That ‘not being safe’ spiel is bullshit.”

“It’s not! Zayn said that with everything about me so unanswered, it’s not safe. I’m becoming more jealous, and apparently, so are you. It’s not healthy.”

“So you want to stop having sex with me, stop letting me put my knot that belongs in your body inside of you, all because Zayn told you it wasn’t _safe_.”

“Harry…that isn’t even remotely close to what I said. You’re acting crazy.” Louis slid into a pair of joggers, hand reaching for a shirt but realizing it was Harry’s, he turned to his dresser instead.

“I’m acting crazy, but you just passed up wearing one of my shirts for your own!”

Louis slid into a raggedy t-shirt, avoiding Harry’s fuming face, he picked up a pair of clothes for the other alpha and shoved them in his shaking hands. “Get dressed.”

Harry dressed, eyes still dark and heated, “Who is he? Another alpha?”

“You’re insane! Why does any of that matter? We aren’t to-ge-ther!” Louis emphasized, his own anger beginning to bubble.

“It matters because I don’t share.”

“I’m not your property,” Louis gritted, “You are not my alpha.”

Harry’s nod was curt as he stepped past Louis, a quiet chuckle as he moved to his bed and began to pull it away from Louis’.

“What are you doing.”

“Nothing,” Harry mumbled. Continuing to pull his bed away from the other, which was beginning to agitate Louis.

The growl building in his chest tumbled its way out of his throat, “Harry, quit.”

When he was ignored, Louis rushed over to the alpha and yanked him away from his task. “I said quit damn it!”

When Harry lept back towards the bed, Louis bared his teeth, eyes black, “Stop.”

Louis’ alpha voice caught Harry off guard and made him showcase his own canines. “You don’t use your voice on me; I am _not_ the omega here.”

“Neither am I. I’m an alpha, something you just can’t seem to understand,” Louis stressed, turning away from the antsy brunette to push the bed back how it was. “Real fucked up of you to think omegas are less than too.”

Harry frowned, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t know what you mean anymore, Harry. What I do know is that I’m getting really tired of you pushing this dominant alpha persona on me.”

Harry’s body deflated, and he threw himself down on the twin XL. “I’m not trying to be controlling, but I’ve knotted you more than any person I’ve ever slept with. You wanting to stop just—”

“—just pisses me off. Makes me think you want someone else…” He pushed his face into his trembling hands, rubbing over his eyes twice before running them through his dark strands.

“I don’t want anyone else, Harry I lo—” Louis stopped himself moving to sit on his own bed, body facing the wall. “I only want you, but it’s not safe.”

“Fine.” Harry agreed, “Goodnight.”

Louis fought the urge to turn around and confess his feelings. Tell Harry that he could knot him all he wanted if he gave him _more_. “Night.”

But he didn’t.

* * *

Three weeks before finals, Louis was stood in the shower crying because things between him and Harry had gone stale. It was like after their fight, things were just too far gone for them to create a new medium.

Louis wanted more, he would always want more, and Harry was either too blind or too unwilling to give him what he wanted. Now instead, he spent his days before and after class crying in the shower.

“I listen to you, and now he won’t even _touch_ me. Looks at me with this distant stare, like he realizes that I’m not ever gonna be what he needs.” Louis was blubbering away, accusations thrown at an unsuspecting Zayn.

“Lou, I didn’t… my intentions weren’t to mess things up between you two, I was just trying to look out for you.”

Louis looked at the clock hanging on the brick wall. He had class in ten minutes, “Thanks for looking out.” Was his muttered reply as he grabbed his backpack from the floor and rushed out, eyes and cheeks still wet.

Louis connected the lingering bad taste in his mouth and the overall dread hanging above him to his fight with Zayn. The omega really hadn’t meant him any harm. Louis just needed somebody to share his pain with. Zayn was his closest friend.

Realizing how big of an asshole he’d been, had him showing up at the omega’s apartment unannounced. He practically bone-rushed the startled omega with an ‘I’m sorry’ hug.

“I didn’t mean any of it.” He whispered, blurry eyes staring at the smiling man.

“I was never upset with you, Lou-Lou. I put myself in your shoes, and it all made sense. Again, I’m sorry things with Harry went south.”

Louis released his hold on Zayn, “It was stupid for me to ever think…” Louis paused, “Stupid of me to be thinking.”

“Quit it!” Zayn scolded, pushing at Louis’ shoulder, “His lost. Harry’s not worth the trouble.”

Louis thought over the last three and a half months with Harry, “He’s worth all the trouble in the world.”

∞

Josh was an alpha who, on November 20th, started bringing Louis a blueberry muffin to class. The first time it happened, Louis smiled, trumped it up to them being paired up in their A&P class regularly. He didn’t really like blueberry, but he never managed to eat breakfast before an 8AM class, so he was grateful.

At the start of the second week of these unsuspected gifts, they hadn’t even been in class. Louis had been headed to his go-to study nook when the brown-eyed male jogged up to him out of breath and extended a small bag from Starbucks towards him. Two cake pops. Birthday cake, and red velvet.

“Oh. Thanks Josh, you don’t have to feed me every day, just every other day.” Louis joked, pulling out the one with red cake crumbs on top and taking a bite.

“I want to.” He said, smiling and standing so close Louis could smell his aftershave.

He was much taller than Louis, lean body covered in clothes two sizes too big, but seemed to work from him. Pin-straight obsidian strands shading onyx eyes so dark Louis could make out his entire reflection.

“Oh, okay.” Louis shrugged, munching away at his sugary treat.

“Uh, where you headed?”

Louis peered up at the fidgeting man, “Library. Stevens has me stressed about his final.”

“Oh, do you wanna maybe study together?”

It surprised Louis that the alpha wanted to hang out with him after class. “That would be great.”

Josh smiled, shiny locks shifting over his eyes, “Cool.”

Louis didn’t really understand this turn of events. He and Josh hadn’t really known about each other’s existence until they started having to partner up. Maybe he could make a new friend.

“Did you understand his PowerPoint?”

“No, I kept getting mixed up between his explanation on understanding blo—.” Louis paused when he felt Josh move closer.

When he turned to address the man sitting painstakingly close, he was surprised to find a small smirk on the alpha’s cherry-stained lips. “You’re cute.”

“I’m an alpha.” Louis deadpanned, unsure of why Josh was coming on to him.

“I know.” He shrugged, sultry smirk still pressed into his face.

“Oh.”

“Can I drive you back to your dorm?”

Louis thought about Harry, and then he thought about how they weren’t even on speaking terms right now. “Sure.”

* * *

“Azalea. I stayed here last year.”

“Where do you stay now?”

“Off-Campus. It’s much better.”

“I might live off-campus next year,” Louis confessed, grabbing his bag from the car floor.

He watched in surprise as Josh rushed from the driver's side to open his door. His blush bloomed as he stepped out, eyes traveling up the lanky body that stood in his personal space.

“Th—”

“No. Fucking. Way.”

Louis’ body tensed at the deep voice that traveled across the parking lot. Josh had been leaning down to press a kiss to Louis’ cheek when his head rose to stare at whoever was yelling across the quiet area.

“Who the hell is that.”

Louis didn’t need to look back to know it was Harry, “You should go.” Louis suggested, pushing the puzzled boy away and heading quickly towards the building.

He watched Harry, whose blood-thirsty glare sent shivers down his spine, watch a clueless Josh get in his car and drive off.

He was reaching out for the door handle when Harry locked his hand around Louis’ neck, and he immediately ceased. “You’re a fucking _liar_.”

Their growls were rising—Louis’ in agitation, Harry’s in betrayal.

“Let me go.”

“Who is he?”

Louis shook Harry’s hand off his body. He headed inside, dreading having to spend the elevator ride up with the seething alpha.

“I won’t ask again.” Harry’s words were icy, his face blank but his body shaking.

“So _don’t_ ask again,” Louis replied, exiting the minute the doors opened.

Harry kept his rage to himself until they neared the dorm room. “What is your problem?”

Louis laughed, a manic-induced chuckle because he felt incredibly deranged at this point. “My problem! You’re acting like a feral knothead, and I have a problem.”

“You lied. I think I deserve an answer.”

Louis’ face contorted angrily, bothered by Harry’s phrasing, “I didn’t lie. I was fucking waiting for you to realize that I’m standing right fucking here, and you haven’t!”

Louis crowded into Harry’s space. “I wasn’t looking for anyone. Josh came looking for me, and I don’t think entertaining someone who actually _wants_ to be with me is any of your business.”

Harry’s eyes drew down, and the bubbling fury beginning to grow made Louis falter slightly. “You aren’t seeing him again, end of discussion.”

Louis rolled his eyes, “Fuck you.”

It’d been almost two whole weeks of them keeping their distances and avoiding any contact. But as their lips pressed together, the same sparks Louis felt two weeks back ignited, and he fell into Harry’s body.

Harry pushed Louis to their beds, yanking his pants and shirt off his trembling form, immediately lifting the alpha’s legs to expose his leaking hole. “Okay, fuck you too.”

Louis whined, hands hooking under his knees to hold them up and out of Harry’s way as the alpha bent low to lap at the slick oozing out of him. “F-fuck me…please.”

Harry lapped up the liquid free-flowing between Louis’ legs, sucking at the ring before dipping the tip of his tongue into the alpha’s body. When the pucker began to flutter open like a flower blooming for the first time, he smiled. He looked up at a panting Louis, fingers twitching as he held up his thighs.

“I _am_ your alpha.” Harry’s lips were shiny, the glossy sheen catching on the fading sunlight, “Don’t ever disrespect me like that again.”

“Yes alpha.”

“Fuck, I’ve missed your body.” Harry whispered, nosing at the supple flesh, “Missed you, alpha.”

“I was here all along.” Louis breathed softly, eyes closed as he focused on Harry’s fuzzy face rubbing delicately against his left thigh.

“Please don’t go out with Josh…don’t go out with anyone.” Harry’s voice was thick, a throaty sound that could easily indicate he was close to crying.

Louis was already crying, silent tears that ran down the sides of his face and into his ears. Harry was asking so much, and he was frustrated not only with the request, but his need to just comply. Tears that represented his animosity towards Harry, but also his resentment towards the hold he let Harry have over him.

When two fingers were pressed inside of him, Louis focused on the pain that turned quickly into pleasure. He didn’t want to focus on the fucked-up plight he was being tied to with Harry.

“Uhh.” Louis wailed.

“Sweet jellybean, gonna make you feel good.”

“Please.”

Harry’s fingers swiveled around slowly each pull out had his fingers doused in more slick. When he pushed in a third, Louis grunted, pushing out to accommodate the added digit. “Fuck baby, hole opens up for its alpha, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, alpha.”

Louis’ knot began to grow, and when it caught Harry’s attention, he wrapped his unoccupied hand around its base and squeeze. “My little alpha.”

Louis’ body squirted out another wave of slick. The squelches of his ass being pummeled, making Harry bite his bottom lip in anticipation of getting to fuck the fluttering pucker. He worked his hand faster, moaning along with the writhing alpha above.

“Harry, do something.”

Harry reluctantly pulled out of the warm crater, wrapping the wet fingers around his red cockhead, “Shit.” He hissed, the initial pleasure running from his cock and balls to every nerve-ending in his body catching him off guard.

His eyes were lidded, watching Louis drop his thighs to pull softly on his small penis. His knot was no bigger than a Roma tomato, the taut skin shifting on each tug. Harry couldn’t understand what it was about the sight, but it had him on the brink of cumming.

He pulled Louis’ body closer to the edge. He was so entranced, so bothered but so giddy. He shouldn’t have had to see Louis with another alpha to know that he didn’t want the man with anybody else but himself.

The last two weeks had been filled with contemplating what exactly he wanted from Louis, and how much willpower he had to deal with the bigots they would encounter as a couple. Danny, Joey, and Liam nagging him to do the right thing. Which, according to them, meant confessing his obvious feelings to the other alpha and letting himself be happy.

“I just want you happy,” He whispered, the dried-up tears catching his eye, “If I don’t make you happy, we don’t need to do this.”

“You make me happy, but so mad,” Louis belted, slapping at Harry’s stomach. “I hate you so fucking much, “ He cried loudly, fighting against Harry, who was scooping him into his arms to hold him close, “I’m in love with a fucking asshole!”

When warm tears dripped onto Harry’s cold shoulder, his own tears began to fall. “This fucking asshole loves you too. He’s just so fucking scared.” When Louis finally calmed, he didn’t say anything. He just laid lifeless in Harry’s loose embrace.

“Society is fucked up, Lou, and I…I’m not.”

“You’re a coward.” Louis mumbled, no malice behind the words, “I’ve lived in my messed-up body all my life. I think I know how shitty society is…the real question is, am I worth it Harry? Because you’re worth it to me, and that’s all that should matter.”

Harry pushed Louis back down onto the cool mattress, his eyes gazing at the flushed body that had been entrapped in his mind. “Worth everything jellybean. Sorry it took me being a typical fucking knothead to realize. I despise the thought of you with anyone else, but actually seeing you with someone not me, just made it all _click_.”

“Tell me,” Louis asked softly, sparkling irises staring up at Harry with tamed adoration and visible skepticism.

“I will but let me show you first,” Harry responded. He leaned down to hide his face in the crook of Louis’ neck. A gentle kiss to Louis’ mating mark as he slid a hand down between their bodies to place his throbbing tip to the pulsating pucker.

He pushed in slowly, Louis’ walls drawing him in as he rocked his hips forward in a shallow fashion. Their breaths mingling in the close hold they were cocooned in. When Harry was entirely inside of Louis’ shuddering form, he made long deep thrust. His knot hitting Louis’ entrance, an added slice of pleasure for the keening alpha.

Harry couldn’t recount how many times they’d had sex, but what he could say was that this was the slowest and most meaningful it had ever been. They were both crying, the reason not openly stated but evident in how they would pull back to stare into each other’s eyes.

Louis’ moans were needy, teeth nipping at Harry’s shoulders so close to his mating mark. “Please Harry,” Louis cried quietly, “Tell me, _please_.”

Harry’s hips picked up speed. Louis’ body jostled despite being in Harry’s firm embrace, and they’d both hooked their chins over each other’s shoulder, tears blurring.

“I-I love you,” Harry whispered. It was a soft, delicate sound, something Louis was surprised to hear from the alpha bawling above him.

When his knot was shoved into Louis, locking them together, their mouths simultaneously found their respective mating bites. Blood coated their jittery lips as Louis came. Harry’s seed filling him to the brim.

They licked and nuzzled at the marks, that inceptive need to solidify their bond that was forming. Pulling away as much as they could, teary eyes of green and blue watched as their markings transformed. The ‘A’ symbol being replaced by their respective initials.

“I love you,” Louis said, voice peaceful as he pulled Harry back down over his body, breathing in the man’s natural scent. “Please don’t hate me tomorrow.”

Harry pressed a feather-light kiss to Louis’ healing bond mark, “Same goes for you.”


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second Installment! 
> 
> Thank you all that read and show this fic love!
> 
> Also, Josh is Korean, I am not, but I enjoy writing characters of different races and ethnicities. With that being said I included some of his native language, not much but it is there, so if you speak Korean and any of my dialect or brief mentions of South Korea are wrong or inaccurate please feel free to correct me!

“We should just give him up. He’s sickly Deanne he won’t survive. Not as a child, and most definitely not as an alpha.”

“For goodness sake Thomas, hush! Just—Just shut your mouth.”

The man, stout in height and pudgy in the areas that most wouldn’t find common for an alpha in his mid-forties, looks down into the pram with subdued disgust. He takes a shaky hand across his perspiring forehead and over his thinning gray hair swept into a combover.

“I will leave you.” He stares at her hard, the unwavering look showcasing the severity of his words. “If you force me to raise this child, that so obviously will cause us nothing but _shortcomings_ , I will leave you here in Oregon. Penniless and without a mate.”

Deanne, also short in stature, but a fire about her that could make the meanest alpha tremble, glared down the man she thought she loved and who she thought loved her.

“Then go.” Hands trembling as she pushed at his chest, “Wouldn’t want your sorry ass to be what my pup has to look up to anyway.”

“You’ll never make it. An omega raising a dupe alpha on her own.” His chuckle was condescending, “You’ll be back.”

The grip she had on the front door was firm as she watched him shuffle quickly to the station wagon they’d purchased when they found out she was pregnant. The street, quiet like it usually is in the early morning, was void of all life.

“Like hell I will!” She yells, the sound echoing across the oak trees placed throughout their reserved neighborhood. Slamming the door closed before she would catch sight of his agitated sneer.

She forced herself to hold it together until she was back in the living room. She reached out for the baby blue bassinet, a present from her mother before she passed, the matching one thrown away the day she got the call they’d lost baby A.

A tear splattered against the navy swaddle, blurred blue eyes falling over the small bundle sleeping peacefully. She ran a shaky finger down its cheek, the nose scrunching ever so slightly.

“You’re my world pup. I’ll fight hell and high water to keep the wolves away.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, Ms. Harper. Your son is still not reaching the levels an alpha his age should be. His scores are still more than abnormal, and my best medical advice would be to admit him to a psychiatric facility for better testing and support.”

Deanne looked down at the two-year-old sleeping in the stroller, honey-tinted locks falling across eyelids adorned in long thick eyelashes. He’s called a pretty _omega_ every single day.

“You expect me to hand over my child to strangers and just wipe my hands of this? Go on living my life like I didn’t go through seventeen hours of gruesome labor?” She laughed for far too long, the beta before her squirming minutely.

When she stood to her feet, a laugh still filling the small space, she grabbed hold of her son’s stroller and made for the door. Composing herself, she exhaled sharply and stared back at the puzzled man, “You can take that advice and yourself straight to hell.”

She left with dignity, held her head high until she buckled him in his car seat, and drove off. The minute she hit the highway and stared back at the sleeping child, her dam broke, and she cried the same set of tears she’d been crying the last year and a half.

Same results. Same bigoted, close-minded medical professionals who insisted she just hand over her pup. _Insisted_ she let them poke and prod at his innocent little body to solve the problem they couldn't solve.

The car horn behind her broke her from her reverie. She swerved dangerously before skidding to the side of the road, and slamming her hands against the steering wheel, broken sobs turned into pitchy screams. “Damn it! Damn it!”

The boy cries, a soft sound that she shouldn’t be able to hear over her own blubbering but can. She quiets herself to only watery whimpers and whines before crawling her way into the back and pulls him from his seat, rocking him slowly. Pressing him so close to her body, almost as if she wants to embed him into her skin and keep him truly safe away from prying eyes.

“Shh, my sweet pup.” She watched him take a blonde strand of hair and wrap it around his chubby little finger. “My little Lou, what would I do without you?”

He rubbed the thick piece of hair against his face, large misty blues staring up at her, his smile small but oh so sweet.

“I’d go crazy, that’s for sure.” She kissed his forehead and then the apples of both his cheeks, “Hell and high water sweetheart, hell and high water.”

* * *

“He’s pretty small for an alpha.”

Deanne’s smile has a hint of sarcasm laced through it. She examines the omega mother holding a chubby alpha boy, “He’s right on track. Your son, however, might need to lose a few pounds though, if you plan on holding him for the rest of his life.”

She pulls Louis along, the shock on the other mother’s face making her chuckle to herself. She laughs even harder when she gets out into the school parking lot. When she hears her five-year-olds small giggles falling in-tune with her own, she poises her mouth to scold him but instead laughs even louder.

“You may be small, but at least you won’t squish any of your classmates.”

“M’not small. I’m big mama.”

She scoops the boy in her arm, twirls them twice before laughing to the sky. “Big, strong alpha!”

“Big! Strong!”

As she buckles him in his booster, his ruddy cheeks bulging as he smiles up at her, she kisses him on his nose. “You are big and strong pup. Never let anyone tell you differently.”

“Yes, mama.”

* * *

“I’m gonna be alone for the rest of my life!”

“Louis, sweetheart, this isn’t worth the energy you’re giving it.”

Louis growled, yanked his hands out of his mother's, and stormed into their one-level brick home. She followed behind him, quickly stopping the front door from slamming shut in her face and racing after him to the kitchen.

“I don’t want to hear that fucking bullshit anymore!” Louis roared, body shaking, blotchy face red with building anger.

Her eyes narrowed, and though she be not that much shorter than her teenage son, still managed to make him cower. “Watch it.”

He finally deflated, body dropping to the wood flooring and back pressing into the cold oven door. “W-what’s wrong with me.”

Deanne approached the boy with caution, not because she was afraid he would lash out at her, but because she knew sometimes he just needed his space. When he let her engulf him in a firm hug, he cried harder.

“Nothing is wrong. People just want to be right.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you are just who you’re supposed to be.”

“According to Mr. Dugan and the entire fucking senior class, I’m _different_.”

“Mr. Dugan is a spineless fool whose life dream was to be the health teacher at the local high school. He is nothing but a speck in your world.”

Louis chuckled, rubbed away the snot and tears before rising to his feet, “Did my admission papers come in?”

“Put all three envelopes on your bed.” She let him help her to her wobbly feet, bones cracking as she stood up straight, “Where are we putting all our money?”

“Texas.”

* * *

The December chill is non-existent as the two alphas lay spooning under the two comforters. The blankets are overlapping one another, and Harry’s chest is pressed as close as it can get to Louis’ back. Louis whimpers, body shivering as Harry traces a finger over the new mark now implanted in his golden skin.

“Say something,” Harry whispers into the air.

Louis glances at the calendar hanging above his desk. It’s a week before this newfound world of his gets tossed into disarray. So what can he say? Actually, what is there to say.

Swarming thoughts revolving around what happens once they don’t have the security of these four walls had been pushed to the dark recesses of their minds. Louis would be going back to Oregon and Harry to Austin.

Zayn and Liam were the only two people they’d told. Nobody else knew. Louis couldn’t decide if he liked that fact or not. Even though they needed to wear sweaters and hoodies because of the drop in temperature, he couldn’t help but be partially bothered at them covering up their bond marks.

In their society, bonding was a crucial moment for a newly mated pair. There was a sort of unspoken importance in broadcasting a freshly formed bond mark. Staking claim and showcasing that they were _spoken for_ critical in the new pairing.

“What is there to say,” Louis mutters softly, moving away from the light embrace. Nerves so rattled that just having Harry’s ghosted touch on his body makes him nauseous.

Harry tugs him back, licking over the mark before biting gently into the flesh of Louis’ shoulder. “You’re closing off again. Stop.”

Louis’ tears bubble at the surface, and he can't wipe them away as they fall because Harry’s arms encircling him have his trapped. “A week, Haz, we’ve only been mated for seven days give or take.”

“We’ve been mated a week, and today makes it a week in a day—no give or take.”

Louis rolls his eyes and finally works up the courage to pull out of Harry’s arms. “Finals are next week. After that, my mom is expecting me to be home for winter break.”

Harry doesn’t grab for him, and Louis doesn’t allow himself to get upset over that. It isn’t fair of him to have a wishy-washy attitude towards the male when all he’s trying to do is make things seem okay.

“We’ll visit. You don’t honestly think we’ll be able to get away with being mated, do you?”

“Do you want to get away with it?” Louis asks with uncertainty.

Harry is silent a lot longer than Louis expects, and that fact alone makes his stomach start to churn. The inkling feeling that this mating was his biggest mistake yet begins to bite at his heels.

“Of course not.”

He waits for the alpha to say more. For Harry to say anything else that would convince him that he’s on board with the fact that he mated another alpha when he’s only a sophomore in college.

“We shouldn’t have done this. It was stupid and so irresponsible of us—of _me_.” Louis swallows down the dry feeling growing in his throat. The one that comes from the need to ugly cry. “So fucking _stupid_.” He hisses, fist beating into his trembling thigh.

“I’m sitting right here ya’know.” Harry grits, the emerging anger evident in his tone, “Not really appreciating you talk about being with me so…horribly.”

Louis doesn’t manage to pull his eyes away from the wall in front of him until he’s confident he won’t cry. Harry’s got a stoic sneer on him when he does manage to turn around. “M’sorry alpha.”

The look diminishes instantly, and Harry’s crawling across the two mattresses and pulling Louis in for a kiss before the next wave of tears can fall on the bedsheets. “Sweet, sweet, alpha.” He presses into Louis’ trembling mouth.

“You didn’t want this, Harry, and I’m so sorry.” Louis cries quietly, “I—I don’t…I’m not.”

“When did I ever say I didn’t want this?” Harry voices confoundedly, “I mated with you, and unless we mutually decide to have these marks medically removed, I’m mated for _life_.”

Louis kisses him after that, and he believes the alpha. Still, he has so many uncertainties hanging over his head that he can't just be in the moment with his mate. There is no happy afterglow and the overall feeling that this is right. He just feels even more disconnected from himself.

“Please talk to me, or if you can’t talk to me, call Zayn.”

“What if the slick goes away, what if I can’t give you pups or you realize that I’m to alpha-y and it’s just not what you want anymore. What if I’m not what you want ten years down the line.” He breathes heavily, jumbled words falling past his wobbly lips so quickly that he doesn’t even know if any of it made sense.

“If it’s ten years down the line and I’m not happy, I give you every right to kill me.”

They laugh shortly, the heaviness of the topic making it hard to truly appreciate Harry’s joke. “I’m serious. What if we just…What if _I_ just…”

“Can I tell you something?” Harry whispers close to Louis’ cartilage.

“If it’s relevant to the current topic, yes,” Louis mumbles, nosing at Harry’s neck before settling comfortably in the male’s arms.

“Move-in day, when you stood up, my first thought was ‘holy fuck, this is by far the most beautiful omega I've ever seen’. Then I thought, ‘oh fuck, this is probably my roommate's omega’, and the last thing was ‘fuck it, I want him’.”

“What did you think when you found out I was an alpha?”

“Damn.” Harry laughs, shaking his head briefly before locking his chin over Louis’ shoulder, “Then I thought, ‘fuck it, still want him’.”

“You’re a liar.” Louis whispers.

“No, honest to the gods, I wanted you so fucking bad, and well, you know how I handled that whole fiasco.”

“Oh yeah, you gave me the runaround and almost attacked innocent Joshy because of your cowardice ways.”

Harry’s low growl makes Louis’ hole slick up, “Don’t fucking call him _Joshy_.”

“He’s my friend,” Louis replies slowly.

He’s hyper-aware of Harry’s fingers gripping his sides tightly, slick building as he pictures the angered face forming behind him.

“He likes you. He makes you cute little bento boxes that put my cup of noodles to shame.”

“I told him I like his Mickey-shaped egg salad sandwiches the best.” His shout of giggles when placed on his back makes the alpha above him smirk.

“I hate when you make me jealous, it isn’t cool.” Harry breathes in deep, nostrils flaring at the growing scent of sugary lemon, “But it makes you horny, so I’ll compromise a little.”

“Only want you alpha,” Louis mutters, pulling Harry down over his body. “Whatever happens, promise we’ll always work it out.”

“Promise,” Harry says directly over Louis bond mark, sealing it with a kiss.

* * *

“Why are you frowning, agi taeyang?” _(Baby Sun:_ **아기** **태양** _)_

Louis smiles up at Josh. He’s got Louis’ routine breakfast in his hand as he eases down into the desk. “Was not.”

“You were.” He deadpans, placing the Dunkin’ bag in front of Louis. “Class starts in ten, so talk quickly.”

Louis stalls by eating two big bites of his bacon, egg, and cheese croissant; when he swallows, Josh is leaned slightly over, onyx irises on Louis’ mouth.

“I’m just sad about going back to Oregon…Gonna miss some _people_.”

“People?”

“People.”

“Do these people mean a lot to you?”

Louis blushes, ducking his head to avoid the heady gaze, “Joshy, quit.”

“I just asked a simple question. I can’t help you fluster easily.”

“Where are you going for break?” He redirects.

“To visit my parents and family in Daegu.”

“Do you ever get homesick?”

“Some days are better than others. Tuesdays and Thursdays are always great.”

“Why’s that?”

“Getting to see you smile when I bring you breakfast, or when I make you bento boxes, and you act like it’s the coolest thing you've ever seen.”

“Because they are.” Louis corrects, giggling as he thought back to the first one Josh ever made him.

“My grandmother says they are terrible.” Josh chuckles, cracking his knuckles as he leans back in the desk that’s too tiny for his oversized body.

“Museoun?” ( **무서운** )

Josh is surprised by Louis’ Korean but still smiles, “You’ve been practicing.” They share a moment, and as Louis averts his gaze to the desk. Josh glances at the door when a group of students walk in. “Have you considered what I offered?”

Louis tenses, eyes darting to the people starting to walk around them and giving Josh a look that clearly says ‘shut up’. “After class.”

“Sorry, I just… I think it’ll help.”

Louis sends the alpha another stern glare. “After. Class.”

Josh knows about Louis. He hadn’t really needed to say much because the alpha had done his own research. They’d been having their morning breakfast when Josh approached the topic. Louis had immediately bared his teeth and threatened Josh with death if he told anybody.

Louis thinks in an alternate world, Josh would be his soulmate. Mainly because he didn’t look at Louis any differently after he did a horrible job of explaining what’s happening inside of him. He asked questions and never pressured Louis to answer things he wasn’t comfortable with sharing.

Louis knows he should tell him about his mating with Harry, but some selfish part of him wants to keep the attention Josh bestows on him all to himself as long as he can. It’s obvious Josh likes him a lot more than a friend should, and he’s worried that telling the alpha will disrupt the calm of their relationship.

He doesn’t have a choice now, though. All because Josh, a few days ago, gave him a pamphlet to a facility in Houston that claims it has the answers to his unsolvable problems.

The part of him that wants to pursue it is held back by the possibility of being rejected once again. Repeatedly told that he would just have to “figure it out himself”. They might be living in the twenty-first century, but the hell he’s suffered over something that has no clear understanding didn’t make it feel like they were.

Josh didn’t speak up again until they were walking along the sidewalk leading back towards the student center.

“I don’t leave for SK for two weeks after finals…we could go together, and we could just check it out. Get some more information.”

Louis watches a group laughing and horse playing boisterously pass them before he looks up at Josh. His hopeful eyes making Louis’ heart constrict.

“I have to tell you something.” Louis looks back down the long walkway. Eyes traveling up into the colored leaves as he thinks about how to come clean. He’s scared.

“What’s wrong?”

Louis sits down on the first bench that he sees, the main campus off in the distance. “Sit.”

Josh looks mildly skeptical. Sitting close enough for their legs to knock into each other. “Just tell me agi taeyang.”

He shivers once from the cold and then twice from fear of Josh’s reaction. “I…I’m mated…”

Eyes squeezed shut, he has his ears on high alert, and if Josh punches him in the face, then he knows he probably deserves it for leading the poor alpha on. Except nothing happens, and his eyes peek open to find Josh looking in the complete opposite direction.

Louis’ hand reaches out to touch, but he thinks better of himself and falls back. “Joshy?”

“Who is it? An omega?”

Louis holds back the laugh, but the more he thinks about himself with an omega, the laughter bubbles up and out of his mouth against his will. He calms when he catches just the slightest smirk from the other male.

“Seriously.”

“I couldn’t say the other word,” Josh confesses sheepishly.

Louis nods, this time letting his hand rest on Josh’s shoulder, a brief squeeze before he looks up at the winter sun. “His name is Harry…you’ve met him before.”

Louis wants to whine when Josh finally turns to look at him with confusion. “I have?”

“Mhmm.” Louis pulls out his phone, showing the lock screen photo of him and Harry cheesing hard. “Parking lot maniac from the time you dropped me off.”

“You chose _him_ over me?” Josh actually looks affronted, and Louis giggles, yanking on a glossy black strand of hair.

“Glad you aren’t mad, Joshy.”

“Never mad, just … puzzled.”

Louis’ focused on the birds chirping and the faraway voices of students traveling to different parts of the campus. Josh was also having his own personal moment of silence, and it was kind of what they needed. Josh needed it to thoroughly understand the guy he wanted didn’t want him and would never want him. Louis needed it to become accustomed to telling others that he was mated to another alpha.

“So you don’t want to go to the facility in Houston? You’re just gonna…” The man looked perplexed, a bothered haze in his chocolate eyes.

“That’s just it. I want this so fucking bad, Josh. I’m so close to maybe getting some new answers, and I want it.” Louis pushes his hands under his thighs, hopes that will stop the shaking. “My mom…she—she gave up when I was younger, and then when I turned sixteen and nothing _happened,_ it lit a fire in her to give it another go…but…fires eventually burn out again.”

“You’ve gotta light your own fire now, Louis.” Josh pulls him under his arm, and had Louis fit his classification, it would’ve turned heads. But they just looked like a loved up alpha and omega.

He let Josh hug him for a few minutes longer, then his phone vibrates. He’s supposed to be meeting Zayn for a study session in the library. “I’m gonna think it over and talk to Harry.”

“Always remember to put yourself first, Lou.” Josh reiterates, standing and turning to help Louis stand as well. “I just want you to get some closure.”

Louis smiles delicately, the blush that blooms a cherry red across his frosty cheeks, making the other alpha smirk. “Thanks, Joshy.”

* * *

“Harry’s gonna kill Josh,” Zayn mutters after Louis’ confided in him.

“Have you not paid attention to the important topic at hand. I could finally get some answers.” Louis stresses with a happy whine.

Zayn smiles, “Yeah, no, I heard all of that, and it’s great, Lou.” He hugs the beaming alpha close, “But. Harry is going to kill Josh.”

“How do I tell him about the facility without bringing Joshy up?”

“How about _not_ calling him Joshy when you tell him.” Zayn laughs, cleaning up his study materials. “And also, just be honest and open with him. If Harry loves you, he’ll go to the ends of the earth.”

“I haven’t told my mom. She’s expecting me to come back to Oregon.”

“Don’t tell her until you know Houston is a for sure thing.”

“What are you and Liam doing?”

“Road trip to Idaho. Two weeks with his parents, then two with mine. New years in New York because we wanna be cliché.”

Louis smiles even though he’s envious. He didn’t want to spend his winter break trying to better understand why his body is the way it is. He would also like to road trip around the United States with his mate.

“That sounds fun.” He tells the back of Zayn’s head as they leave their study room.

“Do you want a ride back to your dorm?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Zayn frowns because he knows Louis’ sulking again. “You’ll never be happy if you aren’t comfortable with who you are, Lou.”

“I am comfortable.” He doesn’t even convince himself when he says it.

Zayn waits until they're in his Nissan to say anything else. “I know that you know that isn’t true, so how about for once you be honest with yourself.”

“I don’t think Harry and I will last. He’s too…” Louis knows the exact word he wants to use, but it’s like once he says it, he’s essentially saying that’s how he feels about the man he mated with.

“Say it.”

“Normal.” Louis’ mouth dries out after he finally says what he’s thought for a while now. “He’s lived a very comfortable life of being the “it” guy, and I just…I know he can’t handle this— _me_.”

“Harry’s a good guy, and he loves you Lou.” Zayn tries to remind the alpha again, “If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have mated with you. He would’ve denied himself happiness and mated the first omega he felt he could bring home to mother.”

“I think that’s the one thing that keeps me grounded. Until my mind runs away again, and then I wonder if one day he’ll want to sever our bond, act like we never happened.”

Zayn pulls up to Louis’ dormitory, and the alpha looks up at his room window.

“You can overthink until the end of time, but if you two don’t sit down and actually talk out your problems, all those worries you have will come to light.” Zayn punches Louis’ shoulder, “I just want you to be happy.”

“Going to Houston with Josh and Harry to get some answers is what we’ll make me truly happy, but I don’t think it’ll be that easy.”

“Probably not.”

Louis waves Zayn off before heading inside and also checks his phone for the time. He smiles because he knows Harry is back from class and will have their traditional dinner of turkey sandwiches and dill pickle chips ready. However, the room’s empty when he gets inside, but the running shower water lets him know where his alpha is. Louis blushes to himself. _His_ alpha.

He quickly sheds his backpack and clothes, he slips into his shower shoes by the bathroom door, and fist bumps when the doorknob turns. He’s got a beautiful view of the tall brunette, and he doesn’t waste any more time hopping in behind his mate.

Harry turns around and looks down at him with his eyes still closed. “Every time we take a shower together, it gets naughty.”

“Fine with me,” Louis mutters, reaching out for Harry’s dick and tugging twice.

Louis watches the alpha’s nostrils flare due to the slick dripping down his leg and into the drain. Harry pulls the smaller male close, hand diving in between his slippery cheeks and instantly dipping into the fluttering hole.

“I missed you so much today.” Louis whines, parted lips mouthing at the warm wet torso of his mate.

“Missed you more jellybean.”

Harry directs Louis around to where he’s facing the back shower wall. Louis doesn’t need any guidance as he lays his head against the surprisingly cool tile. His bubble butt extended just enough for the alpha behind him to sidled up behind and run his throbbing dick between his naturally lubed up cheeks.

“Missed that pretty little smile and this phenomenal ass. Missed all of you.”

Louis wants to tell the man he’s missed him too, but then he’s got an ass full of hot cock, so he focuses on how much he’s missed that instead. Let’s the man pound into him relentlessly, a force that can’t be reckoned with and makes his legs tremble.

“Shit.” Louis breaths out steadily, palms flat as he pushes back to meet each of Harry’s sharp thrust. He reaches down for his cock, just barely filling his hand. It takes two longs pulls before he’s squirting what little seed he can on the back wall.

He whimpers and groans when Harry locks them together, wet lips nipping at his mating mark, which in turn makes a glop of slick ooze out around Harry’s throbbing dick. The water is freezing when they finally unlink, and once Harry shuts it off, he steps out, wet flip-flops squelching as he steps back to let Louis out as well. When they get back into their room, Louis immediately lays his towel down and lays on his stomach. He’s shivering slightly when he parts his cheeks, his loose hole revealed to Harry, who growls low and needy.

“You sure?” Harry asks, rummaging through his bottom dresser drawer.

“Mhmm,” Louis mutters, cheek rubbing against the comforter as he nods.

The item is cold as it’s nudged against his blazing hole. He sucks in a deep breath when it’s pushed inside, and it’s on the exhale that it settles comfortably against his constricting walls. Harry taps at the jeweled end and licks his lips before leaning forward to kiss both of Louis’ ass cheeks.

“What if you get pregnant?” Harry whispers at Louis’ neck, sealing it in as he kisses at the base.

“I want your pups alpha…d-do you want me—”

“Shh.” Harry stops, turning Louis over and rubbing at the bottom of his belly, “Of course. I want you to have all my pups.”

The buttplug is a solid weight inside of him, and ever since he’s started leaking slick, he’s had this innate need to always be filled with Harry’s cum. This weird part of him that _wants_ to have Harry’s pups, and have them _now_.

“Love you, alpha,” Louis whimpers, hands reaching out for his mate, who scoops him up and holds him close.

“Love you more alpha.”

* * *

“Harry, son, you can not like Mr. Andrews.”

Harry, a big-eyed eight-year-old, placed a puzzled gaze on his father. “Why not?”

“Because he’s an alpha.” Harry still didn’t understand, and that made his father huff in indignation. “Alphas and Alphas don’t go together. It’s unnatural.”

“I don’t like him cause he’s an alpha. I just…like him.”

Harry’s father grabs him up with a crazed look in his eye. “What did I say.” He yells, alpha voice shaking Harry to his core.

The second his father releases him, he runs off in search of his mother, his tears clouding his vision as he runs through the ginormous house. “Mama!”

He doesn’t have to yell out for her again because he’s stumbling into the folds of her dress, breathing in her strong scent of sweet fig. “Shh, my sweet alpha, what’s the matter.”

“Dad yelled at me again cause I like Mr. Andrews from the bakery.” Harry cried, sniffles short and loud as he snuggles closer.

She huffs, a long drawn out sigh that Harry’s too young to understand. “Your father just wants what’s best for you. That’s all.”

“Mama, why can’t alphas be with other alphas?”

She’s quiet for a long while, and for a minute, Harry thinks she isn’t going to answer him at all. “There are things in the world that even I can’t explain, sweetheart, but what I can tell you is that you are to pass no judgment on anyone. Understood?”

“Yes mama.”

* * *

“Y-you’re an a-alpha.” Harry stutters, eyes boring into the gray eyes of his high school boyfriend.

“Yes, but Harry, we can still be together. Who cares what anyone else says or thinks.”

Harry growls, pushes the boy back, and stands to his full height. “ _I care_. I can’t have pups with an alpha, can’t bring you home to my parents, and tell them that I mated an alpha!” He pulls at his curls because he’s not even mad at Greg. He’s angry at himself for ignoring the obvious. “We’re through Greg, don’t—don’t call or text me.”

“Harry! I thought—I thought you loved me?”

Harry watches the boy cry, and he’s somewhat thankful it’s their senior year. They’ve only got two more weeks before graduation. “I lied.”

* * *

“You find you a good omega. Try not to find one at the university; they talk back and want to work long hours like alphas.”

Harry has never wanted to fight his father, but hearing him spew such outdated and bigoted bullshit, he’s very tempted to swing at him once. “I’m not gonna be really looking for a mate, just want to get my degree and start working with Benny.”

“Benny is still single. An alpha without an omega is a trainwreck hence why he’s always hungover or drunk when we see him. Don’t be foolish son.”

Harry’s jaw tightens, “Okay.”

He’s headed to his bedroom when his mother pulls him into her study. “I want to wring his neck, Benny is his son too, but he talks about him like he’s a nobody.”

“Your father will always be the stubborn jackass we’ve all known him to be.”

“I’m not going to school to find a mate.” Harry reiterates.

“Okay.” She tells him, a small smile on her lips.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“No reason.”

* * *

“So, let me get this straight.” Harry starts, hands clenched into fists, “Josh knows about your problems and took it upon himself to take you, my mate, to Houston to get testing done?”

“Harry, you already sound pissed,” Louis says before anything else, standing from the bed. They’d had a nice evening so far, and Louis didn’t want to upset the atmosphere.”

“How can you even expect me to be calm about this?” Harry stresses, also standing to his feet, “Josh is not a friend to me. He wants what I already have and own.”

Louis glares, canines on display, “Watch it.”

Harry also becomes agitated, squaring his shoulders and flaring his nostrils, “Louis, don’t.”

“You always do this!” Louis whines, growling when Harry doesn’t deflate.

“Louis,” Harry says once more, this sternness to his voice that has just as much power as his alpha voice does over Louis. “You. Are. Mine. Correct?”

Louis goes willingly, head placed in between Harry’s pectorals, “Correct.”

“I will take you to Houston, not, Josh.”

Louis pushes away from Harry and frowns, “He’s the reason I even have the opportunity! He’s coming.”

“What is with you and him?” Harry shouts, grabbing Louis up in his arms and shaking slightly. Louis growls, and it’s so menacing that Harry immediately let's go.

“You ever grab me like that again, I will shred you apart,” Louis tells him darkly.

Harry groans, “I’m frustrated!”

“He’s going, so leave it be. You two need to talk, so you realize he isn’t a fucking threat to your manhood!”

* * *

“What part of Korea are you from?” Harry asks as he eyes the menu.

“South,” Josh mutters, stepping up to the counter to order.

Harry rolls his eyes because Louis made it seem like they would get on just fine, but from how Josh is barely holding a conversation with him, he begs to differ. He places his order, and after filling his cup with Sprite, he spots the alpha in a booth further in the back.

They sit in silence for longer than Harry would like until Josh shifts, and he’s glaring at Harry. “Is there something wrong?”

“You shouldn’t have him. I liked him way before you decided you were going to give him a chance.”

Harry starts to laugh, but then he gauges how serious Josh is, “You do know we’re mated, right? Like, there’s _never_ going to be you and Louis, so your best bet is getting chummy with the guy who put that lovely bite in his neck.”

Josh stands, and Harry follows, “You’re pathetic. I see right through you Styles, you won’t hold up. You’re too… fragile.” Harry sneers, mouth poised to tell him off but Josh keeps going, “Louis needs a real alpha, someone who cares about him and not about what others will say.”

“I love Louis, so you can just fuck off.” Harry hisses, hearing the distant call for their order numbers. He stomps back up to the counter, asks for his food to be bagged, and leaves. He refuses to let some wannabe tell him what’s good enough for his mate. _His_.

* * *

Louis doesn’t even ask. He can tell from how Harry grumbles and groans while also knocking into the furniture harshly it didn’t go well. He frowns and reaches out for his cellphone to text Josh, but then Harry’s on him, and the device is yanked from his grip and tossed on the desk behind them.

“You will not speak to him, Louis. Understood?”

Louis bristles. The alpha in him wants to defy the order, but another part of him that’s ever-growing wants to obey. “I just wanted to ask what happened.”

“Why ask him when your alpha is standing right before you, hmm?”

“You’re upset. Don’t like it when you yell and get angry.”

“He is the sole reason for all of that right now, so your best bet would be avoiding him at all cost.”

“What happened?”

“He wants you Louis, and I,” Harry chuckles dryly, “I _told_ you that, but you’re so fucking naïve—”

“Am not!” Louis shouts, frowning up at the other alpha.

“You are.” Harry states again, but more forcibly, “We hadn’t even gotten our food before he came at my throat. Mouthing off about him being the better fit for you, gods, it was disgusting.”

“Why disgusting?” Louis eases.

“Because! I’m your alpha. I will always be your one and only alpha!” Harry stresses, pulling Louis up off the bed and exposing his neck. He licks a long strip over their bond mark, suckling lightly at the skin, his tongue washed in citrus. He groans, eyes rolling before he pushes the shorter male back down on the bed and swiftly removes both their bottoms.

“On your stomach.” He orders, dark eyes making Louis squirm and turn over quickly. Harry parts Louis cheeks, mouth watering at the dribbling slick, “This belongs to me.”

Louis moans when Harry laps at his pucker, “Yours alpha.”

“He will never see you like this. If he tries, I promise you Louis, I will _kill_ him. I will rip his knot from his body.”

Louis shivers, his body drawn to Harry’s jealous side for some reason, “Knot me. Claim me, alpha.”

Harry doesn’t need to be told twice, eases his fat cock into the slick hole, and starts in fast. His thrust are hard, hitting Louis’ prostate purposely, the lilted whimpers and breathy pants music to his ears. He can’t explain what kind of hold Louis has over him, but just the mere _idea_ of the man with anyone other than himself makes his skin crawl and body run cold. He’s had lovers before, and all of them had been well-off omegas who would’ve been perfect to bring home to his father. Except, none of them made him feral. Never made him spend minutes and hours wondering where they were and if they were okay.

He knew how Louis looked. Hell, it was the alpha’s looks alone that had garnered all of Harry’s attention during their first introductions. Louis was drop-dead gorgeous, he was an unfathomable sight, and Harry knew all of this. He also knew the alpha favored an omega, and it seemed like he was favoring them more and more every day. In turn, that had him on edge, worried that some other miscreant, Josh being an easy example, would try and take what he was so fixated on. What he finally realized he was more than in love with.

It scared him most days when he couldn’t get through class or lunch with the guys without fixating on where Louis was, as well as what he was doing.

“Louis, I—I can’t lose you.” He whispered, voiced tinged in fear, his pumps sporadic and in no direct pace, “I love you so much, it’s not normal.”

Louis whines, and he wants to address what the alpha above has just said, but before he can, Harry’s pushing his knot inside of him and sealing them together. His thick, warm seed filling his belly and making him go pliant and content. He sighs in place of his readied response.

“I will kill for you Louis,” Harry pants out, leaning down over the flaccid body, short whines that help him ooze out a few more droplets of cum. “Like I know you’re too out of it, but jellybean, I’ll fight hell and high water to keep the wolves away.”

Louis whines so high after that statement that Harry has no choice but to pull away. When the sound finally dies down, Harry kisses Louis’ neck and his bond mark. “You’re my world.”

“You were whining so beautifully baby, so high and needy,” Harry whispers into Louis’ ear. He washed them both up, and now they were snuggling underneath their comforters.

“Y-You like my whines alpha?”

“Love them jellybean. They help me put more cum in your belly.” Harry rubs at Louis’ lower tummy, then his hand travels down to nudge at the buttplug nuzzled deep in Louis’ ass.

“You said something that made me realize how meant for each other we are—I love you alpha, and I hope Houston has the answers I need so we can get on with our lives.”

“Whether they have them or not. I love you Louis, more than all the fishes in the sea,”

“And the stars in the sky.” Louis smiles, giggling when Harry’s beard brushes against his earlobe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third, and final, installment will be the trip to Houston as well as an epilogue of sorts.
> 
> As always, peace and chicken grease ✌🏾❤️


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final installment! Thank you all for giving this fic all the love, and I’m forever grateful for any read, comment, or kudos. 🥰❤️
> 
> PSA: I’m am not a doctor, so please do not take any of the medical jargon in this story as truth lol. I just said what would make sense in the story. 🥴😂

“I don’t understand why you have to go to Houston, Lou. They have excellent and capable doctors right here in Oregon.”

Louis eyes his mother briefly before he stares hard at the linoleum. Stormy blues then boring into the space in front of their stove. He recounts countless times he had meltdowns regarding his body and classification in that very spot.

“We’ve been to every doctor in our town and the two bordering us. Oregon doesn’t have anything for me anymore, mom, and I think me searching elsewhere will help.”

“Who is the pacing alpha in my driveway?” she’s peering out the kitchen window that overlooks their front yard, and Louis stands on his tiptoes to gaze at Harry. The latter insisted he tag along so he could properly meet Louis’ mother.

“Um, a _friend_. I wanted to talk to you before I invited him inside.” Louis says, moving out of his mother’s space and back to his spot at the island. “I have something else to tell you.” The turtleneck he has on itches just slightly after that innocent statement.

The last time he saw his mom was Thanksgiving break before he mated with Harry. Now in the throes of winter break, Louis has a fresh mating bite marring his skin, and he doesn’t know how she’s going to react.

He can’t even begin to assume his mother’s reaction because mating for him was the last thing on their minds when he was younger. With a body so discombobulated and doused in unanswered questions, mating and settling down weren’t even topics of discussion. Louis only knew what they taught in his health classes, and that was still extremely limited.

“Does it surround this boy?” she’s skeptical as she turns back towards him, and he notices the bated worry swimming just throughout the dulling blue.

“Um, yes.”

She nods her head slowly, completely lost but trying her best to follow along. “Just tell me.”

Louis allows his clammy, thin fingers to crawl up to his neck. The pads of his fingertips playing over the navy fabric that seems to be suffocating his neck as the seconds tick by. She’s watching the movement, and if Louis were different, he knows she’d already have put two and two together. But he _is_ different, so she just observes him carefully.

The air is cool against his sweaty neck, and it sends a shiver through his body that affectively has his eyes shutting briefly. He welcomes it only because he doesn’t have to see her face. He smells her, though, because omegas have scents, and right now, rosemary and lemon are more potent than they’ve ever been in their house.

“Louis William!”

His eyes pop open, and he can’t avoid her gaze any longer. It wouldn’t matter anyway because her face is unreadable. “I-I...”

It’s somewhat funny, standing here in the kitchen of his childhood home facing his mother as he tells her he has mated someone she’s never met. He’s only been gone from his home for a full five months. He giggles despite the seriousness of the atmosphere.

She glares softly, which ceases any more laughter that wants to build and bubble out of him. “You mated without telling me.”

Louis’ mouth falls open before he clears his throat and responds. “It—mom, it isn’t what you think, and I don’t really know how to explain any of it. It just kind of happened.”

He waits for her to acknowledge the larger, more significant part of his revealing.

“Mating is so special, Louis, and with everything you’ve been through.” She huffs sadly, which pulls hard on his heartstrings, “A simple text message would’ve sufficed.”

Louis is still waiting, but when she’s looking at him with another explanation, his wall of rejection that he’d built tumbles, and he stares at her blankly. “Mom, I also didn’t tell you because I mated with an—an alpha.” He cringes even though the invisible weight on his shoulders has risen.

“Louis, honey, you don’t honestly expect the mother of a child who has been shunned his entire life to suddenly shun that same child for who he’s chosen to love?”

The tears bounce off the apples of his cheeks, “It’s not right. I just made my not so normal life all the more unnormal.” He wipes them away swiftly. “I’ve already made your life hell; this just sends it into the pits.”

She’s rounding the island and pulling him into her chest. He’s crying harder now because one thing he‘s grateful for is the gods giving him the woman he’s got wrapped close.

“Louis, I am your mother. I will _always_ be in your corner. Through hell or high water, sweet pea.”

“I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It was just… crazy and unplanned. I don’t know if we jumped the gun and a few months from now we’ll split, but it was so right, and I’m crazy for him mom. He’s—” Louis looks towards the window, and even though he can’t see Harry his heart still soars, and his stomach still swoops. “He’s amazing.”

She holds him at arms-length, “He knows about…”

“I told him everything, and he’s—it hasn’t been easy, but he’s trying.” Louis sounds unsure. Although he may sing Harry’s praises for all to hear, he doesn’t honestly know how comfortable Harry is with him and their relationship.

The alpha has reassured Louis more times than needed. But it’s in the moments that matter most, Louis finds himself back in the hole he’d been in from the beginning. Like when they’d been walking to their boarding area, and Louis, with his bite on full display and a large smile on his face, had gripped Harry’s hand in a loose hold. Louis had been on cloud nine until they got to their boarding area. It was like crossing over into a world where hand-holding wasn’t acceptable. Louis knew it had nothing to do with them holding hands but everything to do with the people being hyperaware about his body's abnormalities. It didn’t matter that he leaked slick, and his bond mark smelled strong of fresh lemon—he still had no _outward_ scent.

Omegas can expose or suppress their scents, but commonly, bonded omegas display it out of respect for their alpha and let others know they’re taken. But when people look their way and can’t immediately pin down a scent for him, the confused gazes don’t go unnoticed by Harry. He instantly pulls away, which pushes Louis further inside his own head of self-doubt.

That was only one of many, and Louis could look past it all sometimes. But for the most part, it eats at him to the point where he’s second-guessing himself once again and wondering if Harry’s love for him is only obligation.

She frowns, but it’s short-lived because then she’s pulling him into a hug and sniffling quietly. “Well, bring him in. I want to meet this impromptu son-in-law.”

Louis’ whines shortly, squeezing his mother around the waist before he’s headed for his front door. Harry is still pacing, and it shouldn’t be as endearing, but it is. “H, um, she’s-she’s ready.”

Harry’s eyes are green saucers as he approaches the three steps. He takes them carefully, and he still looks like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, so Louis giggles. The laughter must break Harry from his scared stupor because he’s soon sporting his own smile.

“Sorry, I just…I want her to like me.” He rubs at the back of his neck as he steps into the foyer.

“Be yourself, and it’ll be fine.” Louis whispers, instantly entwining their hands, a light grip on Harry’s forearm as he pulls them towards the kitchen.

She scrutinizes him first, and the sweat building between their linked hands is queue enough that they’re both pretty intimidated. The intimidation is different between them, though. Louis is intimidated by the idea she won’t like Harry or think he’s not a good fit. Harry is intimidated by the omega thinking he’s not good enough.

“Louis, how about you go give CeCe some needed attention while I get to know your…alpha.”

Louis swallows the lump of protest. After prying his fingers from Harry’s grip, he eases out of the kitchen and searches out the Persian, who probably doesn’t even want to be bothered.

***

“I’ve never seen my son so happy. So, I will first start off by saying thank you for helping him live again.” She motions for Harry to sit at the island, and he does so skeptically. “I don’t really know how to react right this moment because this wasn’t ever really in the cards for Louis.”

She stares over at the walkway Louis left out of and frowns. “I really just want to know that you’re in it for the long haul.”

“Yes ma’am, I love your son, and I—”

“No, Harry, sweetie. This has nothing to do with me doubting your love for Louis. Or you making a vow to treat him with the utmost respect and love him unconditionally. No. This talk is me making sure that you know what you’re getting yourself into. This is me wanting to solidify from this moment forward—for the rest of your life—it will never be easy.” She rubs at her temples as she sighs deeply. “I’ve dealt with my son being ridiculed, mocked, bullied, and made a laughing stock. Had people stare at him like he was scum and needed to be locked away. Doctors and physicians pushing me to hand him over to the state so they could pick and prod at his little body. Restless nights of hearing him battle through problems he wouldn’t share with me. And that’s only what I’ve witnessed for myself. Louis doesn’t like to ask for help, and he bottles his feelings and emotions up as much as he can because it’s not _alpha_. His anxiety attacks can be debilitating. They suck the little life he has out of him and making him a zombie for weeks on end.” She finally stares at Harry head-on, a determined glint that makes him shudder internally. “I need to know that you can handle that. Because if you can’t, your mating with my son will not work, and it will not survive.”

Harry opens his mouth but shuts it soon after because the response he had aimed and ready evaporates. Instead, he can’t even come up with an answer good enough. “I—I don’t know.” He sighs, hanging his head in defeat.

“Great answer.” Is what she tells him, and Harry’s surprised that there is no condescension behind the words. “I would rather you be honest about not knowing than try and butter me up to believe you know what you’ve got yourself into.”

“I grew up with a father that despised same classification relationships. I remember being eight and having an innocent schoolyard crush on the town baker Mr. Andrews. And my father—who supposedly loves me unconditionally and would do anything to see me happy—told me with so much disgust that alphas with alphas was unnatural.” Harry frowns at the white tiled floor.

“It really fucked me up, excuse my language. And for the longest time, I despised them as well.” He looks up at the smiling woman, who reminds him so much of his mother he gets slightly homesick. “Louis kind of made me, in a good way, confront what I had spent so long ignoring.”

Her smile is ginormous now, stretched so far that her eyes crinkle just like Louis’ does. “I’m glad you felt comfortable telling me that, Harry, and I just want you to know that you have my blessing.”

He deflates, somewhat shocked he’d been so pent up in the first place. “Thank you, and I just still want to reiterate that Louis’ happiness and comfortability are all I want. I have a long way to go with my own baggage, but I really want us to get through it…together, as mates.”

“Beautiful Harry. I hope Houston has the answers he seeks and that maybe he will be able to get the closure he needs to feel comfortable in his skin. If not, I know that he has you, and that makes me rest a little easier with him being two-thousand miles away.”

“I hope he does too. He’s really excited, so I’m counting on the gods above to give him nothing but good news.”

“Was Houston your decision? I know my son like the back of my hand, and this trip is way out of his comfort zone.”

Harry’s itching to take credit away from Josh, but he knows that Louis would be pretty upset with him if he did. “Uh, no ma’am, it was another friend of his, Josh. He did the research and everything and convinced Louis to take that plunge.”

“Well, just another person I hope I’m able to meet soon.” She laughs. “I was so worried about him, and he’s doing better than fine.” Moving around to his space, she gives him a gentle hug.“You can stop eavesdropping Lou, he passed my test.”

Louis is sheepish when he inches back into the kitchen, a fluffy white cat in his arms, “Sorry, I just felt I needed to be close just in case you ran him off.”

She pats Harry on the shoulder and sways over to Louis, where she takes Cecelia and kisses Louis against his temple. “I’m happy for you, pup. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Louis tries so hard to hold back his tears, but when she lets CeCe jump from her arms and pulls him into a warm hug, he can’t hold them back any longer. “Love you, mom.”

***

“So … what all did you hear?”

Louis grabs Harry’s shaky hands and smiles. “Enough. But just know that I love you, and I know you’re trying.”

“I love you too, jellybean.” Harry whispers, pulling the boy into his arms and squeezing, “I really hope things work out in Houston. I just want you happy.”

Louis nuzzles Harry’s throat and then pulls away. “Even if they don’t have the answers, I’m plenty happy. All I really wanted for myself was to be able to settle down with someone I loved, and I got that.” He whines gently when Harry licks over his mark.

“Goodness, my initials look so good against your skin. Kind of makes me want to do some _things_ to you.”

Louis finally pushes Harry back with a stern gaze on his face. “In my mother’s house, on my childhood bed? Absolutely not.”

Harry pouts, long fingers dancing over Louis’ abdomen, “Come on, let me eat you out.”

“Harry, no. Her mom senses will tell her what we did, and I can’t even imagine doing something and looking her in the face after.” Louis said, the thought of it happening, causing a blush to journey over his cheeks.

“Fine, I’ll let this room keep its innocence, for now.”

Louis giggled quietly, smushing the alpha’s face, which made Harry lie flat on the full-size mattress. He was surprised his mom had okayed them sleeping in the same room. He could assume it was because they were already mated, and it didn’t make much sense to keep them apart.

“I’m so glad she likes you.”

“Me too. Can’t wait to rub it in Josh’s face.”

“Is that honestly your biggest concern, one-upping Josh?” Louis deadpans, a bored look at the bashful alpha

“Sorry,” Harry says with a breathy laugh, “He just … gets under my skin.”

“Well, he’s my friend. Everyone is cool with him except you. I don’t get it.”

Harry pulls Louis back into his chest so he can nuzzle his nose against their bond mark. “They’re not all mated to the most amazing boy in the world. It’s the alpha in me. Besides, you can’t judge me, seeing that you almost ripped Brandon to shreds.”

Louis growls rumbled throughout his chest quietly, the shock of it making Harry laugh against his neck. “Sorry I—”

“Baby, please don’t apologize. It’s such a turn-on.”

Louis smiles and snuggles back down into Harry’s arms. “Just be good. No fighting and bickering.”

“I’ll try and be on my best behavior,” Harry mumbled, kissing along the shell of Louis’ ear.

* * *

Houston is hot and humid but so welcoming when they step out onto the pick-up area. Josh is supposed to pick them up, so after checking his phone for the time, he directs them to a bench to sit down.

“I texted him right when we got off the plane, and he said he’d be here in thirty. So, not too long.”

“Okay.” Harry glanced around them, it’s relatively empty for a Saturday afternoon, and those who are waiting are leaving at a rapid pace.

Louis snakes his hand into Harry’s, but he frowns deeply when the older alpha pulls away. “You’re doing it again.” He sighs gently.

He scoots a few inches away from his mate, thankful that he had when Harry’s hand shoots out to comfort him. The hand that will try and settle his nerves and let him know he doesn’t find their relationship disgusting in private, only in open public spaces.

“Lou, please—”

Josh pulls up in a car that’s way too small for his body and beeps the horn twice. Saved by the bell, Louis thinks. He grabs up his duffle and eagerly shuffles his way to the small green Kia Rio. When the trunk is popped, Josh tumbles out of the car, surprising Louis when the alpha scoops him into a bear hug.

“Agi taeyang!” ( _Baby Sun:_ **아기** **태양** )

His hair is sweeping his shoulders, and his eyes, which reminds Louis of dark chocolate, twinkle like stars. He basks in this moment alone because Josh is an alpha who isn’t afraid to show his affection towards Louis. He reigns in those thoughts when Josh finally places his feet back on solid ground.

“Joshy,” he breathes almost silently, moving past the tall man to throw his bag in the open trunk. “I missed you.” He ignores Harry scoffing and grumbling behind him as he eyes the lean-figure.

“Missed you,” Josh sighs once again, wrapping his arms low on Louis’ waist and squeezing gently.

Harry growls, which makes both entwined bodies tense. “Alright, enough. Get off him.”

Louis throws Harry a dangerous glare, and these are the moments where they both feel most challenged. “How about you calm down,” Louis suggests, easing slowly out of Josh’s hold because if he’s frank, he would rather not start an all-out brawl in front of a Houston airport.

He finally breaks his agitated gaze away from Harry in favor of heading for the passenger seat. Until another threatening growl slips into the air and effectively stops Louis’ hand from reaching out for the handle. With a subtle eye roll, he gives Harry a bored scowl.

“No fucking way. In the back … with me.” Harry grits sternly.

Louis’ itching to disobey and the need to do so grows the more he finds himself wanting to submit. His fate is sealed and decided when Harry bares his canines, and with a groan, he yanks open the back door and plops down onto the cloth seat.

“You’re insufferable, alpha,” he mutters, blue eyes burning holes into the sidewalk.

“Hardly.”

Josh has kept silent, but from how tense his shoulders have become, Louis knows him well enough to know he’s probably itching to tell Harry off. That knowledge alone makes him wonder if inviting the two men was his best idea or not. They’ll be at each other’s throats the entire week, and it’s the last thing he wants to focus on or even worry about. His appointment with the clinic is early tomorrow morning, so he wants to shower, eat, and crash under crisp hotel linens the minute they get there.

The ride is quiet with an overlying stilted silence that comes from brooding. When they finally pull up to the hotel, Louis breathes in as much fresh air that he can because his stomach aches from just sitting amongst angry alphas. His heart is beating up into his throat, and his palms are so sweaty that when he presses them up against his clammy face, he shudders.

He goes to grab his bag from the trunk but notices Harry strutting stoically towards the hotel lobby with both bags in hand. He frowns but schools it into a poorly placed smile when Josh sidles up beside him with a half-hearted grin.

“You excited.”

Louis tears his eyes away from Harry’s shifting, broad back, and up to the smiling freshman. “Eh,” he says, a soft shoulder shrug.

“I won’t give him a hard time. I promise.”

“He’s just …” Louis doesn’t know what he wants to say, so he doesn’t say anything at all. “Never mind.”

“Come on, you’ve gotta get ready for your big day tomorrow.” Louis lets Josh pull him along reluctantly. He’s non-confrontational for the most part, so all the tension and obvious disdain being harbored between Harry and Josh isn’t doing that any good.

When they approach the front counter Louis’ blood finally boils over, and he instantly ditches the non-confrontational bit. It’s almost a double-take for Louis when he notices Harry chatting up the giggly omega behind the counter. He doesn’t realize the intensity of wanting to rip them both to shreds until he’s yanking his hand out of Josh’s grasp and stomping quickly over to his unperturbed mate.

When he growls low, and menacingly Harry’s body stills, and his head hunches in on itself. Louis doesn’t even give the man any time to explain and put his foot further in his mouth. He instead yanks the side of Harry’s shirt down that shows his mating mark, the _LT_ bright and burning against the Texas-tanned skin.

“He’s _taken_ ,” Louis growls, the omega behind the counter cowering back with terrified brown eyes.

“I’m—I’m sorry. I would never disrespect a mating mark. I just—”

“Two rooms, please.” Louis cuts off, fiery blues steadfast on the omega moving at rapid speed to produce key cards.

When he slides them across the granite countertop, Louis snatches them both up, ignoring the male flinch away. He grabs up his bag before Harry can and storms off towards the elevators, the two men hot on his heels.

“Lou, it wasn’t at all what yo—”

“Save it.” Louis hisses, a brief look at the keycard that has him pressing the number three dangerously hard.

Josh looks like he wants to say something, and Louis gives him a glare that has the fish-mouthing ceasing and the tall Korean looking at the changing numbers above.

When they step out onto their floor he tosses Harry a key card. When the alpha’s green eyes get large and glassy, Louis immediately looks away. He knows his resolve isn’t strong enough to face Harry head-on.

“You and Josh are roomies,” he tells the door he’s standing in front of, not the heavy-breathing man behind him.

“Lou, please.”

Louis slides the card across the electronic lock, pushes down on the handle, and before stepping over the threshold, pauses to give his mate a disgusted glance. “If you don’t get yourself under control, I will _sever_ this bond and be done with you.”

He doesn’t even allow a response, just quickly shuffles inside and slams his back against the closed door. His legs feel like Jell-O that’s on the brink of crumbling apart. He slides down to the floor as he hones in on his deafening heartbeat that slightly mimics rushing waves in his ears. The tears trickle like raindrops on a windowsill, slow downfalls that surprises him so suddenly that his choked up sob tumbles out of his mouth on its own. He slaps his hands over his mouth and cries gently into the slippery palms.

“I can’t do this,” he mutters in the quiet room. “I’m not—fuck.” He groans almost too quietly, the tremble in his hands playing morse code against his wet cheeks.

Louis allowed his lead-filled head to thump against the door, cloudy eyes drifting over the popcorn ceiling that seems to roll like a wave and make him even more nauseous. When the bile begins to bubble in his stomach, he lolls his head to the side to stare at the dark carpet.

He needs to pull himself together, not for his relationship, but for himself. He hates to even _think_ about the idea of severing his bond with Harry, but if it does come down to that, Louis has to be comfortable with who he is and not who he is when attached to Harry. Houston could have the answers for him that he’s lived his entire life without; trouble with Harry wouldn’t rain on that.

So pulling himself up off the floor, he goes about winding down for the night and preparing himself for tomorrow. His appointment at the clinic is at eight, and he’s expected to go through a fair bit of bloodwork and testing, so he’s needs all the rest he can manage. The need to check on Harry is there, but his nerves regarding tomorrow prevent him from checking on the alpha, which is exactly what he prefers.

***

“This is all your fault.” Harry hissed, darkened jade eyes resting on a surprised Josh.

“How is, you getting caught flirting with the receptionist _my_ fault?”

“Because I was just doing it to piss Louis off, and I only wanted to piss him off because of how lovey-dovey you two were acting at the airport.”

Josh’s face is scrunched up in disbelief, which has Harry turning away to stare angrily at the bed. “That sounds so fucked that I’m not even going to give you the pleasure of a logical response.”

“Stay away from my boyfriend.” Harry growled, “He belongs to me, and me only.”

“He isn’t your fucking property!” Josh shouted, storming over to Harry and pushing so deep into his space that not only are Harry’s senses on high alert but so is his inner alpha. “How about you stop thinking about your fucking self for one damn minute!”

“How about—” Harry pushed hard at Josh’s heaving chest, “—you back the fuck off me. We are _mates_ , so, therefore, he is mine.”

Josh laughs, but it isn’t all chummy and goodhearted. Instead, it’s a disdainful and haughty chuckle. “You’re so comfortable with staking claim in front of me but have no problem disrespecting him amongst strangers.” Josh moves into the middle of the room. “You can flirt openly with an omega you barely know but draw the line at showing your _mate_ any form of public affection.” His scoff is loud and patronizing. “If only Zayn could see you now.”

Harry pauses, his mind going blank for a split second in time. “What did you say?”

Josh must realize the implication of his last sentence because, for a brief minute, his eyes widen, and he turns away from the fuming brunette. “Nothing.”

“Fuck, no!” Harry sneers, wrapping a hand around the man’s shoulder and yanking him back. “What the hell do you mean by if _Zayn_ could see me now?”

“Nothing!” Josh stresses, pulling away from the alpha again. “It’s not my business to tell.”

Harry literally has to keep his back pressed up against the internal door of rage. The rage begging and beating relentlessly to be let free. He could unleash it onto the unsuspecting man before him and deal with Louis’ scolding, or he could calm himself down and ask Louis tomorrow. It’s the latter that gets decided for him when Josh shuffles his way into the bathroom.

Harry plops down on the stiff comforter and instantly harps on what Josh said. His skin crawls with the underlying fear that his friends are keeping secrets behind his back. Secrets that they feel comfortable sharing with Josh, a menace to his entire well-being. Whatever it is, he has the right to know, and he’ll make sure Louis comes clean about it.

***

Despite everything that happened yesterday evening, Louis is so optimistic about the clinic. He’s so shaken up with happiness and mild uncertainty that he cleans his room and organizes his clothes at six in the morning. The light tap against the door surprises him when he’s fluffing the bed pillows, and he doesn’t want to deal with who he knows is behind that door.

“Josh?” Louis says softly.

The tall man holds up a Starbucks bag and a bottle of orange juice. “Post-clinic brain food, if that even makes sense,” he whispers, a deprecating chuckle attached at the end.

Louis pulls the freshman into his room with a bright smile, “Perfect sense.” He makes grabby hands for the bag. The minute it’s in his grasp, he opens it to find his usual breakfast: two cake pops and a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant. “Thank you, Joshy.”

“Of course, Lou.” Josh smiles down at the boy who’s already munching away.“Anything for you.”

Louis grins around a mouthful of breakfast sandwich. “I’m so nervous. I’ve been up since six.” Louis laughs, a small headshake when he realizes how that sounds out loud.

“Good nerves, right?”

“Absolutely.”

Josh sits down, and when he knocks his knee against Louis’ the smaller alpha smiles. “I have something to tell you.”

The queasiness instantly begins to bloom in the lower belly of Louis’ stomach. “Is it bad?”

“Um, I guess. I just—I know I said I wouldn’t provoke Harry, and I didn’t, but I may have _hinted_ that I know something he doesn’t know.”

Louis groans, “Oh god no!?”

“I just implied that Zayn said something about him.”

“What!” Louis stood from the bed and turned a scolding glare onto a cowering Josh, “Why would you—” his groan was long and troubled. “—I told you that in private, not for you to tell my boyfriend behind my back. And it wasn’t Zayn, it was me who said it. Why would—” Louis groans once more.

Josh stood abruptly, crowding in on a pacing Louis. “I didn’t say anything. I just told him it wasn’t my business to tell.”

“But Josh, now he knows that there _is_ business to be told, and I only said that shit to Zayn because well, I was—”

“You were what, Louis?” Josh sighed deeply, steadying the panicky boy before him. He rubs gently at his arms, “You were starting to realize that being with him isn’t all that great.”

Louis’ eyes widen, and he backs away quickly, “No, that’s not true,” he whispers.

Josh, for the first time since Louis has known him, growls, “Yes it is, and I can’t understand why you still make excuses for him!” when Louis backs away some more, Josh doesn’t pursue him, heading for the door instead. “I’ll skip out on today. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your day with the alpha who can’t even kiss you in fucking public.”

Louis reaches out for the heated man, “Josh, wait—”

“Save it, Louis,” he mutters before leaving out.

Louis doesn’t have much time to think about Josh because it’s about five minutes later there’s another knock at his door. He pulls himself together and opens the door to a sheepish Harry who has a plate of food in one hand and paper cups of what he assumes is coffee in the other.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, extending the offering out towards Louis, who can’t help but smile.

He moves back to let Harry inch inside, “I’m still pretty upset. Food won’t save you.”

Harry sets the plate and cups down onto the bedside table before turning and crowding into Louis’ space. “I did it because I wanted to piss you off. Seeing you with Josh at the airport, especially after what I did, just—”

“So instead of using your adult words, you decided flirting publicly with some _stranger_ was the best way to let me know you were bothered.” He deadpans.

“Louis, I think I should establish that I am not a passive guy. I’m very territorial, and it has intensified since we mated, so seeing you hug up on him and act like you do, isn’t helping me at all.”

Louis scoffs. A soft, sarcastic chuckle on the edges. “Boo-fucking-hoo.”

Harry scowls, hands itching to get on Louis’ body to exert his dominance. “How can you not see where I’m coming from?”

“Oh no, Harry. I see exactly where you’re coming from. I just can’t believe that you _think_ I’m supposed to be okay with how you handled it all because you’re jealous of an alpha who would show me off to the world in a heartbeat.”

Harry grabs him this time, large hands wrapping around supple and small biceps. “You don’t think I want to show you off? You don’t think I want to scream to the rooftops you’re mine?” Louis doesn’t answer, just tries to tug his way out of Harry’s arms. “I want it more than you know, and I’m sorry if, more times than not, it doesn’t seem that way.” He pulls Louis close again, “But baby, I swear on everything I love, you’re it for me. I don’t want anybody or anyone else. It’s you, Louis.”

Louis has been so busy counting the little red dots scattered across the plush carpet that when a lone teardrop splatters on his hand, it catches him so off guard he jumps. Harry’s eyes are dripping wet. Round, and big with bubbles of teardrops making their plummet down his cheeks. Some free fall to their demise, and others get lost in the bush surrounding his jaw.

He breaks. The last time he saw Harry cry was when they sealed their fate as mates for life. “Baby,” he breathes out softly, shaky hands cupping Harry’s wet face.

“I’m so fucking sorry, jellybean. Last night was one of the worst fucking nights of my life, and knowing it was my fault we weren’t together made it even worse.”

“Enough with the pity party Harry, just, don’t ever do that shit again. I don’t want Josh, I want you—I _mated_ with you.”

Harry hugs Louis from his waist, which makes his oversized body hunch over. His chin presses into Louis’ right shoulder as he pulls the lithe body as close as he can get it. “Never again. The dumbest mistake of my life.”

“Dumbest.” Louis parrots, kissing gently at Harry’s scruff.

***

“Are you sure we shouldn’t wait for—”

“He isn’t coming, and honestly it’s for the best. I would also like for you just drop me off, and I call you to pick me up after.” Louis rushes out. He keeps his eyes on his phone that’s displaying the directions to the clinic.

“What—are you sure?” Harry asks, eyes drifting away from the road briefly to gauge Louis’ facial expressions.

“Um, yeah. I just think I want to do this … on my own.”

“O-Okay, uh, whatever you want.” Louis smiles over at Harry for a split moment before he’s watching the little blue arrow again.

When they pull up to the address, Louis is more than intimidated. It’s a blinding white high-rise building with _NorthWest_ _Houston ABO Research Clinic_ in chunky black letters right above the doors. He shivers as he stares at the daunting black doors, and the longer he stares, the more he gets cold feet.

“I don’t know if I can,” he whispers, so caught up in eyeing the building that he lets Harry scoop his gelid hand up in a loose grasp.

“It’ll be fine. I can come with you if you wa—”

“No. I need—this has to be done on my own.” Louis says determinedly, pulling his hand from Harry’s and using it to open the car door. “I’ll text you when I’m ready, okay.”

Harry frowns, worried eyes skittering over Louis’ shaky frame. “Yeah, okay.” He leans over into the passenger seat, “I-I love you, baby. If you need anything, please call me.”

Louis’ eyes don’t widen because of the love confession. They expand because that simple statement has his body relaxing instantly. A content feeling settling his stomach and his rushing thoughts. “I love you too, alpha.”

Harry's pupils dilate, and for a brief moment, Louis honestly thinks the man will take him right here on the street. “Get inside, jellybean.” Is the gruff reply he gives, and Louis can’t help but back away from the car and listen.

* * *

The outside doesn’t do the inside of the facility any justice. Warm undertones greet him—deep mahogany paired prettily with champagne white and delta blues. The room he’s standing in smells like toasty pumpkin and the pictures littered across the walls are of downtown Houston. His approach to the front desk is slow and steady.

The man behind the desk is heavy-set and smiling. His auburn hair is in a short cut and spiked at the front, and he’s got vibrant hazel irises that whole so much welcome that it helps Louis inch closer. “Hello,” he speaks softly, the tone matching the ambiance around them. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Uh, yes. I’m—uh—Louis Tomlinson. I have an appointment with Dr. James.”

He types at the computer, and it takes him a minute, but once he’s found what he was looking for, his bright smile is back on Louis. “Yes, just have a seat, and they’ll call you back shortly.”

“Okay, thanks.” Louis’ smile is brief as he turns on his heels and finds a seat in the corner.

He powers his phone off to keep away from texting anyone, specifically texting Harry to come pick him up. After he’s looked through every magazine readily available to him, the black door just off from the receptionist desk opens. A middle-aged African-American man pokes his head out with a blinding Colgate smile.

“Louis Tomlinson?”

Louis stands quickly and shuffles towards the open door. When he’s close enough to smell the man’s cologne, he speaks. “Hello.”

“Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you.” He’s a stunning man, broad and tall with a clean-shaven face. Rich, brown eyes that are just as welcoming as the man at the front counter had been.

“Uh, you too.” Louis whispers.

They walk down an empty hallway before coming upon a staircase. The staircase leads to another long hallway that they take for a short while until they reach another black door with TESTING in the center. Louis swallows the building worry and focuses on the doctor before him.

The man turns slightly and gives Louis another comforting grin. “Don’t worry, we just need to do some bloodwork and ABO testing that will help us get you the answers you’re eager for. I know in your emails we spoke briefly about your struggles and condition, but this will help us pin down what exactly we’re dealing with.”

“You’re not going to sterilize me, are you?” Louis questions softly, and he’s surprised by the sadness looming in the doctor’s eyes, “Uh, sorry I—”

“No, don’t apologize. I completely understand why you would ask,” he replies quickly. Louis sits down before he continues talking. “We aren’t here to erase or eradicate those who are different than the societal norm. We are here to educate, preserve, and uplift all classifications and human beings that fall out of the bubble society has constructed.”

“I’ve been this way since ... forever. Countless trips and hours spent in doctor's offices with them telling us the same thing.”

He frowns over to Louis as he sets out the vials and needles to draw blood, “We’ve only been around for almost four years now. I’m sorry you had to spend your entire life seeking answers, and I hope that your time here will finally bring you peace.”

Louis can only smile because the pressing need to cry is sitting dormant in his throat, and he knows that if he even attempts to speak, it will come out a blubbery, scratchy mess. He hopes Dr. James is right and that he _will_ finally get the peace he’s so desperate to experience. He just wants a small sliver of what everyone else in the world gets to have.

***

After bloodwork, Louis has to partake in a head-to-toe physical. Once he’s been examined by a slew of nurses, he’s taken to a completely different sector for an agility screening. Fighting through shallow breaths that highlight his out-of-shape body, he waits to speak with their on-call therapist. The last therapist he’d seen just wanted to pump him full of drugs and told him his problems were all in his head. He shudders as he remembers what it’d been like with Dr. Adams.

When the door opens, he tenses up and can’t help but build a wall that will keep him safe from unwarranted judgment. She’s short, maybe even shorter than him, and she smells like sugary tangerine, which means she’s an omega. He’s somewhat surprised that she’s excreting so much of her natural scent. In the amount of time he’s known Zayn, he’s only smelt the man’s natural scent a handful of times, and it’s usually due to Liam’s presence.

“Would you prefer I tampered down my scent?” she asks him quietly, a small smile gracing her plum-painted lips. Her hijab is black with gold designs throughout, and the lab coat she’s draped in makes Louis feel like this isn’t just an ordinary therapy session.

“Um, no. I’m sorry if I seemed shocked. It’s just, usually, omegas hide them.”

“I know. Lucky for me though, I don’t work with knotheads. Only competent professionals for me.”

Louis surprises himself when he giggles, that he places his hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”

Her smile grows, “No, don’t apologize. Laughter is good.” She takes off the stark-white doctor’s coat, and Louis feels slightly better from that alone. He expects her to sit down behind the white desk but she joins him on the loveseat instead. “Is this okay?”

He’s only nodding crazily before he blushes and speaks. “Um, yes. It’s a first for me…”

“Louis, I want you comfortable. I can just tell from your body language you’re far from it.” Her laugh is light, helping the remaining apprehension in his bones dissipate. “Tell me what you need to be comfortable.”

“This is good—no—this is great,” Louis responds, his sincerity blatant as he relaxes back into the gray cushions.

“Good.” She pulls her legs up to sit crisscrossed, “I’m Dr. Raja, and I’ve read your case file, so I know all the medical background. But now I want to know the personal background if you’re willing to share.”

Louis hasn’t felt more content, so he’s more than willing. And being willing has him telling her everything under the sun, from his relationship with his mother, his absent father, the struggles he faced growing up, and even Harry.

“Did your mom ever tell you anything about your father?”

“Just that he was a useless alpha, and the only good thing he did was give her me. When I was sixteen, she asked me if I wanted her to contact him so we could meet. I told her no.”

“So you have no need to meet the man who helped make you?”

“Nope. That’s all he did was _make_ me. I don’t need to see the bastard to thank him for popping his knot.” Louis blushes, chin pressing to his upper chest, “Sorry.”

She laughs with a shake of her head, “Do not apologize for your truth Louis. It’s wonderful.” Once their laughter calms, she moves on, “I want to talk about your mate, Harry.”

Louis’ smile returns immediately, and the expression is mirrored back to him by Dr. Raja. “He’s great.”

“You two were roommates in college, correct?”

“Mhmm. Polar opposites.”

“You two are very young, was mating a mutual decision?”

“Um, kind of.” Louis contemplates his next sentence. “Well, I mean, it was, but I can’t help but think whatever is wrong with me played a role as well.”

“Example?”

“My bond mark has scent pheromones, like an omega.”

She nods slowly, “I saw that … in your file.” She flips through the folder with his last name in thin black letters. “Do you think Harry’s love for you is genuine, or biology mistaking you for something you are not?”

Louis thinks first before replying, “I don’t know. I mean, when I’m with him, it does feel genuine. But other times, when he seems put off by our relationship, I can’t help but think otherwise.”

“Put off how?”

“Well, it’s nothing detrimental. Just that he never wants to show … PDA.”

She looks stumped, “PDA?”

“I know it’s stupid and not even something that should bother me, but—”

“It does.” She adds in, nodding along with him, “Have you two ever talked about where that stems from?”

“His childhood. His father disapproves of same classification relationships, and it kind of morphed how he looked at them as well.”

“But he’s with you, another alpha.”

“Yeah, I know, which seems monumental, but really isn’t. I mean—” Louis feels the embarrassment flare over the back of his neck and wind around to cup his face. “—I think he can look past the fact that my classification is alpha because I look nothing like one. Which doesn’t bother me much, but kind of makes me think he sees me as an omega.”

“Which you don’t like?”

“Oh, no. I mean—well, um. Uh, I don’t know really. My body is so mixed up that I don’t know what fits _me_.”

She moves around, “Well, let me give you a scenario.” She moves around some more as she thinks, her head lifted slightly to the ceiling. “What if out of nowhere you just started becoming more of an alpha. Your knot grew to its normal size, and you began showcasing typical alpha traits. Then Harry, out of the blue, decides it’s just too much, and he wants to sever the bond mark. What happens then?”

Louis hates the panic that fills him up inside, curses the tears prickling at the edges of his eyes over a fucking scenario. But, he knows why it really bothers him, why he’s so upset. It’s because it may be only a scenario now, but somewhere down the line, it could be his future. “I-I don’t know.”

“I’m not trying to make you upset, Louis. I just want to give you perspective and help you gain a life outside of the one you’ve started so … prematurely.”

“I understand, and I think I’m more upset at it being a possibility.”

“You and Harry are probably head over heels and that’s great. And I’m not advocating for you to end your relationship. Just maybe consider severing your bond until you have a clearer understanding and grasp on who _you_ are.”

“But I-I love him, and he loves me.” Louis shakes his head gently before the movement builds, and it feels like his vision is in a tidal wave. “What if—” he stops himself from revealing what he’d only thought up in his mind. “Nothing.”

Louis can tell she wants to press him for more, but she sighs and stares up at the clock instead. “It’s almost one o’clock, we’ll end things here, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Louis gives her a small smile and a halfhearted wave. To keep the unanswered questions he has for himself at bay, he powers his phone back on and texts Harry that he’s ready. When he settles back down in the same chair from earlier, waiting for the alpha to arrive, the running thoughts consume him.

***

The minute Louis sees Harry’s warm smile and comforting green eyes, he wants to cry. When the smile drops and the comfort turns to worry, he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop the pitiful whine from tumbling out.

Harry waits until he’s buckled in before he speaks. “Didn’t go so well?”

Louis swallows twice, once to replenish the saliva that had dried up and once for the growing lump. “C-can we go somewhere? Like just drive until we find a park or something?”

Harry frowns, which makes Louis stare out the window instead. “Okay.”

They don’t drive for long before coming up on a quaint little park. There’s a large grassy field encircled by a sidewalk, with a few park benches and picnic tables littered throughout the open space. Louis’ so caught in his own head that when Harry interlocks their fingers, it surprises him. He smiles up at Harry, who looks even more worried than earlier. The growing guilt helps him pull the alpha towards a weathered bench so he can get all the word vomit out of his stomach and into the open.

It takes Louis longer than he expects to build up the courage to speak, and it’s even more of a challenge when Harry’s smiling with care. “I … uh.”

“Just tell me this. Was it worth it?”

Louis looks out at the Houston sun and uses the blinding light to help him speak. “It was great. I did a lot of testing, and they took some blood, all the stuff I’m pretty much use too.”

“That’s good, jellybean.” Harry breathes, unaware that Louis still has another shoe to drop.

“Yeah, and it was the most calm I felt when it comes to doctors and testing. Everyone was so nice and understanding.” He focuses on Harry’s thumb rubbing along the inseam of his hand. “I also spoke with—with a therapist.”

The faint rubbing ceases, “Oh … yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How was that?”

“It was … better than I expected. She was amazing and probably the best one I’ve ever had in my life. She listened and made me feel valid.”

Harry sighs and squeezes gently at Louis’ hand. “That’s awesome, Lou. It’s all I ever wanted for you.”

Louis’ able to give the alpha a warm grin of his own before he remembers what she’d suggestedfor them. He can’t help but look at the bite marring Harry’s skin. “She said that we should break our bond.” He’s still staring at the mating bite when Harry’s hand slips from his and instead covers the mark, blocking the branded skin from eyesight.

“What the fuck! Can she say that?”

“I don’t know … I didn’t ask,” Louis whispered, his eyes finally resting on the groves and bumps in the wooden bench.

“Our relationship is none of her business. What would that do for you!” Harry rants.

“I don’t know.” Harry stands abruptly, and Louis can’t help but watch him with bated breath. The alpha has always had a short fuse. “Harry, please.”

“Please what, Louis?” Harry stresses, wild eyes flicking over the shaky male. “Please be okay with some stranger trying to tear my world apart.”

Louis licks his lips slowly, “It’s my world too.”

“So you _like_ her idea?” Harry accuses, a deprecating laugh just after his words, “Been here one fucking day, and you’re ready to wipe your hands of this—of us!”

Louis glanced around, worried that their spat would garner them unwanted attention. “I never said that. I just … I wanted to talk about it with you like adults.”

Harry grips at his curls, and when he blinks, Louis’ heart constricts at the two tears that fall down his cheeks. He takes another moment to compose himself, eyes squeezed shut as he levels his breathing. “What all did she say. Word for word Louis.”

Louis holds back another whine. “She-she said that we’re young. Said that our mating could’ve just been … instinct.”

“Fuck that!” Harry interjects heatedly. He shakes his head fiercely. “I love you, Louis. Mark or no mark, I love you and want everything with you!”

Louis’ crying along with Harry now, “I love you too, alpha.” He mutters quietly.

Harry drops down in front of Louis, eyes wide and searching, “Then why does it feel like you’re considering it.”

Louis can’t look into the emeralds for long because his nausea begins to build, “Because... what if she’s right Harry, and as much as it hurts me to say that it had to be said.”

Louis only turns back when Harry’s not in front of him anymore but instead storming off. He’s so shocked that he just watches Harry walk away for a minute. “Where are you going?” he yells.

When he gets no response, and Harry’s pace actually quickens, he lets a quiet whine fall past his lips. He buckles when a sharp pain shoots through his heart, little needles that stab at him repeatedly when Harry doesn’t even falter at the sound. His vision is completely blurred by the time he makes out Harry getting into the car.

Louis lets his fingers dance over his trembling lips. Uses the slick digits to pull at the partially wet flesh because it’s the only thing stopping him from screaming to the top of his lungs. He calls the only person that he can.

“Josh.” He whispers over the phone line when it clicks, “I-I need you … please.”

“Where are you?”

Louis searches for a street sign, and when Josh has all the direction he needs, he tells Louis he’ll be on his way. “Please hurry,” he emphasizes lightly.

The moment Louis recognizes Josh’s lanky form exiting a blue Camry, he sprints through the park as fast as he can. The wind against his face makes the dripping tears ice cold against his sun-heated face. They both stumble as Louis crashes into him, but Josh quickly recovers and wraps the smaller male close.

“Agi taeyang.” Josh breathes into Louis’ neck, “You’re shaking.”

When Josh lets Louis go, the alpha refuses, whining so long and desperately that Josh tenses. “No, please. Please don’t let me go—don’t let me.”

Louis holds on for what seems like forever, and he’s just glad that Josh stays completely still and lets him have this moment. Allows Louis to rely on someone else other than himself. It hurts because he wants the body he’s holding to be Harry’s, his mate—his alpha.

Once his breathing is steady and not as shallow, he steps back. “Thank you.”

Josh rubs at his forearms, “Of course. I’d do anything for you, Louis.”

Louis tries to get his lip to tilt up in a smile, but he can’t. “I know.”

Josh drags him to a bench, not the one he sat at with Harry, which shouldn’t mean anything, but it does. “We can talk, or we can just sit.”

”Just sit for now.”

Louis uses the surrounding silence to center himself. His senses calling on the warming sun, winding breeze, and lulls of nature to calm his restless mind. He’s got his eyes closed and face upturned towards the sky when Josh pulls him close, tucks his small body under his arm, and makes Louis feel safe.

“Thanks for coming. I hope you know that I really do appreciate you. You mean so much to me, and I wouldn’t be here without you. Oh, and I-I’m sorry about this morning.”

Josh presses his rosy lips into Louis’ skull, “This trip shouldn’t be focused on any sort of drama, so I’m sorry too. I just want you to get the help you deserve and be happy.”

“The session was good, great actually—but—I spoke with a therapist, and she suggested that I … that Harry and I … sever our mark.”

He moves away, and Louis wants to chase after his retreating body. “Shit.”

“Yeah, and I told Harry, and he wasn’t—” Louis stops short because he‘s not trying to cry again. “—He wasn’t too happy with her advice.”

“And you?”

“I mean, I love Harry, and I do see myself with him forever, but I kind of agreed with her. What if we did rush our mating, and he—er, we—decide later on that it’s all too much.”

“Lou, that’s the future. You can’t put all your final decisions on something that may or may not happen. I mean, I’m not Harry’s biggest fan, but I don’t think you should assume the worse about him.”

Louis nods, and he looks up at Josh. “You’re always the voice of reason, Joshy. Even when I know it does you no favors. I love that about you—I love you.”

Josh is kissing Louis so suddenly that it takes him a second to grasp what is beginning to transpire. He pushes the boy back harshly, placing a hand immediately over his mouth. And not only because of what just happened but also because his stomach is rolling. That need to vomit re-emerging, and he just really wishes he could catch a fucking break.

“What are you doing!” he hisses, standing to his feet so quickly that he wobbles. He steps further back when Josh reaches out to steady him.

“Lou, I-I’m so sorry, I just—it was an accident, I swear.”

“Why would you … I—fuck!” Louis cries pitifully, turning on his heels and rushing away. He just needs to get far away from this new intruding problem that he can’t deal with right now.

* * *

Louis’ world crumbled on Monday, and it’s Wednesday now. He’s been avoiding it all for the sake of his own mental and emotional health. After taking an Uber back to the hotel and coming to grips with what Josh did, he makes the alpha promise not to tell Harry. Louis all demands that Josh keep his distance from him as well, at least until he can approach the situation in a adult fashion.

Harry has still been giving Louis the silent treatment. Had the kiss not transpired, it would’ve bothered Louis. However right now, the distance is for the best. He can only focus on getting the answers and help he needs right now, and the two alphas fighting and begging for his attention aren’t going to get it right now.

“So your alpha friend, Josh, who has been a constant supporter of your success, kissed you.”

“Mhmm.”

Dr. Raja taps at her chin, finger running briefly over the edges of her navy blue head covering. “You were pretty pissed, I bet.”

Louis smiles, “I wanted to rip him in half. I just—I just don’t understand why he would...”

“Louis, can I be honest with you?”

His eyes widened before he blushes and looks towards the windows, “I guess so.”

“You are a very handsome young man. Usually, we fail to see ourselves as others see us, and we are quick to point out flaws and parts of ourselves that we hate. But others see what we see and fall—” she snaps her fingers “—instantly.”

She shifts her body, “It’s even more heightened in our society because of our classifications. I say that to just say, don’t diminish your beauty. Now, what Josh did was out of line and puts you in an awkward position, yes. But from what you’ve shared with me about him, he has always been vocal about his feelings for you, and although it was wrong, it isn’t a surprise that he blurred the lines.”

”So, it’s my fault?” Louis eases.

”Absolutely not. Josh knew what he was doing and regardless of what he might’ve thought you’d do, he crossed a line.”

“I’m scared to tell Harry.”

“Why?”

“Because he hates Josh, and this would just be the icing on the cake.”

“So are you more worried that your relationship with Josh will be affected, or your relationship with Harry?”

“Both, I guess. I mean, I just want everyone to get along.”

“You have two men head over heels for you, Lou. There will never be a moment of them getting along. Alphas are a very troubled breed, in my opinion. And not in a bad way but in a way that they cannot always control. Emotions are constantly high, and reasoning can be muddled by the need to exert not only dominance but claim.” She pauses, looks at him with a neutral smile that has just a few hints of sadness. “Harry will never get along with an alpha who adamantly wants his mate.”

They sit in silence, almost as if to let her last statement resonate deeper. It kind of does for Louis, helps him start to realize this entire idea of them being the three musketeers was doomed from the start.

“I feel like if I tell him, he’ll kill him. I don’t want him to do anything stupid.”

“You have to tell him. The sooner, the better. As long as Harry loves you and doesn’t doubt your relationship, it'll be fine. You also need to reaffirm the boundaries between you and Josh.”

“Thanks. I didn’t mean to spend the entire time talking about my drama, but I just needed…”

“A listening ear—and that’s what I’m here for. Our time together doesn’t have to be about just your body. It can also be about you and your life as a whole.”

Louis’ cheeks flush with blood, and he gazes at the clock, “I’m forever grateful.”

“Good,” she nudges his knee, which draws his attention back to her. “So, a little flash forward for the rest of the week. You get tomorrow off, and Dr. James expects the lab to have your blood results finalized Friday. He and I plan to go over them beforehand to be prepared with answers for you. So just get some rest, talk with Harry and Josh, and I I’ll see you Friday.”

Louis stood and gathered Dr. Raja in a loose hug. “Sounds great, thanks again and I’ll see you Friday.”

***

Harry’s pacing outside of Louis’ door because he’s sure the boy is back from his appointment, but then again, he doesn’t know. The only thing he can really focus on is smoothing things over with Louis and, for once, not centering Louis’ crucial moment around him and his insecurities.

“Why the hell are you out here pacing like a knothead?”

Harry scowled, turning around and coming face to face with Josh. “It’s like you’re this terrible pest I just can’t seem to get rid of.”

“Talking real ballsy for someone who left their mate who they’re head over heels for. Every time I think I can’t peg you anymore right, you raise the bar.”

“Oh, so let me guess he called you to come put the pieces back together. You’re the perfect lapdog _Joshy_.”

“Fuck you,” Josh snarled, stepping deeper into Harry’s space. “Louis called me because he knew that he could count on me. He knew that I wouldn’t put him on the back burner.”

“I really wish you would stay the fuck out of our relationship. Louis doesn’t want you for the last fucking time! He wants _me_ , he’s mated to me, like, what part of that do you not understand?”

Josh rolled his eyes, “Dude, how about you get your fucking head out of your ass and stop thinking that you’re Louis’ personal gift from the gods.” Josh paused, attempting to hold back what he wanted to reveal. “You know what, fuck it. Because I cannot sit and let you walk around with this almighty feeling—”

“What in the hell are you rambling about?”

“Louis told Zayn that he doesn’t think you two will even last.”

Harry stumbles back, the bullet-shaped words that literally bust open his skin and wedge themselves into his heart burn like fire. “You’re a liar.” He retorts, so noncommittally that he doesn’t believe his statement himself.

“He said you were _too_ normal. Too much of a fucking people pleaser.”

Harry only sees red after that, and soon he and the other alpha are tussling in the vacant hallway of their hotel floor. Harry punches faster and harder as the building need to cry swells. Pummeling at Josh’s sides with all his might as the words play on a loop in his head.

“What the hell are you two knotheads doing!”

They instantly break apart, heaving bodies honing in on a frowning Louis, who is also accompanied by nosy heads peeking out of rooms. Harry pushes Josh back and storms towards a stunned Louis.

“We need to talk, like, _now_.” Harry grabs Louis’ hand and pulls the alpha towards his room door.

Louis yanks his hand out of Harry’s, and he’s turning to check on Josh when Harry growls. It doesn’t faze him too much as he sends his own threatening rumble back. “I’m going to check on my friend first.” He hissed, walking towards the alpha who still looks ready to rip Harry apart.

“What the fuck?”

Josh shrugs, looking down the hallway to avoid Louis’ concerned eyes. “Go talk to him. It’s pretty important.”

Louis can’t question Josh longer because he’s heading for his own room. Harry, who is still also on edge, is looming behind him, waiting. A subtle groan slips past his downturned lips as he pushes past Harry. It’s easy to be a jerk towards the alpha because Louis’ still pretty bothered with Harry’s attitude as of late.

When they’re both inside, Louis plops down on the bed and examines Harry pacing erratically. “It seems very weird to me that you get to be upset and angry when you left me at the park and have also been avoiding me like the plague.”

Harry finally stops his aimless walking, eyes big and surprised as he watches Louis sit with a large frown on his lips and his arms crossed. His chuckle isn’t the least bit funny when he lets it loose. “You have some fucking nerve.”

Louis’ eyes are now also big in return, “What!?”

“You heard me.” He growled. “To think I was over here beating myself up for being upset about us splitting, and you were pretty much writing it in stone from the start.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please don’t, Louis. Please don’t make me pull it out of you.” Harry stresses with a soft whine.

Louis’ frown at this point is more prominent. “Harry, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

The alpha pulls at his curls, breathing so irregular that he focuses on leveling it out first before anything else. When he’s positive he isn’t about to pass out, he swallows to clear out his cotton mouth. “Josh told me what you told Zayn. How you never even expected us to last because apparently, I‘m too normal and incapable of staying in this relationship.” His chuckle is bitter. “And that’s so funny, seeing that I’ve been here trying my fucking best to show you that I’m fucking in this with you!”

Louis’ brain turned to mush in an instant. “How—who—”

“Who do you think!” Harry sneered, turning on his heels and leaving out.

Louis stands abruptly, “Fuck!” he groans, also heading for the door. He’s not surprised the hall is empty, but he’s not searching for Harry. He knocks twice on the opposite door, and the minute it’s cracked, he pushes it open and punches pitifully at Josh’s right shoulder. “You had no fucking right!”

“He was going to find out eventually,” Josh muttered.

“No,” Louis shook his head determinately, “No, he wouldn’t have because Zayn would never, and he’s the only person I told.”

“That’s funny because I seem to know as well.”

Louis growled. A sound that had Josh’s back straightening. “I told you as a friend, not for you to use it as your personal one-up on my alpha.”

“Why are you so worked up over this! It says more about you and how you feel about your mating than it does about me telling him!”

“That isn’t true, Josh! I said that shit when things with Harry and I didn’t seem tangible.” Louis deflates with a long sigh, “When I was so insecure about me that I allowed those thoughts to eat at me. But now I’m—I’m good.”

Josh also lets his shoulders relax. “I’m sorry Louis, I just …”

“You’re jealous, and it was partially my fault for invalidating those feelings of yours over my own personal ones.”

Josh pulls Louis into a hug, “That’s pretty accurate. And that’s why I told. Because, like you said, I’m a jealous knothead who will always be slightly bothered that he got you and I didn’t.”

“Your soulmate is out there, don’t lose all hope,” Louis tells him with a smirk. He eases out of the hold, “I’m gonna go find Harry, and I would recommend you disappear for the rest of the night because I’m telling him about the kiss.”

Josh locks on to Louis’ wrist, “Why would you do that?”

“Because I don’t want any more secrets between us. I love him, and he has a right to know.” He pulls out of the grip and leaves.

The alpha is sat on the curb in the parking lot by the rental car. Louis shivers in sadness and discomfort. He never expected Harry to find out about something he couldn't even fathom thinking now. Harry isn’t perfect, but neither is he, and even though the going gets tough and he can’t make out the light at the end of the tunnel, he wouldn’t want to search for that light with anyone else.

“I’m sorry.” Harry’s head rises briefly before he frowns and lets it fall back down. “Alpha, I said I’m sorry.” Louis repeats, steady steps towards the hunched body.

“I heard you.”

By the time Louis reaches Harry, the male hasn’t said anything else. He eases down on the curbside, leaving a little breathing room between their bodies. “I said that shit to Zayn when we’d just mated, and things were not … _ideal_.”

“Could’ve said it at the very beginning or just now. What matters is that it was a thought in your head.”

“The key word is ‘it was’. I don’t think that now, and Harry, you have to give me some slack. I mean, you can _barely_ hold my hand in public sometimes. That isn’t very encouraging. I love you, and I love us. What I don’t love is those moments where I feel … unwanted.”

Harry scoots close, and Louis bites his lip only to suppress the building whimper. Regardless of what they’ve been going through, they are still mates, and Louis has missed Harry’s touch more than anything.

“I’m sorry, jellybean. I just—I swear I’m trying. I know that it may seem like I’m embarrassed of you and us, but I promise you I’m not. This relationship is everything I want, and yes, we’re young, and we could be absolutely wrong for each other but, Lou, can we please let it come to us and not us go to it.”

Louis closes in the last little space left over and lays his head on Harry’s shoulder. “That’s all I want.”

“I don’t like Josh.”

“I know, and I shouldn’t have invited him on this trip. It was selfish of me to do so. I knew he had feelings for me, and I thought he would be able to put those aside for my benefit alone.” Louis lifted his head, and gazed up at the towering hotel building. “When you left me in the park, I called him.”

“Oh yeah, knight and shining armor told me,” Harry grumbled.

“He kissed me.”

Harry’s calmer than Louis expects. He doesn’t even move. Louis even holds his breath slightly because he doesn’t know what he expects the alpha to do.

“Did you like it? Did you get the answers you were looking for?”

Louis rolls his eyes, and even smirks a little because the questions are in true Harry fashion. “I wanted to rip him apart, I was so pissed that he—ughh—it was just horrible.”

“A horrible kiss or a horrible experience?”

“Harry.” Louis deadpans, stern eyes falling on his troubled mate. “I’m telling you because I love you, and I don’t want any more secrets. This is a new start not only for me but for us.”

“So you’re not going to sever our bond?”

“No, I’m not. I understand what Dr. Raja means, but like you said, I would rather it come to us than any other way.”

Harry wraps his arm around Louis’ shoulder and pulls him back close. He then kisses Louis’ forehead gently. “Good.”

“I love you, alpha.”

“I love you too,” he whispers. They sit silently, basking in each other's comfort that they had been without. “I’m going to kill Josh, and I mean it this time.”

***

Louis’ thrown entirely for a loop when he has to be escorted inside the ABO facility due to a slew of reporters shouting and swinging cameras around. Harry looks worried as he sits in the car, but Louis quickly waves him off as he’s rushed inside.

He’s signing in at the front desk when he quickly eyes Jacob, “What’s going on?”

The heavy-set male looks towards the drawn shades, “I have no idea. What I do know is that it was a hassle just trying to get in here.”

Louis frowns, “That’s usually never a good sign.”

“Right.” Jacob adds, “Must be pretty juicy stuff whatever they’re here for.”

Louis goes to reply, but the familiar door that leads him to the other side opens, and Dr. James is smiling big at him. He gives Jacob a goodbye wave and heads towards the older man. “Dr. James is everything okay?” he asks, thumb pointed at the noisy group outside.

He briefly looks over Louis’ head, and the grimace is unsettling, “Nothing for you to worry over.” He directs Louis down the familiar walkway he takes to get to Dr. Raja’s office. The closer they get to her door, the more his stomach starts to rumble with anxiety. He has to wipe his hands on his jeans twice by the time they’re at her door. The minute it opens, and Dr. Raja gives Louis a warm grin, the discomfort subsides.

“Hello Louis.” She hums, voice soft as she moves aside to let them enter, “How was your morning?”

“Pretty good. Weird coming here to see all those people outside, though. Very nerve-wracking.” When she shares an unreadable glance with Dr. James, Louis wrings his shaky hands together. “Is everything okay?”

Her wide eyes throw him off, but then she relaxes and smiles at him, “Yes, everything is great. Just nosy people doing what they do best.”

He giggles and quickly makes himself comfortable. Easing down into his corner of the couch, Louis watches as Dr. Raja sits next to him. Dr. James takes one of the mustard yellow sitting chairs adjacent to the sofa. He took note of the thin stack of papers on the glass coffee table, and he felt as if his blood pressure was steadily rising. Those had to be his test results, the answers to all his burning questions. His eyes stayed on the stack, even as Dr. James took them into his hand and flipped quickly through.

“Those are my results … right?”

They shared a look and a soft nod before Dr. James spoke up. “Yes, they are. Louis, we first want to thank you for entrusting us with such an important moment. Thank you for sticking with the therapy sessions and going through all the testing given everything you went through in the past.”

Louis feels hot around his neck and jawline. He lets his right-hand press lightly into his cheek. “Uh, you’re welcome? I just—I’m thankful for everyone here as well. I haven’t felt so welcomed in a long time, so … thanks again.”

Dr. James smiles and then looks down at the papers. “Now, getting right down to it. First, blood results and a lab conclusion usually doesn’t take this long—but—we’d found an abnormality in your blood that we wanted to further test. That is why it took us so long to get your results.” He flips a few pages in, pulls a loose-leaflet out, and slides it across the coffee table in front of Louis.

Louis honestly doesn’t understand any of the charts before him, but a thin brown finger points to a graph, and Louis focuses on that. “This is the number of omega platelets you have, and this is the number of alpha platelets you have. What do you notice about them?”

“They’re the same amount.”

“Exactly.” When Louis looks up at the man, still confused, he smiles understandingly. “I’m pretty confident in my data, but after we go over this, I do want to perform an ultrasound on you to be safe and accurate. Have you had an ultrasound done before Louis?”

“Uh, no sir.”

“A lot of times, doctors don’t think to do further testing. They even tend to overlook minuscule imperfections. Our facility seeks those imperfections out to analyze them and dissect what else they could possibly mean. That slight defect in your bloodwork just wasn’t dinging on their radar, but on ours, it wouldn’t quit.”

Louis shook his head, looking briefly at a smiling Dr. Raja. “I still don’t understand.”

She grabs hold of his shaky hand and nods her head towards Dr. James. Louis gives the man his undivided attention so he can grasp what exactly they’re trying to tell him.

“Louis, you have both genetic make-ups of an alpha and omega. Now, like I said earlier, I want to perform an ultrasound as a kind of final clarification, but the bloodwork pretty much confirms it.”

His eyes hurt from how far he’s got them expanded. “B-both?”

“Mhmm. It’s an extremely rare genetic disorder, and you are one of five cases globally. The reporters outside are here because, well, as of right now you’re the only known case in America.”

“How? There are plenty of people who are labeled one classification and turn out another.”

He shakes his head, “No, Louis, that isn’t your case. In IC cases, medically termed inaccurately classified, alphas turn out to be omegas, and omegas turn out to be alphas. They experience a mutation that makes them present as the opposite classification. They physically look like their birth-given classification but have the opposite reproductive organs, which isn’t noted until they present. It also has a lot more to do with society. We have this ingrained need to instantly determine something about someone before they can go through adolescent changes on their own.”

Dr. Raja waits for Dr. James to pause before she chimes in. “Yes, and just to add on. In a 2009 case study, two-hundred children were monitored until the projected day of presenting, and ten were labeled ICs. Data found in those ten cases showed they had already displayed synonymous traits of the opposite classification than the one assigned at birth.”

Louis’ steady eyes pull away from Dr. Raja and back to Dr. James. “You have both reproductive organs, Louis. So, therefore, you are essentially capable in choosing your classification and conforming to the second-gender of your choice.”

“But I have a knot, I mean, I didn’t go through a rut, but I vividly remember my sorry excuse of a knot popping up on my sixteenth birthday.” Louis counters, still unable to believe what’s being said.

“My colleagues and I believe that at one point your alpha hormones outweighed those of your omega. This is likely due to it being the more dominant gene. The presence of omega hormone is also the main reason your knot is the size it is, and why your body was unable to send you into your first rut.” Louis’ following along, so Dr. James uses that as his queue to continue. “I was talking with Dr. Raja about the early conversations you two had about your childhood and your bonding with your mate Harry.”

“The only reason you were labeled alpha as a baby when they drew your blood was because, again, it is the dominant gene and blood type. The unexplained slick doesn’t mean anything detrimental, just your body sort of coming to a delayed bloom, per se. But I do think that your sexual experience with Harry ignited the shift in your body and caused you to produce slick.”

Louis massages his temples, and Dr. Raja’s soft hand rubbing at his back helps him not freak out as severely as he wants. “I’m just so … overwhelmed.”

She frowns, “Louis, this isn’t something you’re gonna wrap your head around in one sitting. Being skeptical and lost is okay, and we just want you to cope the best way for you.”

“Do I have to give you an answer right now? I just … I kind of want to ignore this for a bit—if that’s okay?”

They nod simultaneously, then Dr. James speaks again. “That’s totally fine. Before you go, we’ll perform the ultrasound. Now, we understand that you plan to leave Sunday, which is perfectly fine. If you haven’t decided by then, just call the facility when you do, and we will set everything up from there.”

“Thank you.” Louis whispers, rising with them and giving Dr. Raja a brief hug on his way out. He doesn’t know if he’ll see her again, but he does know that he wants her to be the only person he confides in when he comes to grips with his new reality.

Louis goes through the motions as Dr. James performs the ultrasound. He doesn’t swipe over Louis’ stomach long, the gel making the glide slightly ticklish. Once he’s written a few notes down, he turns to Louis with a broad smile. “Just what I thought.” He wipes Louis’ stomach clean and helps him down from the high examination table. “This is where we’ll end things, but I hope to see you soon, Louis, and I wish you nothing but the best on this new, exciting part of your life.”

“Thank you, Dr. James, this was … I don’t think you’ll ever know how thankful I am.”

***

Louis’ mom has been crying on and off ever since he told her what he learned at the facility. She even manages to encourage his own sparse tears to push forward. But he manages to quickly wipe them away as he waits in the lobby. The reporters have dispersed, which helps his anxiety, but he’s still on edge.

“Mom, please.”

“Sorry, I’m just so—goodness—this is just so long-awaited, and I wish I’d been there.”

Louis smiles into the phone, “Me too, but mom, I have answers. Like, real fucking answers!” he whispers happily. “We aren’t crazy!”

“Hell yeah!” she shouts with a breathy chuckle. The line is silent as they allow the words to settle. “Are you scared to tell Harry?”

Louis shifts on his feet. “Kind of. I just … I don’t want him to try and choose for me, you know. Like, I don’t want him to automatically assume anything.”

“He shouldn’t want anything at all because it isn’t his body. The decision is yours alone, Lou, don’t let anybody take that away from you.”

“I just …I don’t know what to do.” He sighs pitifully, “I feel like whatever I choose, someone ends up unhappy.”

“Honey, that is where you’re wrong. Nobody’s happiness matters but your own. Those who love you, and I mean truly love you, will accept you no matter what. I will love you no matter what because you are my beautiful pup who deserves only good things and good people.”

“More than the fishes in the sea?” he asks softly.

“And the stars in the sky, pup.”

***

Harry doesn’t say anything, even though Louis can tell the alpha is eager to ask questions. He’s grateful that he isn’t immediately questioned. He wants to tell Harry and Josh at once, so he doesn’t have to repeat himself. He knows that the two men aren’t the best of friends, but he’s hoping they’ll put aside their differences so he can get the ginormous news out in the open.

It’s pretty tense when they’re all sitting in Louis’ hotel room. Harry hasn’t confronted Josh about the kiss, and Louis’ thankful for that. Josh has also kept his distance, which hurts but is for the best.

“Uh, I’m … fuck.” He wipes his hands across his jeans, shifting gently on his feet. His eyes flit from Harry sat on the bed, to Josh lounged in the armchair.

“Take your time, jellybean.” Harry encourages.

Louis rushes through what all he’d been told earlier in the day, keeping in mind to not look either alpha in the face as he does so. It’s weird once everything is out in the open, and he wants to ignore the silence closing in around him, but that’s just not possible. “Say something, anybody.”

Harry stands, and Louis thinks he’s about to leave, but he engulfs him in a hug instead. Relaxing instantly, Louis soaks in the alpha’s warmth along with the security that comes with being in the arms of someone you love.

“I just want you happy, Lou, that’s it,” he whispers, squeezing Louis around the shoulders.

“But, Harry, can you deal with this? All these people, these eyes, judging not only me but us and our relationship? Because I can only deal with one problem. And you not being able to accept what is to become of our future and how the public will see us is not something I have the capacity of dealing with right now.”

“I've got my own demons to work through, babe, and I promise for you and our future I’m going to do my best.”

They hug for a while longer when Louis remembers Josh. He stands on his tiptoes, peeking over Harry’s shoulder to find an empty chair. “Where did—”

“Please don’t ruin our moment.” Harry whines, gently swaying Louis’ body side to side.

“I need to go find him. He’s my friend.”

“Fine,” Harry replies sourly, a pout that Louis kisses away briefly before leaving.

When no answer comes to Josh’s hotel door Louis frowns. He’s turning towards the elevators when he catches Josh sitting in the small sitting area.

“Joshy?”

He smiles minutely over at Louis, thin black hairs brushing over his eyes as he peers up. “Hmm.”

Louis rubs at his forearm, “Did I do something…”

He eases up out of the chair, “No, so don’t start that. I just—I felt like you two needed your privacy. I’m happy for you Lou, and like I've said from the beginning, I just want you happy. I’ll support whatever decision you choose, so just go with your gut.”

Louis throws his body into Josh’s arms, and for a split moment, he thinks he’s crossed an invisible boundary. Then Josh holds him tight around his shoulders, and he exhales comfortably. “Thank you.”

“Of course, Lou. You mean a lot to me.”

He’s laid in bed that same night, still unsure of what he wants to do. Even though he’s more than worried about the future, he has a perfect support system behind him. That alone makes all the worry fade away, if only just for a minute.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later_

_Doctors at an ABO facility in Houston, Texas, have discovered the first, and only, case of a person capable of giving and bearing children. Louis Tomlinson, a classified alpha and sophomore in college, has been named the only person to have both an alpha and omega's reproductive organs in the United States. Tomlinson has been staying off the radar in his childhood home over the winter break, most likely coming to terms with this abnormal news. It was released a few days earlier that Tomlinson finally settled on a classification and will be the primary guest at a press conference this weekend for the facility—_

Louis shuts the television off. He eagerly wants to throw the remote at the TV screen, but he doesn’t want to get chewed out by his mom for ruining her flatscreen. Life for him has been as normal as it can be for someone who gets thrust into the limelight. Unlike most who would enjoy this moment and soak up every little piece, he’s just anxiously awaiting the day he’s just another face in the crowd.He can’t go out without someone noticing him. Can’t enjoy being a normal human being without being asked questions that are so intrusive that he has to hold back eye rolls and bothered groans.

His mom was, as usual, being his everything. Even if he did despise how much he relied on her, it was nice to have someone to keep the noise at bay.

“I keep telling you that they aren’t saying anything you need to hear.” She runs her fingers through his fringe, “They just want a story, a flashy interesting headline.”

“Well, I’m done being a flashy headline. I just wanna be left alone now.”

“They’ll get bored soon. Just think about all the other people you’re going to help.”

Louis nodded half-heartedly, “Yeah, I know.”

He watched her trudge into the kitchen to start dinner, and when he couldn’t see anymore of her, he frowned. No matter how much he pushed the feeling down Louis always felt bad. Louis knew that his condition would be a gateway to many unanswered questions for other people; but he couldn’t help but want to be selfish with his time and his body.

“I wish Harry were here,” he whispered to himself, holding his own body close as a pitiful replacement of his mate.

The main reason they decided it was best they separate for the remainder of break, was so Louis could deal with his changing world and Harry could confront the skeletons in his closet. 

Harry’s skeletons consisted of him telling his parents about Louis and their mating. Louis had wanted to accompany the sophomore, but Harry had been adamant about traveling alone the first time around.

The press conference was in two days, and Harry had promised Louis he’d be there to support him. But anytime Louis asked about the alpha coming up, Harry would almost uncannily be pulled away before he could answer. It was worrisome, but Louis didn’t want to let his mind run away with itself like it had a tendency of doing.

“He’ll be here, Lou.” His mom hugs him from behind, a familiar comfort. It’s not the one he’s eager for but it still manages to calm his nerves.

“We’ll see.” he presses into her forearm.

***

On the day of the press conference, Louis is up and alone. He hasn’t heard from Harry since the dreaded news story on Wednesday, and when Friday night came along, he concluded the alpha wouldn’t make it. He didn’t want to think this was Harry’s way of saying he couldn’t do it, but as each second ticked by, that’s what it felt like. Louis knows it's drastic for his mind to shoot so low down, but just because Harry was on board with everything two weeks ago doesn’t mean he could be now. The press conference isn’t until noon, which gives him five hours to overthink and stress himself out completely. He wants to call Harry, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to be a bother.

The lumpy brown sugar-cinnamon oatmeal is just good enough to steal all his focus. “Do you think I should’ve told him? I mean, I kind of wanted to tell him in person.”

She pauses her sweeping, weight leaned heavily on the sturdy wooden pole as she thinks. “Um, I don’t think it matters. At this point he shouldn’t even be with you solely because of your classification. It would make sense in another world where things were a lot more normal, but they aren’t. So, his love for you should be separate from biology.”

He scoops up a glop of oats, and after it’s pressed into the pocket of his mouth, he lets the sweet taste soak into his cheek folds. He then rolls the mushy ball around on his tongue a few times before swallowing it down. “He hasn’t reached out to me since Wednesday.”

“Stop stressing yourself over this.” She scolds. “If Harry is supposed to be a part of this moment, he will be. But, for now, you need to focus on staying sane.

“I know,” he says. A gentle sigh that makes his mother frown.

He doesn’t want her pity. It already sucks that he’s swallowed her back into his hole. No matter how much she reminds him that she isn’t bothered; he can’t help but feel otherwise. Maybe Harry not being here is a good thing, he’d just swallow the alpha in as well.

The doorbell ringing through the one-story home interrupts his personal bashing. A quick glance over to the stovetop clock has him puzzled. Dr. James and Dr. Raja shouldn’t be here until eleven-thirty, and it’s barely pushing nine. As his mother goes to let them in, Louis finishes up his breakfast. He’s still in his pajamas, but he’s way too deep in his self-loathing to care enough to rush upstairs and put on a decent outfit.

“Why is my jellybean frowning?”

Louis’ head shoots up, and he whines at the body crowding the kitchen entrance. Harry looks exactly the same, his curls still almost sweep his shoulders, and his fuzzy face is spread into a wide familiar grin. He looks just like he had when Louis had parted with him in the Houston airport—sans the tears.

“Harry?”

He drops his duffle and spreads his arms wide, “Come here, little alpha.”

Louis somehow manages to scurry his way into Harry’s broad chest, tears that had been clouding his eyesight pressed into the thin white t-shirt. “You-you.”

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world jellybean.”

“I thought…”

“Shh. We both know how you let this cute little head of yours run rampant.”

Louis giggled through his tears. “I—”

“Told you so.” His mother shouted from somewhere in the house, a warm blush sneaking up to blanket the apples of his sharp cheekbones.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Haz. It … it was rough without you.”

“You weren’t the only one. Every minute I was home, I thought about you and how you were doing. The last few days were pretty … shitty, so that’s why I was sort of MIA.”

“What happened? Is everything okay?” Louis questioned, the worry already seeping into his bones at the idea of Harry’s family wanting nothing to do with him.

“Not so much right now, but I think the future looks pretty good.” He squeezes the shorter male closer. “My dad flipped shit, especially once he realized who you were. He then told me I was dead to him.” Harry holds Louis a little tighter when the boy's body tenses up. “My mom, on the other hand, saw this as perfect opportunity to serve my dad long overdue divorce papers. She can’t wait to meet you.”

“I’m so sorry, H,” Louis whispered.

Harry pushed Louis’ body back only far enough to see the disheartened face. Lifting the sulking head up by the chin, Harry smiled big. “There is nothing to be sorry for, Lou. My dad and I never saw eye to eye, and this was just the kick we both needed to part ways for good. I was more worried about what my mom would say than him, and the moment she accepted me—us—I knew that life from then on out would be just fine.”

Louis wraps Harry close again, forehead burrowing between the brunette’s pectorals. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Missed my little alpha, or little omega.” Harry chuckled awkwardly, the sound pressed right over Louis’ ear.

“You’ll still love me, right? No matter what I chose, you and I are forever.”

“Until the world stops spinning.” Harry solidifies.

***

Louis gets cold feet when he goes to tell Harry what classification he chose. Even though Harry has reminded him time and time again that he’s going nowhere, Louis still has this threadbare inkling that it won’t be that easy. The momentum to tell Harry rises after his shower until he bounds downstairs to tell him, and he’s met with too many unfamiliar faces. Between press conference briefings and mini-meditation sessions with Dr. Raja, he only catches a small glimpse of Harry chatting happily off in the corner with his mom.

He’s sitting in the old worn out leather recliner, nodding his head dryly at what will be expected of him at the conference. He’d been going through the motions long enough to psych himself up and think that maybe he couldn’t put his life—his _body_ —on the line for America to scrutinize.

It’d been utter hell before when he was just suffering in silence. Once this press conference ended, he’d have to suffer under the microscope of a million eyes. College had already been unmatched territory, it would only amplify now that everyone who didn’t live under a rock would know who he was. And the one thing he learned growing up in this body, is that, people don’t have to verbally speak to showcase their opinion on a topic.

“Stop it right now.” Louis turned expanded eyes up to Dr. Raja. She was in an all-black pants suit, a simple white dress shirt underneath, and a beautiful royal purple hijab with gold embroidery throughout.

“I—”

“You were overthinking.” She interrupted with a gentle smile, sitting on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of him. “And probably telling yourself that you don’t deserve closure and good things.”

“People are going to hate me. I’m something new for people to judge and ridicule.”

“Humans are strange. They can find fault in everyone else but themselves.” She grabs hold of his hands, and the gesture helps everything around him melt away. “Life isn’t going to get easy for you, but what you’re failing to realize is this life is _yours_. And it only becomes anyone else’s when you allow it.”

“What if Harry decides that it’s all too much, and he leaves.”

“You keep living. But from how every time his eyes land on you, he smiles ear to ear, I can guarantee he’s going nowhere.”

Louis gives her a sheepish grin, and before anything else is said, she pulls him in for a hug. The comfort she brings him, helping his mind recenter itself.

“I told everyone to ease off you. So if you want to go talk with them before we leave, go on ahead.”

Louis rises so fast that Dr. Raja cackles and points a thumb towards the kitchen. With another gentle smile he slips past all the talking doctors, and ducks into the kitchen where his mother and Harry are.

Harry smiles goofily, rounding the island and instantly wrapping Louis in a hug, “You managed to escape, I see.”

“A little help from a friend, but yes.” Louis snuggled close.

“You missed a FaceTime call with Josh.”

“Did I?”

“Mhmm. He wasn’t too happy seeing my face, but I told him you’d call back if you got the chance.”

Louis grabbed for his phone. “I’ll call him back now. We’re about to leave.”

Josh answers on the third ring with a big smile. “Lou, how are you?”

It’s only been two weeks since Josh left for South Korea, but Louis notices little changes about the alpha. His hair is trimmed down into a bowl cut, for starters, which makes him look somehow younger than before. And the thin black tank top he’s sporting showcases the hardened biceps that Louis recalls being nothing but soft flesh. “Hi, Joshy. I’m … okay.”

“Today’s the big day, huh.”

“Mhmm.”

“You nervous?”

“Of course. You know me, overthinking is my second name.”

Josh laughs, “You’ve got so many people in your corner, Agi taeyang. No need to stress.”

“I know.” Louis settles on. “How’s home?”

“Pretty good. I didn’t realize how much I missed my family and friends but isn’t that how it always goes.” They shared a laugh before it died out, and Josh carried on. “I told them about you. Now my dad won’t stop calling you my milaeui salang” ( _Future Love:_ **미래의** **사랑** )

“What does that mean?” Louis asked with interest.

Josh went to speak but was interrupted by Dr. James. “We’re leaving in five, Louis.”

He frowned at the phone screen. Josh, despite the call being cut short,was still smiling. “Oh.”

“It’s fine, Lou. Just go and remember who’s all standing behind you.”

“It’s going to be live on Ashland channel 7 news Facebook page if you want to tune in.”

He gives a thumbs up and goofy grin. “Love you, Lou.”

“Love you too,” Louis says quietly, staring at the screen long after it’s gone away and been replaced with his call log.

Harry hugs him from behind and kisses just behind the shell of his ear. “You ready?”

“Don’t have any other choice, so I guess.” Louis breathes. When he’s pushed towards the foyer, he swallows the growing lump, focusing on Harry’s firm hands against his waist.

“Whenever you need a focal point, your mom and I will be at the very back, ready to reel you in. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Louis’ only crying because this will be the last time he’s this close to Harry until after the conference. His mom and the alpha will be riding in a separate car, while Louis rides with the people who will be tasked with changing his life forever in the next coming weeks.

Everyone has eased their way outside. The only ones left in the thin hallway are him, Harry, and his mom. She gives him a teary hug that’s tight and suffocating, and after a few more kisses to his wet cheeks, she tells Harry that she’ll wait for him in the car. When the front door clicks shut, Louis wraps Harry as close as he can get him, the dam that was being halfheartedly held together breaks. He’s crying for a million reasons, and it’s nice to not have Harry ask him what those many reasons are. He lets Louis have his moment because he knows that from this point forward, Louis will need a solid support system.

“You’ve got this jellybean. And even if you don’t, I’ve got it for you.”

Louis feels bad when he rubs his tears across Harry’s t-shirt. It’s as he pulls back that he grimaces at the wet spots growing in size. “Love you more than the fishes in the sea—”

“And the stars in the sky, little alpha.”

***

“So, Louis, how does it feel being the only known case in America as of right now with this abnormality?”

Louis cringes at the word abnormality but powers through. “I’m hopeful for not only my future but the future of those who may be suffering just like me.”

“Any advice to those in your situation, who might be afraid to seek help?”

He ponders the question, and staring down at the blue tablecloth, he can’t help but think about the fantastic group of people he’s got now. He eyes the smiling reporter who’s awaiting his answer.

“It gets easier when you allow yourself the ability to be vulnerable. There is no rush to finding your identity, and it may seem daunting to reach out, but it might just bring you to the people who’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Alright, final question,” Dr. James says after, pointing to a random woman in the sea of finely dressed people. “You, ma’am.”

She smiles warmly at Louis as she stands. He gulps because he already knows what question she’s poised to ask. It’s the one that probably has every American on the edge of their seat. Dr. James had helped ease the anticipation by assigning the most awaited question to the last reporter chosen to speak.

“Honored to be asking the question most are eager to know if it’s okay with you?” he nods softly, shy eyes focusing on her smiling mouth and nothing else. “Alright then, Louis. What is your chosen classification?”

His vision spans out to the rest of the room, which has all eyes on him. When he feels the rumbling in his belly begin to build, he looks to the one person who he knows will be his silence amongst the noise. Harry is smiling. Windswept curls, and a big, bearded grin that’s hiding the dimples Louis fell in love with. The moment his stomach settles, Louis swallows his fear. With his eyes back on the reporter, who is still giving him her undivided attention, he takes a deep breath.

Life only gets better from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for showing this fic love and any attention at all. I hope it was worth a read, and that you will not be too upset with the ending lol. A drabble is in its future so rest easy! All the love, peace and chicken grease! ✌🏾❤️
> 
> *I have a [Tumblr](https://writewhatiwant22.tumblr.com/) now! Send me messages! However, if it’s anything rude or problematic I will not answer, just an FYI.*

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a Comment for a Sequel! It would include more background on Louis’ classification as well as their relationship as two alphas. As always thank you for reading, leaving comments, and kudos. Stay safe in these times + Peace and Chicken Grease ✌🏾
> 
> (Please don’t be discouraged to comment even with the added comment mod, I love them so so much. Recent backlash regarding this fic, that I do not wish to explain, was brought to my attention on a tumblr blog I started but have since deleted. I would rather save myself or anyone else reading from seeing any hurtful,harmful, or triggering words.The sequel is still in the works, and I thank you all who read anything I write. Much love, stay safe, and as always peace and chicken grease. ❤️✌🏾)


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